Appreciation: a loaded word, isn't it? Do you truly comprehend its depth? More importantly, do you feel appreciated? Relationships, much like everything else, operate within a value system, a system we often fail to understand fully. Allow me to guide you through it.
Let's go on a little virtual journey, shall we? A quick search on the mighty internet, our all-knowing friend Google, yields the definition of appreciation as "the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something." Merriam-Webster offers similar sentiments, highlighting admiration, approval, gratitude, and intriguingly, an "increase in value."
That's right, appreciation translates to an increase in value. I delved deeper into the concept of value in my previous post, where I explored the adage, "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" It essentially emphasized the human tendency to invest in things that yield benefits, and ignore those that don't.
Now, here's where the plot thickens: the value concept is two-fold, comprised of intrinsic and extrinsic components. Intrinsic value, or self-worth, hinges on confidence. Your level of self-assuredness influences your perceived worth in any situation. Extrinsic value, on the other hand, is the worth society assigns to you.
Consider a penny: an unassuming coin, right? However, its intrinsic value lies in the copper it embodies. Yet, most of us overlook its potential, focusing on the nominal value instead. Similarly, we often undervalue our intrinsic worth and let society dictate our value.
Here's a revelation: you can't truly appreciate anything if your self-worth fluctuates with societal opinions. You might idolize others based on their societal standing, thinking that their pedestal is the ultimate goal. But, my dear friend, true appreciation begins when you start valuing yourself, independent of the world's judgement.
So, should you be appreciated? Absolutely, especially if you've contributed value beyond the baseline, uplifting others and the world around you. Should you feel appreciated? Again, yes, if you acknowledge your growing self-confidence. Lastly, do you understand appreciation? I believe, after this enlightening exploration, the answer is a resounding "Yes!"
Imagine reconnecting with a charming gentleman after years of lost contact. He invites you to a dinner he prepared to prove his culinary skills. As you enjoy the delicious meal, a question arises—what comes after dinner? This story delves into the dynamics of self-worth, relationships, and the price we put on ourselves.
After savoring an exquisite meal, you faced a choice. Do you leave after grading his cooking skills? Do you suggest watching Netflix? Or do you consider going out for dessert? Ultimately, you decided to pay him with more than just attention or physical cash. The value placed on the dinner and effort led to a deeper connection—the intimate exchange of emotions, a dinner smash.
But here's the twist. Despite the connection formed, you found yourself left alone, unsatisfied. It doesn't matter how incredible the intercourse was or how much the meal cost. What truly matters is how much you value yourself. Did you come at too low a price? Did you sell yourself short?
It's time to increase your self-esteem and expand your bucket. Relationships should be based on mutual respect, appreciation, and genuine value, not a mere transactional exchange. The worth you assign yourself sets the standard for how others will perceive and treat you.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar scenario? How did it make you feel? Share your experiences and join the discussion on valuing oneself in relationships.
Before we dive headfirst into the whirlpool of love, I'll tease you with this: Falling for a partner's potential rather than their reality is like building a mansion on quicksand. Hold that thought, darling, and let's begin.
Dating isn't much different from shopping for a new set of wheels – it's all about knowing your value and not settling for a clunker. The lessons of love begin early in life. When our familial trees intertwine and root deeply, we, as the budding fruits, get the best chance to blossom – not just survive, but truly thrive.
Think about it: two trees, side by side, entwining roots for stronger growth. They nurture their fruits – us – with doubled attention, allowing us to fully ripen. But a single tree? It's too busy ensuring the bare minimum: survival, not thriving. The message here? Whether we’re talking trees or parents, doubling up usually leads to better results.
Now, what happens when one parental figure, say “Daddy,” goes AWOL? That’s when our market values get skewed. We become a shiny sports car that doesn't know it’s worth more than a second-hand sedan.
Who taught me the "Ways of the Wang"? A menagerie of characters, led by my dad, backed up by a chorus line of soul singers, and late-night radio talks. They infiltrated my subconscious with their smooth tunes and nuggets of wisdom, shaping my understanding of my worth, and how to strut it on the dating catwalk.
The key is understanding our roles in the market of love: Men need to learn to be discerning buyers, and women need to learn to be chosen with dignity and confidence. In a world muddied with gender confusion, these traditional roles are essential in creating balanced, thriving relationships.
Women, like Mother Earth, are our fertile ground for planting the seeds of love and nurturing fruitful relationships. Men, on the other hand, need to choose wisely where they sow their seeds.
How you present yourself is your packaging – and darling, it's crucial. It’s your teaser, your movie trailer, your sneak peek. It’s what makes someone decide whether you're worth the time to get to know, or not.
Let’s not fool ourselves, after puberty hits, a substantial part of a man's drive revolves around sex. It's in understanding this drive, and harnessing its power, that we can become savvy operators in the marketplace of love.
Style and appearance play a critical role in our love lives. With gay men influencing the fashion world, we see a blur in the line separating masculine and feminine dressing. This crossover style confuses the marketplace, and consequently, our choices in it.
The power of attraction is evident in tales as old as time. From Helen of Troy to Delilah, men have done unthinkable things driven by desire. The key lies in knowing your worth and leveraging it to command respect and commitment.
Hey, you, yes, you! What if I told you that the secret to a blissful relationship could be lurking in your future, rather than your present? Picture this, your dream Eleanor (yup, that irresistible Ford Mustang from "Gone in 60 seconds") may not be the model you settle for today because of your current confidence level.
Imagine if your future self, the one you aspire to become, chose your partner. This confident, successful future self knows his value and chooses a mate who's truly compatible. Mind-blowing, right?
I knew this dude, let's call him Bob. Bob was good-looking, funny, and all around great guy. But Bob didn't see his value. He thought women only saw him as a friend. Fast forward a few years, and he's dating someone who probably felt the same way he did. Could be love... or maybe they both just ran out of options. Don't be like Bob.
Remember that Eleanor? You wanted her, but you settled for the cheaper model because you didn't believe the real Eleanor would still be available. That's the confidence talking, and it's messing with your happiness. Now, what happens when you discover Eleanors are not that rare after all? You're stuck with Old Faithful, which doesn't quite cut it.
Let's shift gears. You're in a relationship, and all's going well. Suddenly, your value shoots up. You've been promoted, lost weight, or came into a windfall. Congrats, Big Boss, you can now afford the real Eleanor! But wait, you're already with someone. You're loyal, so you resist the allure of the shiny new Eleanors.
But then, your dream Eleanor is offered to you for a test drive, no strings attached. Can you resist? If Old Faithful starts giving you trouble, chances are, you're going for that test drive.
So you cave in, test-drive that Eleanor and get lured in by the attention it brings. You can't afford both, so you let Old Faithful sit in the garage, while you splurge on Eleanor. But guess what? Someone else notices Old Faithful and sees the value you missed.
Your shiny new Eleanor turns out to be a lemon. And while you're dealing with the fallout, Old Faithful has moved on, possibly upgraded by her new owner. If you're lucky enough to get Old Faithful back, she's not the same anymore.
This humorous and slightly twisted journey is to help you understand the psychology of love and relationships. If you've ever wondered why people cheat, it might be because they didn't test enough Eleanors to recognize the value of Old Faithful. So, strap in, and let's find our true Eleanors together!
From the dawn of creation, the divine has marked a unique place for each of us in the value system. The Almighty, Man, Woman, and Child, each is intertwined with the other, illuminating their worth and value.
The divine recognises its omnipotence by creating man. Man, in turn, plays a vital role in the cycle of life, contributing to the creation of woman and, eventually, child. Strip away man, and the divine's power remains intact, but its manifestation would be lost. In essence, women and children wouldn't exist. This delicate balance has been skewed in recent times.
The divine breathed life into Adam, confirming its godly status. Then, crafting Eve from Adam's rib, it ignited a love that was truly divine. Adam and Eve, the first companions, loved without the knowledge of gender. They were simply best friends in paradise.
The Almighty, to maintain harmony, entrusted Adam with a single rule. Yet, to instill value in Eve, He gave her the ultimate choice - to eat or not to eat from the forbidden tree.
Eve couldn't sow seeds or plow fields, nor should she have to. Her worth would be discovered in motherhood. This divine plan could only unfold if the Almighty remained silent, offering Eve the choice to acknowledge her divine origin.
Note: Throughout time, teachings have referred to the divine as HIM or a MAN. This is used here for consistency, acknowledging that the Almighty is all-encompassing.
The option to eat from the tree had to be there. Only by tasting the forbidden fruit together could Adam and Eve awaken to their true identities.
Fast-forward several centuries, and this divine truth remains as relevant as ever - You're perfect! 'Perfection' is the pinnacle of what one can be. If there's an exact copy of something, it's perfect. Let's use a pencil for instance.
Remember, you're unique, one-of-a-kind. That alone makes you perfect. The illusion of imperfection arises only when you compare yourself to others. You might crave someone else's physique, features, or hair, but consider this - it takes at least five different people to measure up to your uniqueness.
Now that you understand your divine origin and purpose, it's time to embrace your perfection. You're perfect, just as you are!