Can you tell if a person has cheated up or down?

We can't tell because we can't see from their vantage point. Let me take a stab at understanding the logic.

The idea of cheating is the distance from where you start, call it your max.

Generally, when you choose a mate it's because you believe you're getting their max.

This means that she/he is the best you can attract. She will come with eighty percent of the things that you want in a mate.

The deviation from this is what I call cheating.

Women first

When you find a mate that becomes the baseline for the standard.

It could be as simple as this.

The first guy you get into a relationship with may have a car.

The next person you get into a relationship with, will at a minimum, has to have a car plus something, maybe a job.

You get what I'm saying.

The perception here is that you cheat up.

Men expand your bucket.

In order for it to get full, you have to attract more energy.

This gives the perception that you cheat up.


When you find a mate that is your max.

This means that she is the best thing you believe you can attract.

When you finally make the commitment that means that you have found everything you want all in one place.

You found a bucket that you can fill.

This assumes that you're confident and have already attracted an assortment of women and made a fair assessment.

The perception is that you cheat down.

Let me explain.

What made you decide that she was no longer the one?

A headache.

By a headache I mean it could be her infidelities, her nagging, her self-esteem, whatever.

If she is this way then all the women on her level must be this way.

So you move down a notch in order to deal with less headache - cheating down.

Women and Gents

We resolve this issue by having "game".

Having "game" allows you to attract your mate based on your minimum.

It's "game" because you have to convince them that you're maxed out when you're not.

At a minimum, you're already everything they want and need.

There's plenty of room to grow because they have not seen your full potential.

You'll think your mate is smart, pretty-faced, well-bodied, well-groomed, home trained, and a family person.

In reality, they are much, much, more.

She liked you when she thought you were broke, imagine how she's going to feel when she finds out you're not.

He liked you when he thought you weren't domesticated, imagine how he's going to feel when he finds out you are.


Men pick women based on their max confidence. When the relationship gets into trouble or becomes too much for him to handle so he steps down a notch - cheating down.

Women pick men based on a baseline. As a man builds her confidence, expands her bucket, she needs more energy - cheating up.

You have to attract your mate based on your minimum. That way you appreciate in value.