Thinking everything should be 50/50 is killing your relationship! If you remember back to school or maybe you're still in school, but a 90-100% is an "A," 80-89 is a "B," 70-79% is a "C," 60-69 is a "D," and anything below a "D" is an "F." That means that if you received a 50% on anything, you got an "F." "F" stands for failure!
Your relationships are doing what!? Failing. I know you were taught because you're a man, you're supposed to do certain things. You were taught as a woman, and she's supposed to do certain things. That's completely false, and it's killing your relationship.
The break-down. Jordan didn't expect Scottie to bring 20% of his energy to the game each night. If he did, they wouldn't have won six rings. At this point, the answer should be obvious they won six rings because Jordan brought 100%, Pip brought 100%, and each member of the team brought 100% every night. If Pip only brought 20% of the energy that night Jordan played with the flu, we would not be talking about the Bulls and their six rings.
I want you to be successful in relationships, but to do that, you have to stop thinking you're splitting everything down the middle. You need 100%, and she needs 100% to get a 100%. If she brings 100% and you bring your 50% together, you're 75%, that's a "C," which is average at best!
How did they do it?
What binds them all together?
There has to be something that you could use to your advantage, right?
I asked all the same questions and then it hit me.
There’s a not-so-secret, secret amongst the wealthy.
When you become King the importance diverts from being a leader of your country to finding a suitable wife. When you look amongst the wealthy there is something that is hidden.
It’s their wives.
Every last one of them is married with the exception of one, who has maintained a long-lasting relationship with one girl after four tries at marriage.
You want to emulate what did to gain success but success eludes you, why?
I’m not taking away any of their genii but I do believe the wife is where their brilliance comes from. Napolean Hill wrote about the transmutation of sex most think it’s about not having sex and using the extra “energy” to focus on accomplishing your goals.
I think it’s about adding energy to your focused goal.
When you have a wife two things can be said. One, you no longer focus energy on getting the baddest chick in the club ‘cause you already have her and she’s your wife.
That equals energy savings because if you know like I know it takes a lot of energy to remember what this one likes, how to excite that one, and what’s important to the other one. And two you have another energy source supporting your goals by giving you confidence and providing insight that you might not have ever thought of.
This list of the top ten richest men (and their wives) are as follows:
We’re a team gentleman and as your coach, this passage from Pacino in the longest yard (apply it to relationships) about sums it up. This is the millionaire’s secret. You can do what you want. Anything you have a passion for she will help you achieve it. Not too often do you find a family that remains poor forever that stays together?
I don’t know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time.
Now I can't do it for ya, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One-half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second.
On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when adding up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight, it's the guy who's willing to die who's gonna win that inch.
And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. You’re gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?
You may not even understand transmutation let alone the transmutation of sex.
There you are sitting on the couch contemplating relationship suicide or to watch porn. You have involuntarily abstained from sexual intimacy with your wife.
You're on your favorite couch. Legs up on the ottoman. The t.v. is on the news channel but that's not what you're seeing.
You're remembering that one time when you came home from work stressed out.
Suffering from the tension of spreadsheets, I will get that right over to you, and meetings for meetings about meetings that prep you for meetings.
She came downstairs in your favorite lingerie, you know the one she wore when she was role-playing as your mistress of sexual domination and walked right over to you started slowly, sensually, kissing on your neck then down the rest of your body.
She straddled you and began riding your excitement like its sophomore year on spring break after a night of tequila sunrises and corona's.
Where had she gone?
Had she died?
No, she's just "tired".
I learned this concept through my reading of Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. The meaning of the word "transmute" is, in simple language, "the changing, or transferring of one element, or form of energy, into another." To further define it, its the switching of the mind from thoughts of physical expression, to thoughts of some other nature.
You know when men get to be in their fifty's they start spending a ton of time in the garage working on cars. They are extremely amped to cut the grass, wash the cars, and build stuff.
Typical mid-life crisis right.
Well, they might not realize what's happening. They have so much energy because they are no longer thinking about or engaging in sex so they come up with something else to occupy their time or target their energy.
That's a redirection of sex energies.
What you will notice is their new level of concentration and focus that leads to above average achievement levels.
When your wife is not letting you release your sexual energy, and it can be frustrating, but relationship suicide is not the way.
Instead, focus all that extra energy to achieve a goal that you may have been in the back of your mind. If you focus your energy on that idea instead of releasing the sexual energy you will be able to achieve more!
Stop focusing on the physical.
You completely missed this concept while watching Think Like A Man.
When two people meet, in whatever capacity, the "Bar of Equality" is set, meaning you see eye-to-eye. It doesn't matter that you're a Doctor and they're a fry cook. Let's say one of you got a promotion or gain a new perspective, one of you is growing. The reciprocal of that is one of you is remaining to stagnate or at least not growing at the same rate. Metaphorically speaking the one growing can see over the head of the other. That translates to being able to see a whole new class of people that you couldn't see before. This could mean relationship potential for friendships or lovers.
What should happen is that the person that is growing is to help the other grow as well. When this doesn't happen you grow apart. At this point, you either stay in an unhappy situation which both parties stop growing because their energies are attracting, not propelling. Or you leave and by leave, that means you find a new relationship or new group of friends. I'm not saying you have to be doing the same things but appreciate and embrace the changes a person makes in life.
Do y'all remember Think Like A Man? There was a Dreamer and an "Independent Woman". She wants to be a boss so bad that she initially doesn't think she could be happy with a Dreamer. She leaves him for someone who thinks similar to her. She, later on, realizes how she treated him. She didn't understand or appreciate his dreams until his dreams became a reality that she could see or be a part of. There initial break-up was a result of them not growing at the same rate. She eventually learns to appreciate him and it's happy-ever-after. That's the part of their battle that you didn't catch and now you're equipped with the tools to understand the storyline of all your relationships.
You meet a guy and you think the world of him. He's around when you're up and when you're down. He's your shoulder to cry on. His house is your safe haven. His arms protect you. He listens attentively to all of your gripes about the world.
You for some reason placed him in the friendship zone.
Instead of you giving him the title of boyfriend or husband, he's relegated to bestie.
Does that sound familiar?
What this guy is trying to show you because he isn't bold enough to tell you is that he's the one for you.
He’s a good guy. Here’s a good one, she’s a good girl. Have you ever heard those words before?
Whos lips vibrated to generate the sounds that when translated equated to those statements?
Chances are it was your “best friend” as they were introducing the two of you.
Think back to those carnival nights where the temperature was about a cool eighty-eight. You’re having the time of your life. You know these are the making of memories that are going to last a lifetime.
Then one day you’re at your friends' house feeling nostalgic, so you pull out those moments. Your senses are aroused as though the images are live.
You start to notice a recurring theme hidden deep within each pixel.
Ignore your thoughts. Keep looking at the pictures.
It's like watching a train about to wreck, you can’t look away.
Can’t shake the thought.
This thought could make things extremely awkward. It could ruin the relationship.
But you have suffered so many failed relationships and they have been there the entire time.
Nah I’m losing it, you think to yourself.
There has to be a way to see if they’re thinking the same thing.
You gather all the courage you can muster. Ignore that feeling in your gut. Settle your breathing that’s racing like Dale in a Nascar race.
Your lips utter the words, “why haven’t we dated”.
Their response shocks you.
They react as though the door to the pearly gates have been opened and they are being welcomed by God himself.
They play it cool and say “I don’t know, it could work”. That leads to a bunch of follow-up comments confirming how perfect the two of you have been for each other. You both are painting and believing the beautiful dream.
You guys go out for your first official date. Y’all have been to this spot a thousand times. It’s your spot. You share extremely passionate emotions that night. In the morning everything appears to be all good.
Your first argument and a situation from the past gets thrown in your face. You quickly realize that you experienced that incident with someone else. To make things worse they’re throwing it in your face as if it were them, but instead, it was with someone they hooked you up with.
Those pictures in which you were the focal point is now creepy. Your mind re-images everything you thought was nostalgic.
The lens gets wider.
You recognize all the moments and comments with something that was just slightly off-color.
You think about every failed relationship and how they were always right there to comfort you.
They always had exactly what you needed when you needed it.
You wonder how did they know? Boom you wake up and now know all those relationships ended or started because of them.
They punished you for not recognizing them in the first place.
You're perfect for each other. If you do not see this as a term of endearment it will ruin the relationship, friendship, or whatever it is you believe you have. It will cause severe trust issues because the vale was kept up for so many years. That person should be your best friend and continue to be your best friend after the Officiator at your elaborate wedding has named you'll husband and wife.
Have you experienced best-friend sabotage or bliss, let me know in the comments below.
If you can't beat em', join em' is such a simple cliche that says a lot.
Men think in terms of fighting or competition.
Alpha males always want to prove who's Alpha, so we fight each other.
Ever wondered why men fight and then it's over; it's because Alpha males do this instinctively. This will happen every time someone wants a shot at the throne, we're competitive that way.
Walking up to you to simply say hi creates this crushing feeling in our stomach.
It's like free falling from 200 hundred feet or about to get into a fight with that bully at 2 o'clock.
Let's focus on the bully. Whether you realize it or not you're that bully to us.
Imagine being in the ring on a Saturday night only to realize your opponent is Floyd, Mohammed, or Iron Mike.
That is enough to stifle any fire or desire that guy may have for you, so he never approaches. Those amongst us who are tough enough or at least can deal with the feeling for a few seconds until the first punch is thrown, approach.
That's who you potentially want in your life.
The bell goes off we walk across that ring and say hi.
You say hi back
Well, folks, we got ourselves a fight comments the announcer or the mouse turning the wheel in our heads. Now we go back and forth in the battle of verbal discourse.
Round one in the books we exchange info.
Let's say in round one I went for the knockout and you go down.
We've just had sex, 10 count fights over!
If you absorb the punch then I have to come back out for another round, and another.
Every time we meet, consider that as another round.
A championship fight is 12 rounds.
If we both lasted 12 rounds we're going to know each other really well. You're going to know my tendencies and I'm going to know yours.
Hell Rocky and Apollo became best friends. The harder the fight the more respect and appreciation is gained.
I'm not going to want to go through that again.
If you're as tough or tougher than me let's join forces! If you can't beat em' join em'.
You may not know boxing but you know what you're going through. What you need is a better coxch to teach you the skills necessary to win. The championship belt might not fit your body but it will fit your finger.
Men should be tough enough to approach you. If he's tough enough to approach you then he passes the sniff test. Then you make us invest cash, whether that be physical or mental cash doesn't matter.
Mental cash is always better.
It's like student loans you can't get rid of it.
You have to know that approaching an abnormally beautiful woman like yourself is like going into a fight with one of the greats. That why so few actually do it. Let the fight go twelve rounds and I bet the appreciation you have for one another will be completely different than what you're used to.
All men want their investments to appreciate or gain value. If it comes for free there is no investment. As soon as it's not appreciating then it's time to get rid of it.
Whether you realized it or not you have seen Subconscious Paranoia.
Have you ever been walking down the street there are only three people within a distance you, him, and her?
As you approach you look at him and then you look at her.
As you get closer you see him grab her hand or put his arms around her.
What you just witnessed is Subconscious Paranoia. If you want to hear me talk about it, check that out here.
The reason this happens is he is claiming her as his girl. He's only claiming her as his girl in relation to you.
If a woman is walking next to a man the assumption is that the two of them are already in a relationship.
If the assumption is the standard, then why did he make that move.
Its because there is a lack of confidence. This lack of confidence is in himself, and you.
You're walking down the street, then he sees you. You watch him put his arm around her.
If you were a threat that he felt, he could handle, he would find a way to maneuver you behind himself. Then he would be in a position to fend you off, should you attack.
All he does is put his arm around her in his weak attempt to claim her.
He will make that move as though you could steal her from him in the two seconds you passed each other.
That's a clear lack of confidence in both himself and her.
You will experience subconscious paranoia when your girlfriend, wife, whatever gets dressed to go out with or without you.
You feel her outfit is inappropriate.
Let's say you'll are getting dressed to go to dinner. Nothing is hanging out and everything fits well, but you still feel her outfit is inappropriate.
Why is that?
It's because of how you, at one point, viewed other women.
This forces you to feel that every man is looking at her the same way you once looked at other women.
She absolutely does!
She didn't even notice him walking down the street, she's into you.
When you do that you alert her that there is a male more Alpha than you.
Prior to that, she thought you were and that's why she chose you. Because you grabbed her you feel like that guy is more Alpha than you. If you didn't think he would be attracted to her you wouldn't have done that either.
It's all about energy.
That's not anything new.
His energy met your energy and he overpowered you. So you knew he was more Alpha.
When you grabbed her you broke her attention.
She looks down to see your hands fumbling to grab hers. Since she's not used to you doing that she looks down. You alerted her that the extra energy wasn't yours so she looks up.
She now sees the person with more energy than yourself.
Her inquisitive self now wants to find out about him. Relationship over.
Don't do that schit! If you're already guilty of that stop doing that schit now! You can't fill her bucket and you know that. If you did you would be more than confident that you were all she could handle. You have to do one of two things.
It could be that you were cheated on in the past so you're worried that it's going to happen again. If you worry about it happening again you're going to create the situation and circumstances for it. If you have low self-esteem. Figure out what happened to cause the issue and then reframe that issue, change your vantage pointe. Or.
This is a result of how you got her. So if you spend tons of money on her and you know you can't keep up, her bucket is not going to remain full. If you got her for some other reason than what you truly want then you won't fill her bucket.
Beauty, is it in the eyes of the beholder or the mirror?
You wake up and the first thing you do is go into the bathroom and reach for the toothbrush.
You know I mean after you spend thirty minutes Instagrammin or Facebookin.
Before you put toothpaste on the brush, you take a quick glance in the mirror.
That quick glance turns into a long gaze as you notice every blemish on your face through your mucus encrusted eyes.
You splash water on your face, dig the gunk out of your eyes, only to come to the realization that the blemishes are still there.
Now you're stuck attempting to gain the approval of the mirror.
“Magic mirror, on the wall - who is the fairest one of all?” You repeat that mentally every time you pass a mirror and you feel obligated to ask the question.
First, those blemishes are only noticed by you because you perceive them to be there. We don't notice them or better yet, they're not there. You're beautiful but you don't believe that because the mirror hasn't told you yet.
Public Service Announcement:
The mirror will never tell you that. The beholder in the cliché' is you. You only need the mirror to make sure the toothpaste is off your chin and not on your shirt.
You're never going to gain the favor of the mirror if you don't control what you see.
If what's behind your eyes never believes that you're perfect you will never be perfect.
Understand the mirror confirms whatever you tell it to confirm. Tell yourself you're losing weight, really believe it, then look into the mirror and I guarantee the mirror will oblige.
When you look into the mirror you are met with a barrage of flaws. You are so critical of yourself. The world is not as important as we want it to be. I know it may be difficult but let the world see and feel your inner glow. That makeup actually hides your true beauty.
Are you fiscally responsible with love?
It does not matter what business you enter they all should start similarly.
"The only way to learn to swim is to get into the water".
When you jump into the game you have to keep in mind that everything escalates or grows.
In business, you should invest very little in the beginning. This approach will allow you to be in the game without much loss to you, should you have to disembark from that business. Then once you're in the game you learn the game. Learning while participating is called real education. The more you understand the game the more you can invest providing that you can reasonably guarantee a return on your investment (ROI). Now that you understand the game, receiving a decent ROI you can invest more into the business.How does this relate to love?
Initially, you should be investing more mental cash than physical cash. At the beginning of any relationship, you should be spending more time than money.
When you invest too much at the beginning when the relationship begins to escalate or grow you will not be able to keep up with the pace.
If you can't keep up with the pace the relationship will end.
If your first date is to Ruth Chris (a high-end restaurant) for a steak, Applebees won't cut it. If you take her Applebees that would mean that you already don't treat her like you used too.
If you give him sex very early in the relationship because you wanted to keep him and you're not that sexually insatiable, you already don't treat him like you used to.
In business and in relationships you have to pace yourself.
You want to know why athletes, movie stars, billionaire tycoons can't keep one wife, it's because they invested too much physical cash in the beginning.
These men have expanded the buckets of these women and they can't keep it filled.
Expanding her bucket with premium energy, love, allows for a healthy escalation.
Some women go from one star to the next, not because they're gold diggers.
Negotiating love is easy once you first understand how to negotiate.
In any negotiation, you have two or more parties that are willing to sacrifice something in order to gain something.
In most cases, one party has something that they do not care for but the other party cares about.
I give you time and for my time you give me money. Time, in this scenario, is worth the money that you are giving me, so I agree.
If you are in sales you are generally looked at as being sleazy or conniving in some way.
If you have to sell something you feel bad for doing it even if it's going to earn you money. You would rather give it away than sell it.
The feeling of sleazy, remember.
You don't feel this way when someone asks where are we going out to dinner and you say Ruth Chris has those steaks that they top with melted blue cheese that almost tastes like a desert, it's worth the $125 price tag.
Or if you are carb-loading bro you can go to Red Robin and take full advantage of bottomless french fries or even better sweet potato fries with the confectionery sugar.
You have just sold both bottomless fries and steaks without being paid. Most people take this approach to life.
You are about to close the deal.
Do you really understand the contract?
Do you know how long this deal is supposed to last?
Are you confident that you are getting what you want for what you are willing to give up?
You must understand the details of the contract. The fine print is really important.
Make sure that you understand the product or business you are about to purchase.
If you do not you're guaranteed to lose money or get swindled on the deal. This is like someone trying to sell me a cow, but they are giving the milk to me for free. There is no need for me to buy the cow unless buying the cow presents some other benefit other than milk.
When making this deal the product or business you are buying should appreciate in some way.
The deal should never be based on desperation or impulse. Those deals cloud your judgment.
If your judgment gets clouded then the deal becomes more about what you're "winning" instead of gaining. Like Mr. Wonderful, Kevin O'Leary says "if it doesn't pay dividends, don't own it".
What does this have to do with Love? Everything.
Bryson Tiller's Exchange is a contract. Let's put it to the test.
In step #1 he has to know what he wants to gain and what he is willing to sacrifice for it.
He wants "all" of you and for this, he is willing to sacrifice me.
Step #2 he needs to recognize he's in the business of sales.
He advertises by saying the words directed at her through his music that's played everywhere. He obviously knows he's in sales.
Step #3 Fully understand the contract.
Here's where things get tricky. He fully understands the contract, but do you?
He wants "all" of you for "me".
"Me" represents a part of him but not the whole.
If he wanted to sacrifice all of himself for all of you then he would have said that in the contract, but it wasn't. It was implied. Which is misleading.
Once the contract is signed he will expect you to hold up your end of the bargain and he will do the same.
Only you won't be getting what you thought you negotiated for.
You violated Step #3. If any step is violated then you can guarantee that in Step #4 nothing will be appreciating you will not be receiving any dividends. If you don't trash the product you will be paying into a pit or lemon.
Every relationship in your life should follow the four contract rules of negotiation. Relationships get sleazy all the time because we misunderstand the contract. I'm here if you need help understanding your contractor how to better negotiate love.
Men get caught cheating the same way women do.
The root cause of cheating is energy!
In order for the relationship to work, the energy must be balanced.
What that means is that your nozzle can handle the exact amount of energy she needs to fill her bucket and vice versa.
This is a lot to read so you can listen to what I have to say here.
You start out dating.
If you couldn't fill her bucket with you own premium energy then you had to add something physical to it.
This displaces the energy giving it the appearance of being full.
You may be taking her shopping, buy jewels, clothes or shoes.
When you can't keep this up her bucket won't be full.
When you can't fill her bucket she appears to be growing or at least her confidence.
Now that she's growing or gaining confidence Y'all no longer see eye-to-eye.
She can see a whole new class of guys that she couldn't see before.
Now that you can't fill her bucket she needs the energy that you can't or is not providing, so she cheats.
If he's not the man of that household he will cheat because he will find a household to be the man of.
If he has too much energy, if he can't find a way to release it, he will cheat.
She can't handle all of your energy so you will find someone who can handle the extra energy that he has. He will find an Eleanor.
Their mind created the circumstance and situations to get caught!
Cheating is simply a result of needing to release or receive energy.
You cheated as a result of needing to release.
All Nappy Dugouts are basically the same with a different package.
On top of that, there is no need for a woman to ejaculate, so that rules out women as a root cause of your cheating.
You're addicted to the release.
It doesn't have to be the release of sexual energy alone, it can be both.
The other [main] reason why you cheated is a lack of confidence.
You let your confidence choose your mate. If you were confident in yourself when you chose her you would have chosen the person you thought was the absolute best!
You chose a woman based on your confidence at the time. Then through whatever means it could be a job promotion or simply the fact that you’re attracting a different class of woman. We all know that once other women realize you have the ability to fill a bucket, they want you to fill their bucket.
Having new found confidence in your ability to fill buckets means she’s upgraded you. They're coming to you, and you have old faithful at home, you’re super confident!
You might not admit this one but it’s cool.
If you aren’t the man of your household you will find a household to be the man of.
You want to release love so that she makes you feel that you’re loved.
If you can’t release love she makes you feel like something other than love.
When you feel like something other than love you create regular energy, which you, in turn, fill her bucket up with.
Then you go off searching for a bucket to release love into, that bucket that you release love in to will be the bucket of the woman who made you feel like you were the man and not in just a sexual way. You feel alive and you make her feel alive the only problem is that she’s not your significant other.
After you’re done test driving random cars, you come home fill your woman up with partially love and partially something other than love.
That something other than love gives her the clue that something is different.
You have been filling her up with premium (love) and super octane (sexual energy) the entire time you’ll have been together.
That premium gets mixed with a splash of regular (something other than love). It’s noticeable like diet vs. regular coke.
That splash of something different comes because you’re constantly thinking about the other person and how good she felt.
You constantly think about the other woman and how good she felt. This creates the circumstances and situations for you to get caught cheating.
To watch or not to watch porn, that is the question.
Let's go back in the day.
When you were young naked bodies didn't come easily.
You had to watch National Geographic the show or the magazine to look at females naked.
There was always soft porn and that is if you had cable.
If you didn't have cable you had to try to capture the look between the different colors of squiggly lines, that wasn't fun.
So what are you left with?
Finding your dad's VHS tapes which was dangerous.
The only way for you to get a peek is to go out and talk to girls.
Touching yourself although natural didn't get the job done because you were always wondering what girls felt like.
For some, your inquisitive mind came early and thus led to early experimentation.
The point is this: you had to learn to talk to girls if you wanted to get your feelings wet.
With the introduction of internet porn this is available whenever, where ever, you get the feeling. You're supposed to go talk to a girl but because of internet porn, you can avoid it.
This is because of a unique feature of our brain called visualization.
With the visualization, you can place yourself in the shoes of the guy and pretend you are him in the video.
If you start out this way when you can't handle his weight it will create anxiety, gun shyness or worst of all an addiction.
These tapes create scenarios in which the guy talks the girl into doing crazy things.
You're not learning anything from that.
I mean you can learn technique but that only works if you practice it.
That, in my opinion, is the point of porn, ideas that lead to practice.
Ladies you aren't excluded from this conversation.
You have another form of porn it's called social media.
You stay up to the second on all these sites.
There are your friends who paint this picture of a perfect relationship, which you desire.
There are your friends spewing all of their hate towards men, which you empathize with.
Oh and there's the women who constantly update these sites with quotes of what they want, how they want it, and what they will do when they get it.
You're on these sites like they are the new soap opera, this does not help you in the field.
You're looking at all your friends being married off, courted off, and you're saying to yourself why can't that be me.
Forcing relationships that aren't relationships because you think you are in one based on the clues Facebook gives in a post about the 100 ways to know you're in a relationship.
YOU'RE NOT IN ONE because your expectations are too high based on this misinformation.
You want a guy who drives a Maserati, has his own business and whatever else you determine materialistically that is enticing based on what the internet porn social media site of your choice tells you.
You have to leave your house or lift your head out of the phone for men to know your gorgeous.
Porn, whether on the internet or social media, sets unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should be all about. Because of the porn you watch you think that two seconds after talking to her she's supposed to open her legs and start doing all this freaky shit or you think that's supposed to be the making of a great relationship.
The art of selling dreams is not a new concept, I'm just explaining it.
How do I get such a stronghold on the emotional trigger?
This is where a lot of women have problems, you listen too much.
When we meet you tell me all about you.
I know how many brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews you have. Depending on how deep I let you go I may find out about how you were disciplined as a kid. I learn all about your parents. You teach me where they are from, there’s as well as your education level. Expressing your views on various subjects I begin to learn how your mind works. You teach me all this within the early moments of our chance meeting.
What am I to do with all this information?
If you prefer to listen check out my thoughts here.
Initially, I keep the information in order to determine the likelihood of a successful relationship.
However, if you never stop to find out about me, you guessed it, I have to punish you for it.
The information you gave me now become bullets in the gun with my finger on the trigger.
Now it's my turn to add to the conversation, but I don’t add any substance.
The emotional trigger is something I hold dear to my heart.
I do not want to give you any ammunition at all costs unless I have deemed you worthy.
Which basically means you won’t use my weakness against me or I am made to feel safe. I avoid discussing me personally. We will discuss only surface stuff as it relates to me but core stuff as it relates to you unless you insist.
If you insist then I will take your number and we will discuss me further, later. This is what you want. You and I continuing to get to know each other. The operative word being “each”.
Now that I have been educated on your values and how they were derived, I have loaded the gun. I begin to utilize these values in the picture I paint of our future.
I understand that you don’t understand what I mean, so let me describe it.
You have a close family.
Your family has tons of fun together.
You tell me about your dreams of owning your own business.
I just listen, when it becomes my turn to talk I fast forward our life maybe five, ten or fifteen years to capture the emotions and bring them back to the present with me.
Utilizing the rhythm of the music or the nostalgic weather outside with the wind generating the point of reference for the future and the present.
I can picture us coming back to this same bar fifteen years from now.
Do you think this bar will be here fifteen years from now when we are celebrating our thirteenth anniversary?
Your favorite drink will still be the classic rum mint mojito.
Mango Key Lime Margarita is your favorite drink but Mojitos are your choice for the night.
Side Note to self: Have both Classic Rum Mint Mojitos and Mango Key Lime Margaritas on deck if you don’t get her home tonight. Remember to only bring it up no more than once more.
I continue the story by saying, “my bad” Mango Key Lime Margarita. I stop, look you dead in the eyes and say “I will never forget that again”.
Fifteen years from now the night will be perfect just like this one.
The only difference will be the people, which we don’t care about because the only two people that matter are you and I.
We will enjoy our outing because we come back every year, regardless of where we live in the world.
We will have to leave our family for a day or two to escape the madness and remember this is where it all started, on July 2nd, 2014. That would be cool huh?
It might not happen exactly like that, it's based on the adaptation to the conversation but the end result is the same.
In the picture, I painted we date for two years then get married, have a family together, which we leave behind each year where ever “we” are living to come back to the place "we" met.
If I can get her to visualize this happening, then once she wakes up she will have brought back fifteen years’ worth of emotion, although we just met.
I recognize her visualizing because she either sits there listening or adds to the dream.
It’s ok for us to share emotions (have sex) tonight because we are already sharing emotions in the future.
If you don’t stop me then, game over.
You never took the time to get to know me so in the morning you are punished and left with fifteen years of emotional baggage over one night.
Once this is implanted you can no longer tell when the inception actually was.
We met last night however you feel as though you have known me for years.
This technique can be done forwards or backward making it difficult to figure out when I was placed in your life.
If your past is most important to you then I will place myself back there and present myself as the guy you overlooked.
In this case, the future is more important because you told me about your dreams of the future, like owning your own business. Either way, I AM in control and can sell you anything I want.
This is messed up but it’s your punishment for not taking the time to get to know me.
If you took the time to get to know me then either you would have realized that the dream I was selling was empty or I would have decided that this dream, that we both saw, is something I desperately want to make happen for you.
This is how you feel so deeply in love so fast.
This placement of myself is how I will always have a place in your heart and you don’t know why.
The better the ammunition you give the deeper the bullets penetrate.
If you get to know me I risk both of us getting killed so therefore I play the game fair.
I really do want us both to win. All players really want both parties to win.
Time or timing is how you recognize the difference. It’s my job to convince you to leave the venue.
Men play chess not checkers. I AM a logistical genius. Unbeknownst to you I have mapped out the area and determined the most romantic locations or areas nearby. If it’s within walking distance perfect. If I get you to my home good, but not optimal.
Based on my story you have been madly in love with me for fifteen years and you can’t understand why I up and left you.
When I talk I AM speaking to your subconscious.
Imagine that story is the last thing you hear before you go to sleep. When you go to sleep all the blanks you want to be filled, get filled in with whatever you can imagine.
You cannot think like a man; you have to think like a woman. Protect your emotions like you would protect your offspring, with tenacity. Make sure I begin to deliver on my promise to fulfill your dreams before you believe them. The Art of Selling Dreams is mixing the lines between the show and tell. Dreams can quickly become nightmares.
You can't playa hate McLuvin is from the movie Superbad. Fogell gets a fake Id with that name. What's interesting is that he's cool but doesn't know it yet but he can't wait for the opportunity to prove it to people.
There are two types of beta males. I call one Lil Buddy and the other one McLuvin.
This post may get long so you can listen here.
When alcohol and emotions mix I call it the “Elixir”.
The elixir happens at the bar when you have pretty women and non-confident men.
That's a recipe for disaster, but it’s a great strategy.
Let me explain.
That guy we’ll call him Lil Buddy.
He’s a Beta male hanging with Alpha males.
He watches his friends talk to girls all night while he keeps drinking.
His success with girls is generally through the success of his friends. He makes the perfect wing-man.
He always shows up when you call but he’s never the guy calling.
Lil Buddy is now fully loaded (drunk) and the elixir is tricking himself into believing that he's confident.
Not confident in his experience with girls but his confidence in the art of fisticuffs.
Lil Buddy sees you talking to a girl that he wants but he doesn’t have the confidence to go over to her and say hi. So what does he do?
He finds a way to interrupt your conversation, hence the bar fight.
Depending on how long it takes the elixir to happen will determine how long this night goes on.
If he’s not entertained with women that his friends introduce him to then it’s just a matter of time before he’s going to figure out a way to interrupt a perfectly good night.
The reason nature is at fault is that nature has innately taught women to consider the making and protecting their offspring. In case you don’t understand women consider their children when in the baby-making process. This is the reason for the cliché mommy’s baby, daddy’s maybe.
Women, like lions, want to mate with an Alpha male. The likelihood of producing and protecting perfect offspring is at its highest.
The club scene creates an environment for Alpha males to meet. Club nights present an element of danger which is exciting and scary, which are two extreme ranges of emotions.
This is why it’s where the Alpha males and women wanting to be chosen are hanging out.
Given Lil Buddy’s newfound fisticuff confidence he’s going to pick out first who he sees talking to the girl he wants.
He’s not going to do this in front of her, but when they're separated he’s going to create a situation. He more than likely will attempt to find who he perceives as the most Alpha in the room.
The latter is the most likely scenario.
The reason for this being the most likely scenario is being in a room full of Alpha males the guy talking to the girl Lil Buddy wants is not going to leave her side. He might not get another chance.
So when the bar fight happens it’s a win-win for Lil Buddy and here’s why.
Lil Buddy, first of all, didn’t go to the bar by himself. Given that he has a “crew” he believes he has back up which creates a safety net for himself. This crew should stop the fight after he creates a ruckus but before the fight actually, happens.
This "loud argument" at this point is going to cause a big enough scene for them to be presented as the “bad boys” of the club. “Bad boys” being perceived as the most Alpha.
We already discussed the importance of being the most Alpha.
Let’s say this ruckus escalates into an actual fight.
When the fight breaks out if Lil Buddy wins then he’s instantly moved into the most Alpha position, or at least in the Alpha category, without him actually being an Alpha.
If he loses then he’s still considered an Alpha, and what’s worst is his appearance doesn’t matter.
He only lost because he was drunk or got picked on.
Nature has given women this innate instinct, it’s called maternity.
This means that when Lil Buddy is injured because he got beat up, instead of leaving him there for his friends to clean up, there is always some girl who decides he needs to be cared for.
Win-win for Lil Buddy.
Oh and get this, the Alpha that he picked is now looked at like he’s a violent bully when he was the one being picked on.
Since there is no such thing as bad publicity, the true Alpha is still going to win, just under different circumstances.
If you're unsure if Lil Buddy is your friend, count how many girls he actually initiates conversation with. Then watch how the night ends.
McLuvin is super cool.
McLuvin just wants to be down.
He just wants to be a part of the crew.
McLuvin comes around he knows all the women. He's their "little brother".
McLuvin will introduce you to all his female friends because he recognizes that if the Alpha males win, as long as he's apart of the coalition, then he can win too.
McLuvin is a blast to be around.
He doesn't press the issue with anyone.
He doesn't press the issue with women because they may never talk to him again.
McLuvin knows they're his gateway to the crew. He never pushes the issues with the crew for fear he may be exiled, so he remains cool.
You can't hate on McLuvin because if you do everyone will look at you crazy.
If you're unapproachable to McLuvin then most women will believe you're unapproachable to them.
They believe McLuvin is the gateway to the crew.
If you hate on McLuvin that means there is a whole class you will have to work to get access too when McLuvin was bringing them to you.
McLuvin is the man, cool as a fan.
Most women will think they're using McLuvin then when he gets married, they will see him differently.
No one, absolutely no one, can playa hate McLuvin.
For God to know his worth or value there must be MAN. In order for man to know his worth or value, there must WOMAN. For a woman to know her worth or value there must be a CHILD. First GOD then WOMAN. As a MAN we are the connecting factor that leads to how each of them knows their worth or value.
GOD knows that he is GOD because he created man. The man then gives his rib and plays his part in the reproductive process. Without man, either of these could not be possible. If you remove man GOD will still be GOD although he wouldn’t know his true power. Women and Children would not exist. It’s this Value System, which in recent days has become misconstrued.
Adam or man is created by God. This is how God knows that he is God. Then by removing a rib of Adam, he creates Eve or woman. They are besties, bff’s, or more plainly put best friends. So they were able to love each other in such a manner that is truly divine. They have no concept of each other. Meaning that Eve is unaware that Adam is a man. By this same token, Adam is unaware that Eve is a woman. God determined to keep order gave Adam one rule to follow. However, in order for God to give all things value, he has to give Eve a means to figure out her worth or value. She can’t plant the seeds; plow the field or perform any such act, nor should she have to. Adam knows this and treats her with nothing less than love. God has to give Eve children in order for her to have value. In order for this to take place, God has to remain reticent, and thus give you an option to learn that you are a part of him; with the choice to recognize that or not.
HE has to give her the means to figure this out for herself. So Eve was given an option to eat or not to eat from the tree. They eventually eat from the tree together. They did not know of children, how could they, but to deny her children would be to deny her value. Eve would never have known she was a WOMAN or a wounded man. The tree had to be there and they had to eat together in order for them to have knowledge of who they were.
The definition of perfect is being the best it can possibly be. What that means is that if there is an exact duplicate then that one is perfect. In this episode, I explain by talking about a pencil.
Always keep in mind that there is only one you. Since there is only one you that means you're perfect. It's only when you compare yourself to others that you can make up reasons why you're not perfect. I think it can take up to five people for you to think you're not perfect. You want someone else's butt, lips, arms, face, and hair. Think of it this way it takes at least five people to measure up to you.
Now that you know who you are and why you're here I hope you finally realize you're perfect!