The Chains of Love & Attachment Theory

Alright, folks, hold onto your hats. I'm about to blow your mind with something I call the Chains of Love, a concept tied closely to my Attachment theory. Hear me out.

Emotional Attachments: The Universal Truth

We all have emotions tethered to something. Think of your favorite song, movie, or year. Ask yourself, "why is it my favorite?" The answer will probably be something comforting, a memory or an emotion.

Theory Explained: Emotional Triggers and Changing Vests

Now, let me lay it down for you. There are two ways to look at it: you've already got something that is your favorite and I attach myself to that, or I give you something to associate me with. All I need is a moment. A moment that will resonate with you unless replaced by another. I call this emotional trigger and changing vests.

Illustrative Scenario: Experiencing the Chains of Love

Let's walk you through an example. Picture yourself in an evening gown, at a beauty pageant. The slow jam, Brian McKnight's "Back at One", filling the air. You chose that song, and I pick up on that because it must mean something to you. Maybe it was your dad's favorite song as he and your mom danced in perfect harmony.

The Emotional Imprint: Tying it All Together

Fast forward, and you're at my place, five songs deep into a session of musical roulette, and guess what comes up? Brian McKnight's "Back at One". Our laughter fills the room, our smiles meet, and our flirtatious banter rides the rhythm of the song. I offer you a drink, leaving you alone with the song, stirring the cocktail of past and present.

Culmination: The Chain Effect

The next song is overtly sexual, and again, I notice your attentiveness. I ask why you chose that song but cut you off by moving closer. Our hearts race, filling you with a raw, primal instinct for love, like when Neo saved Trinity in The Matrix. This moment marks the difference in our future. Now, emotionally, I have been part of your life since the moment that song imprinted on your heart... I am now chained to your emotions, and you have to start back at one.

Wrapping Up: Assistance and Final Thoughts

I hope this elucidates my theory on emotional attachment. Remember, don't hesitate to reach out if you need help with any relationship matters, drop a comment, shoot me an email, or stay tuned.

Sign-Off: Being Gloriously Selfish

And always remember, be gloriously selfish. Let your joy radiate, inspiring others to view themselves the same way. "If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points:

1. The Chains of Love: A theory about emotional attachment to memorable moments and things.
2. Emotional Trigger & Changing Vests: The mechanism by which emotions are attached and swapped between people.
3. Significance of Music: Music as a powerful trigger for emotional memories and connections.
4. Attachment in Action: An example of how attachment theory works in practice, using music as a conduit for emotional bonding.
5. Be Gloriously Selfish: Emphasizing the importance of personal happiness, which can inspire similar positivity in others.

A Rise of a New Class of Women

Ladies and gentlemen let's discuss a new kind of Sorority that's been making waves lately. "Bad Bitch" has emerged as a class, a self-identifier for women who own their strengths, their beauty, their "confidence", their feminine, and their so-called sexual thirsts.

The Gender Tug-of-War

Here's where things get interesting. Men have always been regarded as the "bad boys, or dogs" and now women feel the need to one-up them by self-identifying as "bad bitches". More baffling is that men are seemingly attracted to these bad bitches. We need to start disregarding what the media pushes and begin making conscious decisions about what we truly want.

The Packaging Dilemma

Still puzzled? Let me elaborate. What do you prioritize when choosing a mate? From my observations, a majority of women prefer the "bad boy", determined mainly by his appearance - his "packaging". Similarly, most men are drawn to a pretty face and attractive body. But is this superficial criteria what we genuinely seek in a partner?

The Ideal Mate

Contrary to popular belief, I propose that what we genuinely desire isn't the "perfect face and body", but rather someone we can engage in intellectual and sexual discourse with - someone with the perfect mind.

The Aftermath of Wrong Choices

When we repeatedly fail at choosing the right person, we tend to give up entirely. For women, this often leaves you open to be chosen instead, and for men, desperation might lead to being more open to all women, not just the "bad bitches".

Debunking the "Bad Bitch" Stereotype

The "bad bitch" label carries a sexually charged notion, and the thought of it is animalistic, considering "bitch" refers to a female dog. But are we not above these base instincts? We wouldn't tolerate a misbehaving dog in our homes, so why would we choose partners based on these primal urges?

Time, the Ultimate Truth-Teller

Time is the only real measure of whether someone is truly a "bad bitch" or a "bad boy". With the right energy, transformation is possible. She might not be the right fit for one man but perfect for you, provided you channel the right energy.

Celebrity Transformations - A Case in Point

Many examples from the entertainment industry support this theory. Think about the men who passed on Jennifer Hudson, Mo'Nique, Jill Scott, or Queen Latifah. Likewise, women who rejected Anthony Anderson, Randy Jackson, Seth Rogan, or Reuben Studdard must have regrets.

Conclusion

The essence of my argument is simple: it takes time to find the right mind, but when you do, everything else will fall into place. "Bad dogs" get disciplined and left outside. So, ignore societal pressures and pursue what your heart genuinely desires.

Key Points:

1. Emergence of "Bad Bitch" as a self-identifier for women.
2. The packaging dilemma: the focus on physical attributes over mental attributes in choosing a mate.
3. The aftermath of wrong choices and the role of time in determining the "rightness" of a mate.
4. Transformation is possible with the right energy and mindset.
5. Encouraging individuals to ignore societal pressures and pursue what their heart genuinely desires.

Hey there, brave hearts! Ever wondered why your love life seems like a rollercoaster that only goes downhill? Let's untangle this mystery.

Taming the Rebel Heart

Fascinated by the wild side of love, aren't we all? You live this crazy, thrilling lifestyle because it sparks joy in your heart, just like that lightning bolt emoji you love to use. Yet, you find yourself drawn to someone totally opposite because, well, that's what they expect.

The world around you has expectations, huh? Your status in society comes with a manual for the 'right' partner. Does this sound familiar?

The Confidence Conundrum

It all boils down to one thing: Confidence. Yes, my friend, it's that simple and that complex. The partner you choose is a mirror of your confidence, and if you're too scared to embrace your true desires, that reflection gets blurry.

Ever had that thought? She must have been this wild and exciting for someone else. If she hadn't, you wouldn't be drawn to her. Simple logic, right?

Breaking the Chains

Here's where it gets interesting: You suppress your true feelings, choosing what you believe others want you to have. But hey, where's your happiness in this scenario?

Time to make a decision, folks. Love women who love women? Bring your partner home and introduce her as part of your family. It's your happiness on the line, after all.

Decisions, Decisions

What if you bring home her new BFF, and then you cheat on her or worse? Sounds like a twisted sitcom, doesn't it? But it's real life for some. True manhood is about making decisions, not wallowing in indecision.

Takeaways

1. Your Love, Your Rules: Don't let society dictate your romantic choices.
2. Confidence is Key: Your choice of partner reflects your confidence.
3. Be Decisive: Make choices that align with your happiness.

Unleashing the Genuine Love Game

Been parroting "fake it till you make it"? Time to drop that chant and introduce a new catchphrase: "Genuine Love Game". I touched upon the societal construct of boys playing with Barbie Dolls, Baby Dolls, and just being boys. That's where we learn to flex our muscles - strategy, dominance, competitiveness, camaraderie. But for those men who didn't participate in this instinctive training, they are on a different quest - they seek advice.

Playing Hitch - the Genuine Love Game Approach

If you're in the role of a Hitch remake, strategically aiming to win a particular lady's heart, then cheers to you! The fact that you're seeking advice on your genuine love game tells me you're aware of your boundaries, your identity, and your audacity to chase what you desire.

The Misguided Love Gladiators

For the others, who couldn't score in high school, college, or even life, anger becomes your companion. Recall our discussion on suppression theory - it's a revelation of what's happening within you. You've imprisoned those desires, turning from a victim to a Sensei. But if you're exploiting your power against the untrained, aren't you the new oppressor?

Your scoop and score record may have skyrocketed post-"training", but is that the essence of your genuine love game? Or are you just showcasing your might against the oblivious? Remember, your target isn't your past rejections, but an unsuspecting person who doesn't know your grip on her heart.

Genuine Love Game Runs on Premium Energy

Any man overflowing with the premium energy of love doesn't say, "She's drop-dead gorgeous, I want her for tonight". Your suppressed sexual energy is like a shaken soda can - ready to burst. It overpowers your normal state, pushing you into a tiresome loop. You charm her, unravel her emotions, while concealing yours. You reflect a machismo facade that you think women find irresistible. But it's a ticking time bomb because you can't keep pretending. You faked it till you made it, but what about your genuine love game?

Navigating the Genuine Love Game

If you need a compass in the labyrinth of love, I'm here. Leave a comment, tune in, or continue reading. And don't forget, be unapologetically selfish - because through your joy, others find their reflection.

Key Points

1. Childhood playtime impacts the adult genuine love game.
2. Seeking advice is strength, not weakness.
3. The repercussions of suppressed desires.
4. The pitfalls of a machismo facade in love.
5. How to improve your genuine love game.

Cracking the Duck Test in Love: A Guide for Better Relationships

Ever heard of the duck test? "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck, it must be a duck." Sound familiar? This instant 'logic' isn't just for bird identification - it plays a huge role in your romantic choices too. Baffled? It's high time we talk about 'heuristics', the mind's shortcut to solving complex problems.

Ladies, and the Duck Test in Love

You spot a dapper man, and your mind quickly tags him as clean, disease-free - looks like a duck, right? Maybe you see a man in a crisp suit, and you label him as someone important - talks like a duck, perhaps? The trickiest heuristic of all - men think with their "other head". That, my dear ladies, is oversimplifying a hugely complex process.

Gents, Duck Test isn't just for Ladies

Us gents also fall prey to the duck test in love. We lean on inductive reasoning – making decisions based on past experiences. Looks like a duck, talks like a duck, walks like a duck - has to be a duck. This evolutionary hangover influences not just our diet or workouts, but our approach to dating too.

The Battle-Ready Love Game

Let's be honest, we, men, care about self-preservation. Our survival ensures the tribe's survival. Every 'conquest' adds to our strategy, evolving it into a complex game. But beware, at some point, the lines blur between genuine feelings and the thrill of the chase.

Time - Your Best Ally in Love

Time is a magical salve. It provides a safe haven, a space to untangle energies. Love energy needs to precede sexual energy for a lasting relationship. Our 'fight or flight' response can often be mistaken for the "wrong head" thinking, but that subsides once we feel safe. Trust me, it's easier than it sounds.

Invest Time, Reap Love

Avoiding the pitfalls of the duck test in love calls for investing time in each other. The only thing that appreciates with time is real estate. Make sure your investment is in the right plot.

Trust me, this post has the potential to reshape your romantic world.

Need relationship guidance? I'm here for you. Comment, read on, or stay tuned.

And remember, it's okay to be selfish - your happiness can be the mirror others need to see their own.

"If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points

1. How the "Duck Test in Love" affects our romantic choices.
2. Understanding heuristic mapping and inductive reasoning in relationships.
3. The critical role of time in fostering genuine relationships.

Unraveling the Re-Lease Love Concept

Every relationship is a contract—a lease of love and commitment between two parties. However, like any contract, if one party isn't fulfilling their part or there's a miscommunication, it's time to rewrite the terms and "Re-Lease Love".

The Currency of Beliefs

Sounds like we're spinning a love fairytale? Let's discuss money to illustrate this concept of Re-Lease Love.

The world often believes that wealth only accompanies the corrupt or the exceptionally lucky—a lease signed between society and an erroneous belief. This contract essentially states: if I'm not wealthy, I'm not crooked or overly fortunate. It's time to revoke that lease!

Why? Because it's baseless—you're neither crooked nor excessively lucky just because you desire to be financially stable. It's time to re-negotiate the terms with your beliefs and sign a new lease—one that empowers and uplifts you.

The Dinner Date Dilemma

Imagine a couple who decide not to dine out often. Yet, at every opportunity, one of them suggests hitting their favorite restaurant. This inconsistency hints at a breached agreement—an opportunity to Re-Lease Love. Perhaps one of them assumed 'not often' meant 'not every weekend', while the other took it as 'never'. To restore harmony, they need to re-clarify and re-agree on the terms of their pact.

The Fight and Release Paradox

In a previous post, we highlighted that men release sexual energy through fights, while women receive it. Arguments serve a purpose—they're pressure valves for men and fillers for women's emotional reservoir. They're opportunities to Re-Lease Love and reach an emotional equilibrium. However, an argument without making up afterwards, in whatever form resonates with the couple, is akin to using a public restroom—you get temporary relief but not complete satisfaction.

Re-Leasing Love - 100% Accountability

The golden key to effectively Re-Lease Love? Absolute accountability. Understand your actions, the reasons behind your words, the triggers for your fights. When you take 100% responsibility, you can predict and possibly prevent recurring arguments. You unclasp your emotional nozzle, allowing love to flow freely. She removes the brick from her emotional bucket, becoming receptive to your love.

Key Points

1. Understand and apply the concept of Re-Lease Love.
2. Re-negotiate your agreements when required.
3. Use disagreements as opportunities to release and receive love.
4. Adopt 100% accountability to maintain a healthy emotional balance.

Unmasking the Hookup Dilemma

Does cupid ever strike in a hookup situation? It's as rare as a blue moon, and here's why.

The Illusion of the Perfect Match

When you're set up by a friend or stumble upon an attractive profile on a dating site, what you see is a polished representation—engaging, impressive, and tantalizing. And you know what we call it? The Hookup Dilemma.

Let me give you a sneak peek into my playboy past, not to brag, but to make a point. There was this lady I knew—let's call her Miss X. No romantic emotions between us, but I had a buddy who loved to mingle just like me. One day, playing the ultimate wingman, I introduced the idea of him to her, painting a picture of a man with quirks and qualities I knew would fascinate her.

The Dangerous Lure of Potential

Buckle up, because this is where we dive deep into the heart of the Hookup Dilemma.

When I introduced my friend to Miss X, I did it with a tantalizing twist—I painted his flaws as virtues. Yes, he was an ass, but according to my narrative, that was just a façade hiding his sensitive side.

Miss X fell head over heels for this image of him, feeding off the potential she thought she saw. She forgave his arrogance, reasoning that it was just a defense mechanism guarding his feelings. She treated him like a long-term partner, pampering him with gifts and acts of service.

Breaking the Bar of Equality

The real culprit behind the Hookup Dilemma is the breaking of the Bar of Equality. In our story, I unknowingly distorted this balance. By presenting an inflated image of my friend, I artificially raised the expectations, paving the way for her to fall in love with a potential that was far from reality.

The truth, but twisted in a deceptive frame—that's what I call "true lies". In the illusion of knowing him better, she was robbed of the chance to make an informed decision about his real personality.

This isn't just about one anecdote from my past. The same pattern is echoed in online dating sites and friends' hookups everywhere.

Key Points

1. Understand the Hookup Dilemma - the illusion of the perfect match.
2. Beware of the dangerous lure of potential.
3. Don't let the Bar of Equality be broken - keep expectations realistic.
4. Always remember, appearances can be deceiving.

Embrace the Art of Seduction: Sparks That Vanish Arguments

Ready to turn up the heat and banish those pesky arguments? Brace yourself as we dive into the captivating world of seduction. But first, let's set the stage with a quick recap.

Love Buckets and Energy: The Seductive Connection

You're already on board with the concept of love buckets for women and energy nozzles for men. It's time to explore how energy manifests itself in three enticing forms. Regular energy, the slow burner; premium energy, the love booster; and super high octane, the fiery fuel. Remember, seduction is all about harnessing this energy to create irresistible sparks.

Unleash the Seductive Powers: From Negative to Passionate

Picture this: you're feeling negative, a cloud of gloom surrounds you. But here's where seduction works its magic. Super high octane energy can intensify those negative feelings, turning them into a burning desire for connection. On the flip side, when you're fueled by love energy, super high octane becomes the catalyst that ignites passion like never before. It's a seductive dance of emotions.

The Battle of the Sexes: Seduction Unveiled

Men and women fight for different reasons, driven by their distinctive energy dynamics. Women seek arguments when their energy levels drop, craving a quick recharge. Think of those trivial arguments that erupt into something bigger—they're an attempt to refuel their love buckets. On the other hand, men with excessive energy need an outlet, leading them to fight, argue, or indulge in sexual encounters. It's a primal response seeking balance.

Seduction as the Solution: Intimacy to the Rescue

Ready for the secret weapon to end arguments? It's time to embrace the power of seduction—specifically, sexual intimacy. When you engage in passionate lovemaking, men release super high-octane energy while women receive it, translating into love energy. It's a delicate equilibrium that restores balance and dissipates tension. The effects are remarkable men become too relaxed to argue, and women are energized beyond the need for conflicts.

The Reset Button: Balancing Energy, Love, and Desire

In relationships, we need each other to find balance. It's like stepping into a puddle, soaking your socks. You feel a surge of frustration while trying to complete your tasks. Similarly, arguments arise when both partners are out of sync energetically. The key is to recognize that most arguments stem from external factors, not personal attacks. Instead of adding fuel to the fire, offer love and understanding, allowing your partner to release negative energy and refuel with love.

The Road to Bliss: Seductive Solutions

Ninety percent of arguments can be defused by recognizing external triggers and responding with love and compassion. Remember, you're a team, and your love for each other can conquer any challenges that come your way. So, indulge in a seductive dance, playfully filling each other's buckets with love energy. Find pleasure in the rewards of your efforts and let the passion between you reignite like never before.

Key Points to Remember

1. Seduction is the key to ending arguments and fueling passion.
2. Energy dynamics differ between men and women, leading to fights for different reasons.
3. Sexual intimacy is a powerful tool to restore balance and dissipate tension.
4. External factors often trigger arguments—offer love and understanding instead of fueling the fire.
5. Embrace seduction as a way to connect deeply and reignite the passion in your relationship.

Unveiling the Mysteries: Can We Determine Cheating Up or Down?

When it comes to assessing whether someone has cheated up or down, it's not an easy task. We cannot truly comprehend their vantage point. However, let's delve into the logic behind this concept and attempt to gain a deeper understanding.

The Starting Point: Choosing a Mate

In relationships, we often choose a partner based on the belief that we are getting their maximum potential. This means they possess about eighty percent of the qualities we desire in a mate. This baseline becomes the standard for our expectations.

Women: Expanding the Baseline

For women, finding a mate sets a new baseline. Let's say your first partner had a car. The next partner you choose must meet or exceed that baseline by having a car and something additional, such as a job. The perception here is that women cheat up, constantly seeking to expand their baseline and attract partners who offer more.

Men: Filling the Bucket

For men, the goal is to expand their "bucket" of energy by attracting more partners. This can create the perception that men cheat up. However, there's a twist. When men find a partner who aligns with their maximum potential, they commit, believing they have found everything they desire in one place. From this perspective, men cheat down when they step away from this committed relationship, seeking a partner who presents fewer challenges or headaches.

The Role of Game

Both men and women navigate this complex landscape by employing what we call "game." It involves presenting ourselves as the maximum version of what our potential mate desires, even if we haven't fully reached that potential. By attracting partners based on our minimum, we have room to grow and impress them with our hidden qualities. This way, they appreciate us more as they discover our full potential.

Appreciating in Value

Attracting a mate based on our minimum allows us to appreciate in value. As they initially perceive us as smart, attractive, and well-rounded, they are yet to witness our full potential. When they eventually discover our additional qualities, such as financial stability or domestic skills, their admiration and appreciation grow.

Understanding the Dynamics

Men tend to pick partners based on their maximum confidence level. However, when faced with relationship challenges or overwhelming situations, they may seek partners at a lower level to reduce headaches—cheating down. On the other hand, women establish a baseline and expand their energy bucket, seeking partners who offer more to meet their evolving needs—cheating up. Employing game allows both men and women to present their minimum potential, paving the way for growth and mutual discovery.

Key Points:

1. Cheating up or down refers to the perception of seeking partners who are either above or below one's initial baseline in a relationship.
2. Women often cheat up by expanding their baseline, seeking partners who offer more than their previous relationships.
3. Men cheat down when they step away from committed relationships to find partners who present fewer challenges or headaches.
4. Both men and women employ "game" to attract partners based on their minimum potential, allowing room for growth and impressing them with hidden qualities.
5. Attracting a mate based on one's minimum allows for appreciation in value as additional qualities are revealed over time.
6. Understanding the dynamics of cheating up or down can provide insights into mate selection and relationship dynamics.

Discovering Magnetic Attractions in Relationships

Do you ever wonder what makes a relationship sizzle with electric intensity? This isn't about caviar dreams and champagne kisses—it's about magnetic attractions, the unseen power that binds two hearts together.

The Sexy Truth about Expectations in Relationships

You meet someone who sets your pulse racing, they seem perfect—just like Ken or Barbie straight out of a dreamy playset. But here's a little secret, hotshot—perfection is a mirage. People are perfectly imperfect, and that's what makes us real, that's what fuels the magnetic attractions.

Ladies, if you've found a guy who's less than your Ken but has a future that shines brighter than a diamond, don't hesitate. His ambitions can light up your world if you let them.

Gents, you might want to impress the lady on your arm with a lavish steak dinner and expensive wine on your first date. But remember, the magic isn't in the price tag—it's in the shared laughter, the lingering glances, the magnetic attractions between you.

The Art of Balance in Relationships: Minimum vs. Maximum

Let's talk about balance, my darlings. It's the sexy tightrope walk every couple must master. Start with your minimum, but make it feel like a maximum. It's like a tantalizing striptease, slowly revealing your full potential.

The Truth about Gold Diggers and Players

Picture this—you're at a swanky bar, and you spot someone dressed to the nines, exuding an aura of luxury. Gold digger? Maybe. Or just someone with a vast capacity for love? Men, this is a woman with an ocean-sized bucket needing your love energy to fill it.

And ladies, ever met a man oozing charisma, the life of every party, a true player? He's not a villain; he's simply a man bursting with energy, waiting for the right bucket to pour his love into.

Key Points

1. Discover and foster your magnetic attractions.
2. Manage expectations in relationships—perfection is a myth.
3. Balance your minimum with their perceived maximum for continued growth.
4. "Gold diggers" and "players" are just labels—every person is a universe unto themselves.

Understanding Feminism: More Than a Dictionary Definition

Beyoncé, in her concerts and music, often tries to redefine feminism for her audience, bringing the concept into the mainstream. However, it's essential to delve deeper into the true meaning of feminism and its implications.

Men, Women, and the Energy They Produce

One of the underlying themes of feminism is equality. However, equality doesn't mean exact replication. Women cannot duplicate the specific energy that men produce, nor should they try. Likewise, men cannot replicate the unique energy that women embody. It's about recognizing the inherent value each gender brings to the table, rather than trying to make one fit into the mold of the other.

The Power of Creation: The Real Strength of Women

Feminism often gets misinterpreted as a call for women to shed traditional roles and adopt ones that society has historically reserved for men. However, this overlooks the fact that the power of creation, of bringing life into this world, is a uniquely feminine strength. Instead of downplaying it, we should celebrate this capability.

The Shift We Need: From Patriarchal to Matriarchal Society

Throughout history, we see remnants of the feminine touch in our cultural and societal structures. From art to language, all things considered feminine have survived the passage of time. Perhaps it's time to rethink our societal structures. Instead of a patriarchal society that places men at the top, we should consider shifting towards a matriarchal society, valuing and emphasizing the feminine aspects of creation and nurturing.

Feminism: The Misunderstood Concept

Is not about separation or devaluation, but about recognizing and appreciating the value of women in society. Feminism calls for an understanding that the ability to create life is not worthless but priceless. It's about fostering a society where women's worth is recognized and respected, where they're encouraged to protect and cherish their unique capabilities.

The Numbers Game: Reimagining Equality

At first glance, one might see men as more productive in terms of the ability to procreate, given that a man can father many children in a year while a woman can typically bear only one. However, this perspective fails to take into account the incredible journey of pregnancy and childbirth that women undergo. It’s not about quantity; it’s about the quality and profundity of the experience.

The True Meaning of Feminism: Love, Not Competition

Ultimately, the term "feminist" should not be viewed as a divisive label but as a symbol of love and unity. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie poignantly put it, "Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes". This belief should not pit men and women against each other but should promote mutual respect, understanding, and love.

Remember, always be authentically selfish, and by witnessing your happiness, others can envision the same for themselves. “If you can’t see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points

Feminism:

1. Emphasizes the unique strengths and capabilities of women rather than trying to replicate men's roles.
2. Calls for a societal shift towards valuing and emphasizing the feminine aspects of creation and nurturing.
3. Should promote love and unity, not competition, among genders.

An Unusual Wordplay: Unraveling 'Cumpromise'

Get your mind out of the gutter - this isn't about what you might be thinking! 'Cumpromise' is an interesting blend of the Latin word 'cum', which means 'and' or 'with', and the English word 'promise'. Just as 'cum' in Latin brings together two nouns, 'cumpromise' serves two purposes: it encapsulates the two perspectives within a relationship, and represents the concept of mutual agreement.

His and Her Perspectives: A Tale of the 'Popular Junkie' and the 'Homebody'

You might see yourself as a 'Popular Junkie', someone who thrives in social situations, basking in the energy of a crowd without necessarily needing to be the center of attention. On the other hand, your partner might be a 'homebody', who finds comfort in the warmth of family, friends, and familiar surroundings. Initially, this contrast might not be evident or troublesome, as you find common ground in shared environments, such as a lively home full of roommates or small gatherings with mutual friends. The shift from 'lost' to 'lust' to 'love' in the relationship brings you two closer, and you find joy in the constant companionship. But, the harmony starts to fade as the relationship transitions into a more committed phase.

Unveiling the Rules: The Evolution of Relationship Dynamics

The problem arises when the 'love phase' introduces new 'rules', particularly from your partner who prefers the comfort of home over the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Your once-adventurous outings dwindle to rare occurrences, and when you do get the chance to go out, you find yourself soaking up every moment, unsure of when the next opportunity will arise.

So, where did it all go wrong? Did anyone misrepresent themselves throughout the phases of the relationship? Not necessarily. The issue lies in differing perceptions and expectations.

Finding Balance: The Path to 'Cumpromise'

In the initial phase of the relationship, when you spent time at your partner's home, you enjoyed the social aspects, while she cherished the homey vibes. She viewed you as a reformed social butterfly, content with quieter surroundings, while you saw the socializing as an extension of your outgoing persona. As the relationship evolved, these contrasting perspectives created friction.

But, there's hope. There's nothing inherently wrong with either of you or your preferences. The key to resolving this issue lies in the art of 'cumpromise'. It's about balancing your time, understanding each other's needs, and setting realistic expectations for the relationship. The goal isn't to suppress one's needs for the other, but to find a mutual ground that satisfies both.

Remember, you can only see things from your perspective, but through communication, you can understand your partner's view and work together towards a solution.

"If you can’t see your success, change your vantage point."

Key Points

1. 'Cumpromise' emphasizes the importance of mutual understanding and agreement in a relationship.
2. Differences in social preferences can create tension in a relationship if not addressed properly.
3. Open communication and compromise can help maintain balance in a relationship, ensuring both partners' needs are met.

The Myth of Lying: Perception and Miscommunication in Relationships

"Women are liars", or so many men perceive it. Now, don't be quick to jump into conclusions - let's clarify what this means. The claim isn't about women being intentionally deceitful, but more about the hidden rules that unfold as a relationship progresses.

The Illusion of No Rules: The Early Stages of Dating

In the dating phase, the only apparent rule seems to be spending time together. Time filled with laughter, discussions, activities, and the electric spark of budding affection. Late-night visits, dinner and movie dates, or cozy movie nights at home - they all culminate in an exchange of emotions. As the bond deepens, the lust-filled days start evolving into the comforting embrace of love.

The Emergence of Hidden Rules: The Progression into a Relationship

But, what if I told you there were rules all along, rules you didn't realize existed until they were broken? These unspoken expectations subtly govern the course of the relationship. Yet, they are often overlooked in the early phases when labels are hazy, and things are casual.

Upon becoming 'official', new rules are introduced, such as increased quality time, more public outings, and interactions with each other's families. It seems like a natural progression of the relationship, doesn't it? Still, even in this phase, you feel you maintain a sense of personal freedom - hanging out with friends, and occasionally going out together after work. But as the relationship progresses, even more, expectations start to emerge.

Unleashing the Kraken: The Shift after Marriage

When you think of the shift in a woman's behavior after getting engaged, you might attribute it to wedding planning stress. However, it's more than that. The 'Bridezilla' phase often uncovers long-held expectations that have been subtly imprinted since childhood. After the wedding, the so-called 'honeymoon phase' ends and the reality of living together brings forth more rules that have been visualized and practiced for years.

Unmasking the Fear of Commitment: The Hidden Factor

This progression, which often feels like an unraveling of hidden rules, is why many men fear commitment. However, once a man falls in love, he is willing to endure the challenges because the emotional bond holds him. If a man refrains from committing, it might be because he hasn't allowed himself to fall in love, to let you 'load the gun', so to speak.

Navigating the Waters of Unspoken Rules: The Solution

Here's a solution to circumvent this: Be upfront with your rules. If your partner infringes upon them, don't suppress your reaction; communicate your feelings. If you share your expectations, and your partner chooses to stay, then the responsibility lies with them. On the other hand, if you don't disclose your rules, and they feel blindsided later on, it's you who is at fault.

Don't rely on the assumption of 'common sense' because if it were common, it should have been apparent during the dating phase. Take solace in knowing that the right partner for you will respect and meet your expectations from the start, not because they feel 'tamed', but because they genuinely align with your needs.

Remember, in the end, all we want is to find happiness and fulfillment.

"If you can’t see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points

1. Relationships often entail unspoken rules that come to light as the bond progresses.
2. The perception of deceit in relationships often stems from undisclosed expectations or rules.
3. Open and honest communication about expectations and boundaries can help build stronger, more successful relationships.

Understanding Love: Individualistic and Ineffable

Love is a profoundly personal experience. "I can't love you how you would love you. I can only love you how I love you." Just like the thumbprint, each love is distinct and can't be replicated. Love, just like friendship, thrives when individuals find a common ground yet maintain their distinctiveness. But it's important to remember that things won't get done when you want them done; they will get done when they get done. Let's draw a parallel between the nuances of building a relationship and the construction of a home...

Choosing Your Builder: The Inception of a Relationship

Women, you have the privilege of choosing your builder - the one who will materialize your dream home, your future life. The choices are ample, but after careful consideration, you pick one. As the conversation sparks, you share your vision of the perfect home - how it looks, feels, and the vibe it resonates. Remember, you're not just planning a house but crafting a blueprint for your future life.

Surveying the land is crucial - Is it the right community? Are the neighbors amicable? All these considerations play a significant role in determining if this is where you want to lay the foundation of your future. Jim Rohn aptly said, "You can't build a house unless you already see it finished first." It's a perfect parallel for relationships - envisage the end, and then start working towards it.

Constructing Your Dream Home: Nurturing a Relationship

Now, the labor of love begins. As your chosen builder, I strive to transform your visualized dream into reality. But keep in mind - every construction is unique, much like every relationship. Although societal norms might dictate a timeline, love doesn't abide by it. Forcing stages before their due time can lead to an unstable structure. The same applies to relationships.

Allow the builder - your partner - to work at their pace, without pressuring them based on external influences. Your dream home, like your relationship, needs to be built meticulously, ensuring a strong, lasting foundation. Remember, dreams do materialize, but one can't pin an exact date and time to them. Just keep dreaming, and slowly, but surely, it will unfold into your reality.

The Fine Line Between Friendship and Relationship: A Matter of Actions

A friendship where two people relate is, in essence, a relationship. You can label it a friendship all day long, but if time and effort are invested in understanding and relating to each other, it is a relationship. Actions, indeed, speak louder than words.

As always, remember to be unapologetically selfish, radiating your happiness. It can inspire others to pursue their happiness too.

After all, "If you can't see your success, change your vantage point."

Key Points

1. Love and relationships are highly personal experiences, much like building a house.
2. Applying unnecessary pressure based on societal norms or expectations can disrupt the natural progression of a relationship.
3. Friendship where two individuals relate is a relationship in its essence.

The Intriguing Intersection of Love and Sales: Meeting at the Dealership

Let's take a spin into the world of car sales – an unexpected yet potent metaphor for the dating game. You pull up to the dealership, your eyes scanning the shiny parade of potential new rides. Here, the salesman doesn't need to sell you a car. You're already in the market. His task? Simply to match your desires with an option at a price the dealership approves. Now, let's cruise this concept into the dating realm...

Striking the Perfect Deal: Selling Attention for Affection

If someone finds your exterior appealing, they're likely to approach you. It's the law of attraction. Now, all you need to do is to strike a balance between what they want and what you can offer. Take, for instance, the age-old trade-off in dating: a man gives a woman attention; in return, she offers intimacy. But there's a catch – more often than not, the exchange ends there. It's a hasty transaction, skipping the potential for depth.

But consider this: what if he approached her offering time and attention? This time, she's winning. There had to be a reason he approached in the first place. Through a series of chats, he reveals his true desire: a relationship. As this dance continues, his emotional investment grows. When he's truly hooked, that's when she can sell him a relationship on her terms. Sound familiar? It mirrors the protracted process of buying a car.

Unmasking the Alpha Male: The Power of Confidence and Attention to Detail

Society often equates physical fitness with 'Alpha' status. But what if one doesn't fit the societal mould of a chiseled Greek god? Enter the world of the charismatic, confident, 'business developer' types. These are the ones who, despite not being gym buffs, exude confidence and an exceptional eye for detail. They've nailed the packaging, understand the walk, and have mastered the talk.

This breed of 'business developers' have a unique challenge. They must seek out clients (potential partners) and prove their worth. In social situations, they face numerous tests to their 'Alpha' status. And believe me, being an Alpha is all about readiness and resilience, something I'll delve deeper into in my upcoming GentleMANliness series.

The Intriguing Dance of Sales and Seduction: Why Business Developers Shine

The 'business developer' approach to dating might seem more demanding than the casual 'car salesman' method. However, business developers suggest better ways to invest your 'mental cash', such as time, on things that appreciate over time, rather than instant gratification that often depreciates.

Let's be clear, this post isn't to disregard the fit and fabulous. Instead, it's a rallying cry for those who may not fit the conventional attractiveness mould to understand their unique value in the relationship market. It's time to ponder: Who truly reaps more rewards, whether in mental or physical 'cash'?

Stay tuned, as we dive deeper into the nuances of GentleMANliness.

As always, remember to be unabashedly selfish and radiate your happiness. It's infectious. After all, "If you can't see your success, change your vantage point."

Key Points

1. The dating game is comparable to a sales scenario, with each party offering something the other wants.
2. Confidence, detail-oriented, and charisma are attractive attributes that can compete with physical fitness.
3. Mental 'cash' like time, attention, and emotional investment often yield greater returns in relationships.