Negotiating love is easy once you first understand how to negotiate.

In any negotiation, you have two or more parties that are willing to sacrifice something in order to gain something.

In most cases, one party has something that they do not care for but the other party cares about.

I give you time and for my time you give me money. Time, in this scenario, is worth the money that you are giving me, so I agree.

Step #1: Know what you want and what you are willing to sacrifice for it.

If you are in sales you are generally looked at as being sleazy or conniving in some way.

If you have to sell something you feel bad for doing it even if it's going to earn you money. You would rather give it away than sell it.

The feeling of sleazy, remember.

You don't feel this way when someone asks where are we going out to dinner and you say Ruth Chris has those steaks that they top with melted blue cheese that almost tastes like a desert, it's worth the $125 price tag.

Or if you are carb-loading bro you can go to Red Robin and take full advantage of bottomless french fries or even better sweet potato fries with the confectionery sugar.

You have just sold both bottomless fries and steaks without being paid. Most people take this approach to life.

Step #2: Recognize that you are in the business of sales.

You are about to close the deal.

Do you really understand the contract?

Do you know how long this deal is supposed to last?

Are you confident that you are getting what you want for what you are willing to give up?

You must understand the details of the contract. The fine print is really important.

Make sure that you understand the product or business you are about to purchase.

If you do not you're guaranteed to lose money or get swindled on the deal. This is like someone trying to sell me a cow, but they are giving the milk to me for free. There is no need for me to buy the cow unless buying the cow presents some other benefit other than milk.

Step #3: Fully understand the contract.

When making this deal the product or business you are buying should appreciate in some way.

The deal should never be based on desperation or impulse. Those deals cloud your judgment.

If your judgment gets clouded then the deal becomes more about what you're "winning" instead of gaining. Like Mr. Wonderful, Kevin O'Leary says "if it doesn't pay dividends, don't own it".

Step #4: Make sure all deals appreciate or pay dividends.

What does this have to do with Love? Everything.

Bryson Tiller's Exchange is a contract. Let's put it to the test.

In step #1 he has to know what he wants to gain and what he is willing to sacrifice for it.

He wants "all" of you and for this, he is willing to sacrifice me.

Step #2 he needs to recognize he's in the business of sales.

He advertises by saying the words directed at her through his music that's played everywhere. He obviously knows he's in sales.

Step #3 Fully understand the contract.

Here's where things get tricky. He fully understands the contract, but do you?

He wants "all" of you for "me".

"Me" represents a part of him but not the whole.

If he wanted to sacrifice all of himself for all of you then he would have said that in the contract, but it wasn't. It was implied. Which is misleading.

Once the contract is signed he will expect you to hold up your end of the bargain and he will do the same.

Only you won't be getting what you thought you negotiated for.

You violated Step #3. If any step is violated then you can guarantee that in Step #4 nothing will be appreciating you will not be receiving any dividends. If you don't trash the product you will be paying into a pit or lemon.


Every relationship in your life should follow the four contract rules of negotiation. Relationships get sleazy all the time because we misunderstand the contract. I'm here if you need help understanding your contractor how to better negotiate love.