Do you want to know what I learned while washing dishes? First of all, men do wash dishes and lots of them. My wife, just like her momma, likes to use one side of the sink to "soak" the dishes. By the time I get to the sink to wash the dishes, the water is damn near brown. I turned the faucet on, and down came a heavy stream of clear water. One by one, I take the "soaking" dishes and scrub each one clean. Then I insert it into the dishwasher to dry.

Yes, I use my dishwasher as a drying rack. I'm old-school like that. 

After the last dish was clean, I released that brown water while the clear water was still streaming down. It was at that point when it hit me. 

Most of you are dirty water, at least your mind is. Think of it this way. You read all the memes about how terrible men are, right? Some you even agree with. I can hear you now. You just read a meme that said something to the effect of telling you he loves you means nothing if his actions keep showing you differently. You like yup yup ummm hmmm I knew he won't shit. You agree with this because your water is dirty. It's negative. Let's call it what it is PROPAGANDA. This keeps all your ideas (dishes) dirty because they are surrounded by dirty water. His personality might just be a bit different. He might not show you love the way you expect to see or receive it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or isn't trying. The dirty water has you thinking he's dirty!

Remove the dishes (your ideas/perceptions) from the dirty water, scrub them clean, wash the dishes with that crystal clear stream of water coming down, then set them in the dishwasher to dry. Next, remove the plug, or whatever that metal thing is that stops the water and catches the beans from the red beans and rice you had for dinner. If that means detox from all negative social media outlets for 30 days and replace them with positive ones and watch and see if it not only change your relationship status but your life.

Now I wonder how many of you will do the dishes!?


Advantage [Big Fella]. Sorry, I thought of this post while watching the Australian Open. Here's the deal when it comes to big men, we have an advantage. I bet you didn't know that, huh?

The media portrays us as lazy, lonely freaks, and if we somehow got caught with a beautiful woman, we must have what? A lot of money. I read one article that actually called it fatphobia.

Here is where the advantage comes in. If you're out and about and you see a beautiful woman. You walk right over to her and say hi! Immediately, your voice's confidence doesn't match what she was expecting or rather how she was taught that you would approach. There may be a ton of "sexy Flexi" dudes in the room, but none had the heart to say hi! But you did. 

Here quote-on-quote (yes, I'm doing the rabbit fingers) relationship barometer is going crazy like a magnet to a compass. She doesn't know what to do next because she wasn't expecting that. She's expecting at any moment one of those "Sexy Flexi" dudes was going to speak, not you. Now you have her open, and all you did was say hi!

Consider yourself ahead of the pack, the Alpha Dawg. Later I'll tell you about manipulating the scene through fashion, but for now, know there are typically three types of men in any given scene. There's the "Yard Dog". He's been there, knows everyone, and, being the most Alpha, will be the first to check any new males on the scene. He becomes white noise because he's been on the scene, and the women are used to him. She's used to him. She's comfortable with him, so she's cool with being around. Then there's the Guerilla Pimp. He shows up and wakes all the women up because he's dressed so differently. However, he also wakes up the Yard Dog. I believe I called them Haters or Zombies in another post ( I have too many). As stated earlier, the Yard Dog has to check him.

Where do you fall in at?

I promised you three guys on the scene. By sheer nature of you being a Big Fella, it doesn't matter how you're dressed. This guy is termed "Smooth Operator". The Smooth Operator only wakes up the women because the Yard Dogs don't deem him a threat.

You're the Smooth Operator.

With yo confident self, I see ya. By the time the Yard Dogs looks up, you will be gone, and he will wonder where she went. And that my friend is Advantage [Big Fella].

Have you ever experienced what I'm talking about? Let me know. I know when other men see me out with my wife, they have to be wondering how.



Men are weak, and women are strong in 2020, really!? I actually agree. The real question is, why? Men are getting weaker because of men. Women are the most consistent beings on Planet Earth. Think of it this way; you know that fable about the tortoise and the hare. The Hare starts running real fast and believing that it's so fast and the race is so easy that he actually stops and falls asleep and ultimately loses the race. 

What do a turtle and a rabbit have to do with relationships?

I know that's your question but think about it. The hare being you, "The Man," starts fast and is winning the race, but you're inconsistent. Ultimately, our society as now and throughout history shows that when society becomes too "feminine," it fails.

I'm a Father, and that's why I feel this needs to be said.

I always make an important distinction between men and Fathers. God grants you the title of Father. Whether that's a result of practicing Divinity or being married. Time and time again, I state that "men" are responsible for the fall of "men," and thus society failing. It's not a feminine or masculine thing; it's a family structure thing. 

When men aren't upgraded to Father, who is to do the rearing of their children, that's really not a difficult question to answer. It's the women or some other man. This creates a problem because, as I stated on many occasions, a child needs a Father to instill confidence or, as I like to put it, increase their bucket or nozzle. Without that, you have toxic feminity or masculinity. This compounds the problem. I get it Adam was put here first. But, he needed a why, he needed a reason to feel his existence was deliberate, along came Eve. She needed to feel her existence was deliberate, along came the child. There's no such thing as independence. The only time you reference independence is when you're referring to something relating to money.

Back to the Tortoise and the Hare.

Women aren't getting stronger. They are the Tortoise when you become tired and weak here she comes as consistent as she can be right along to pass you. If the right Tortoise comes along maybe, she'll help you. These men claiming that women are weak and inferior to men are really getting on my nerves. You made your bed now lay in it.


Here I AM struggling with the whole idea of how to share my knowledge on the subject of confidence. I struggled with the idea of having to prove my credibility and such. So off to YouTube I go. I went to do some research into how other tubers (Yes, I AM a tuber now) present their knowledge. I watched a few channels then got caught in the YouTube loop and was watching video after video. Oh, that algorithm.

I went to sleep, woke to a whole new set of suggestions. It was sneakers and fashion it was all about personalities. I remembered having to take a personality test at work. I remembered that there was only a small portion of the world that was like me. I thought... did I game the system for it to match me with my ideal personality.

This led me to take the test again and my goal was to speed through it without giving the questions and answers much thought. I did and the test came back positive ( a little COVID humor) I have an INFJ personality type.

INFJ is one of the rarest personality types. Oh, btw I took the test here. And no this is sponsored. I actually paid more attention to what it was saying this time and I finally felt like someone knew me, I mean besides my family. Myers Briggs knew me, knew me, and apparently so did these Tubers. 

A few of the adjectives that describe INFJs are altruistic, passionate, principled, insightful, creative reluctant to open up, perfectionistic, and avoid the ordinary. Honestly, I'm boosted.

If you watch a few "Tubers" on the subject let me know what you think. Go take the test. I'm interested in hearing what your personality type fits you!



textgramThere is only one thing worse than an excuse, justifying. An excuse is an internal thing like I was tired so I didn't go to the gym this morning. You'll know the proverb "Excuses are tool of incompetence". However the justifying is far worse. Justifying is worse because you put the reason you couldn't do something on some outside factor. By outside factor I mean someone or something other than yourself. I didn't get up to go to the gym because sleep felt too good this morning. Sleep just became the reason you didn't go to the gym. Now that I think about it justifying is why my goals are always almost met. Maybe yours too.

What happens is this you get close to your goal and then you justify why you can't do something to the contrary of your goal.

So you don't know what I'm talking about. Let's take those last five pounds you can't seem to get rid of. You are so close to your goal and then you justify why it's finally ok to grab that piece of cake or your Auntie's famous Mac n' Cheese. We say it's only one meal and you will knock the calories off in the gym tomorrow. Only when it's time to hit the gym tomorrow you say you will pick it up tomorrow and on top of that you took home a plate. Now you're on day 2. Then you ate bad for two days and missed the gym you might as well take the week off, after all you have been working really hard over these last couple of months. I get it trust me. How do you think I can write about this? We justified that it is ok because we have worked so hard this far and it's your Auntie's Mac n' Cheese. So we blame Auntie's Mac for being so good. We blame the gym for always being open tomorrow. This is the suppression theory smacking you in the face. When you go to get on the scale, after the night of bingeing, it didn't move, so you didn't gain any weight. Then the day after that you've gained eight pounds. Now into your worst nightmare and everyone's same fate, you start to continue to gain weight. You're now justifying your gaining of weight by saying it's really difficult to lose those last five pounds and everyone seem to have the same result. So now your workouts aren't as intense because you cheated with the cheat meal and you let the meal defeat you. Like Auntie's Mac n' Cheese contained a get fat virus that at first slowly caused you to gain weight and then boom it rapidly expands. Nope this all happened because you justified why it was ok in the first place.

Justifying is like strategizing the excuse. If you look for someone or something to blame for you to not do what you didn't want to in the first place you will eventually find it. Conversely if you look for someone or something to blame for you doing what you wanted to do in the first place you will eventually find it.

Think about it like this, if you want to sleep with someone other than your significant other you have to justify the reason by blaming someone else or something else for you doing what you wanted to do in the first place. That guy or girl from work you "randomly" meet at the bar and have a few drinks, you then can blame Patron for why y'all slept together.

If you don't like someone you never even met, don't even know personally you justify it by saying you don't like them because of the way they dress or how they carry themselves. As if their dress code did something to you. You act like the way they carry themselves did some sort of injustice to you.

Justifying is also worse because it's about people pleasing. If you don't want to do something instead of being "allowed" to say no you don't want to do it, you have to give a reason (justification) as to why you don't want to do it. Here's the kicker YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO!

In most cases when you are not let off the hook for justifying you then dial it back to an excuse. Now that you have given an excuse most people don't want to beat you when you're down so they just leave you with your excuses, and we all know the Proverb "excuses are tools of incompetence".

"I appreciate everyone, everything, and every event, whether seen or unseen, that led to me being me at every stage of me."-Swagger Coach


Today I decided that I'm a full 100% believer in Faith. I have always told others that no matter what religion you believe in the Crux of the Matter was Faith. I constantly think about three things; money, success, and people. For me the root of the three is Freedom. When I go to sleep I'm free. I used to pay a whole lot of attention to the fact that "I" can't do something such as gain enough money, success, and without those, I could not help anyone. I went along with life not allowing anyone to help me and I felt frustrated when I couldn't help others. My new idea is to give as I always have but allow myself to be a receiver of that love back. There have been many girls in my time that I didn't allow to love me. I did this to the point at which they loved me the most. When they reached that point I turned and made them hate me. I would give all my clothes, shoes, and time away for free. Never did I let people pay me with their time, a weird concept I know but think about it. I would do this so much that I would resent people for how they treated me or the lack of treatment. I remember that old way of living like it was yesterday. In fact, it was yesterday. When I started to research how to live more abundantly, one of my brothers told me to look on YouTube about this movie/book called "The Secret". Months went by then out of nowhere my renewed sense of needing abundance has resurfaced like a submarine. So I then proceeded to go from site-to-site, video-to-video. What's crazy is that my memory was shot on most things but for some reason, I could recall the exact point in which things happen that triggered a negative spiral. As I was attempting to change my way of thinking I decided that I only wanted t think of happy thoughts, like Peter Pan. I always told people that my laugh is so crazy that you can't be angry around me, at least when I was happy. The more I researched I started thinking about this secret and how it applied to every single movie. I used to get upset because I thought every movie was a love story and couldn't figure out how they connected to love in all these damn movies. Through this research and new thought process, I thought about all my difficulties in life and where my cues were that something needed to change. I started to love waking up each day with new vigor. It was exciting to see how the day would unfold knowing that somehow, some thought I had created this view of my reality. For the first time, I actually feel alive. I have been awoken from a deep sleep, that was causing me to miss the joys of life. Then after watching, listening, and reading for hours on how to apply what I have learned, I thought there has to be something to this and everyone already knew it. I felt like, at the time, that I was among the sleeping dead. Everyone was on autopilot controlling what they thought led to their happiness but was missing the root cause.

What you don't see is what you get just kept replaying in my mind over and over again. So I started talking to myself within my head and wondering, I wonder if anyone can hear me. I used to practice this without understanding how it works. An example is when I would wake up early to play my Madden while the family was still asleep I would think so hard about them waking up that they would, much earlier than their normal time. Then I thought about how that happens. Then I thought deeper and said what am I missing? What is that God is trying to tell me that I couldn't see. My next thought blew my mind as I was writing out my thoughts on paper. If I'm talking somebody has to be listening. Who is it that hears our prayers when we say them to ourselves? As a kid, I often made statements like I'm spoiled by the world because if I wanted something bad enough somehow there would be a way for me to get it. I didn't realize how powerful these words were. I did not understand how things truly happened in the world. I injured my knee playing high school football and my best friend pretty much nursed me. What was funny was that I hated being in the house or better yet I loved being outside and no way was I going to be down long. The doctor told us that my knee healed as fast as he had ever seen I just got up and walked out no rehab. Still not aware of the power that I/we possess.

All throughout my life people loved being around me so I always said I'm going to have a lounge that was similar to home. I imagined the whole thing from the way people would swipe their cards and it would announce them in. I imagined how everyone would remove their shoes and replace them with slippers or bedroom shoes.  I even imagined how this was a members-only venue and crime-free. I could see my office would be overlooking the room like a loft. That brings me back to my new-found awareness, but still, I had the questions... What was I missing? Why couldn't I get it right? For Heavens' sake who listens to me when I talk to myself? I immediately started replaying those same simple statements and I then began to say all successful people must know the answer. I listened to Will Smith say "Lay it on the line, don't have a plan B" Failure is not an option so there is no need for a plan B. Preparing a plan B takes time and energy away from plan A, keep working on the plan until it's successful. I remember Jay-Z saying something to the effect of "Luck is a mystical movement randomly bestowing people with happiness and joy, you create your own luck". So I thought about how I view Warren Buffet he has so much money and influences that he can move the stock market to create his riches. Meaning if he buys stock in say.... schit, whatever that may be, everyone decides they want to own shares of schit. He surely must know the answers to my questions. So I again began to tune into YouTube, if you can't tell I'm an avid YouTuber. The author of The Secret said to ask the universe and it shall answer. So right as I asked the question again "why can't I get it right" A Program Manager in my office says I regret that decision. I realized later that he was referring to not putting in on the pizza order, but was taken back for a second and I responded by saying there are no bad decisions your path is your path whether you go straight or around you end at the same spot because God isn't going to take you one second before or one second after he is supposed to. But then I said to myself I have the answer and it was given to me by myself because at that point I chose to listen, my circumstances had changed, my reality was altered for me to hear him make that statement. OK, I thought am I overthinking this? I then quickly silenced my thoughts and as it went quiet I realized I am in control of my thoughts if I can utter words in my head and I can hear them then I must be God. God is me than his name as stated in whatever chapter and whatever verse as stated to Moses is, I AM. Therefore I AM him, and since I AM is the name of God and I AM, I must be able to control my own reality. That piqued my interest even more because I started to always talk to myself. God and I have such a great relationship it's like we're BFFs. I started to watch how different scenarios played out in front of my eyes and I would laugh with God. It felt like the difference between Heaven and earth,  awake and sleep. I like talking to God so much that I try to do it in my sleep. I go to bed imagining what my future is like to wake up happy and joyous. I am not religious by any stretch but I do now know what it's like to be in the presence of God. To love yourself is to understand yourself and how you relate to others in love. I try to push love and happiness just by being me. Smiling, laughing are things that I love to do. As a matter of fact, my nickname is BigLuv.

I feel abundantly rich in all aspects, some may say he is off his rocker, but I say I'm happy being me. I stop all of the negative thoughts, well maybe not all but most and replaced them with positive thoughts I have watched my relationships change and different opportunities open up. See I AM changing my reality right now as I write and you read or better yet, your eyes read and ears listen. I have so much to tell you but I can't get it all out. Imagine yourself, wealthy and you will be. Try your best to put a positive spin on everything, the universe demands it. Because if you ask, you must and will get it. See the root cause of my problems was that I had to make a decision at the age of about 5 that would result in leaving my mom and moving with my dad. I didn't regret this decision until I found out that I regretted the decision. However, that decision leads me to be the man I AM today, a wealthy, overabundantly selfish giver. I give because it makes me happy, not because it helps you. That's a side effect of my overabundance spewing out to the world. I now am not afraid to receive love because I understand to give is to receive. I give happiness I receive happiness. Love is what binds you to the things you attract. So make sure you understand what you truly love. For me, I love money, success, and helping people. I AM wealthy, I AM successful, I AM a helper of people, I AM all of those things at once. I love this new feeling. Last note Do unto others as you will have them do unto you. Allow yourself to receive. We all can live abundantly!!!


Why are there no good men?

Women and Swag

First of all note, the swag is not gender-specific. Women, you must realize that you are in control. Contrary to popular belief you hold the power. 98% of marriages start with the man asking the woman. The mom takes care of 94% of the kids. So how can we as men dictate to you? This is cleverly disguised because without our all-important sperm you cannot reproduce. There is something in your body, genetic makeup, which tells you to do whatever it takes to make this happen. So here is where your major problem lies. I like to think of it in terms of Lions. I know you're saying I’m calling you an animal, yes I am, we all are. The Lion King hangs out all day making decisions and fighting when he’s challenged. This is sort of like men. The women go and get the food and make it edible for their offspring. Now, how important is the Lion King? Well, he’s the ideal candidate to create offspring, he’s fast, smart, strong, and he survived being a child in the wild. This creates his swag so all the Lionesses want to be with him.  So what am I saying? I’m saying that women only care for their offspring and will do what’s necessary for them. The only problem is that the Lion King gets to impregnate all the Lionesses. Translating this forward, we have a pride of women wanting to sleep with the same man. When this happens you give up control and thus lose your true identity. As women, thinking in this manner, you want the leader of the pack. This is how the player or dog gets created. In a man’s nature, this is not naturally the case. What generally happens is as kids we do not realize our swagger or swag. In most cases a boy cub will find a girl cub that he likes, then once he realizes that he is not the Lion King and she falls for another, his quest changes. Now he does what he has to do to become the Lion King but once he becomes the Lion King now all the girls want him, so he has all the girls. Now the Lion King in today’s society would be the guy in the club, office, a playground that’s swag is on “a thousand” at that moment. See in the lion’s society that practice of one male impregnating all the females is accepted however in our modern-day society it’s not. So how do you get the Lion King to only want you? Your swag is the key.

Now back to the hierarchy women's shoes must be flawless. Now the key to how you dress is based, just like for the males, on your audience. No matter what shoes you have on they must be presentable. Let me state again that you have the power, so honestly, your outfit depends on who you want to attract, like the feathers of a peacock. Now if you have on jeans and sneakers you can almost bet your bottom dollar that a guy with jeans and sneakers on is going to make a move if any move is made at all. See for you women dressing has no rules except that it has to look good on you. Remember swag is how you are perceived by others. Now if you are a big girl or a girl with fat feet know that open toes is not the way for you. The type of shoes, being the base, is the beginning of your swag. Appealing is what you want to be at all times, the same with men. I mean the thing that you can get away with a woman is ridiculous, like wearing hills with sweat pants.  Imagine a guy putting on a fresh pair of slides (dress shoes) with a pair of sweats; you would have to believe he’s in a rush or even a bum no matter what the name brand or how fresh the shoes look.  The hierarchy is how your swag gets determined.  Confidence is the key to swag; you have to know you are the schit. The game, men trying to impress women, and vice versa is what we do every day. Some have become experts at this and others need assistance, but everyone is in the game. A woman with confidence is exhilarating and thus piques our interest. When you step into a room and you walk it's like you are floating and all men love that. When you feel that you are above the room men will too. With that said you cannot hide behind a mask and think that we don’t know what you’re doing.

Head appeal is second on the hierarchy. If you wear makeup and it doesn’t look natural or the setting does not call for it, you appear to have low self-esteem. When you have low self-esteem we can smell it. When you have low self-esteem it's like a shark to blood in the water, easy prey. Your face is more important than your hair. Hairstyles should be designed to complement your face and outfit, but mainly your face. Your facial features can be off-kilter, meaning you’re ugly, but if you’re confident in yourself and want to be yourself then, men will smell and compete for that. This confidence is how you must really feel deep down inside. Men smell it from the heart, so if confidence isn’t running through your veins and is only on the surface once that is realized you will be left alone and on to the next scent. Women call men dogs and don’t really understand the psyche behind it. Sex is a weapon and you should use it to ward off unwanted intruders. Why is sex a weapon? We as men utilize all our senses when attacking our prey, and you are the prey. See sex is how we directly connect to you. When this connection happens it will become apparent that you have or lack confidence. How do you overcome this? As a woman, you naturally want to mate with a suitable King to increase the chances of your offspring surviving, but the timing has to be right. We men also need to have the same confidence that I speak of. If you have intercourse with a male too soon, although you have confidence, it will have an adverse effect on his confidence and his subconscious mind will tell him that you lack in that department, thus on to the next scent.  This is how strong women end up with the guy out the door. Men and women need each other there is no such thing as independence only strong. See because you are confident you don’t need to sleep with the male at a time convenient to him it has to be convenient to the both of you. The guy is always ready but you shouldn’t be. You wait until he has committed to you. This may not be through a relationship but after getting all the things you want. How do you get the things you want?

A shirt can send all the right signals it can say I’m open for business or I’m a business owner. Your shirt or what’s covering your heart tells a man when you are ready. Hence the reasons why men stare in that region because he’s trying to figure out if it is him you are ready for. The shirt or what’s covering your heart is the most important level because it’s the gateway down south. Your swag can be boosted or downgraded based on how you cover your heart. The same rules apply for both women and men. If your shirt is too big, you lack confidence, on to the next scent. Now if the shirt is too small that brings about a plethora of mental thoughts. If you are a big girl or a girl with the “muffin top” small shirts are disgusting, period. Nobody finds that attractive but what men do find is that you are blood in the water, easy prey. These are the same facts for shirts with your entire breast out. What’s under the shirt or however you cover your heart is what we are trying to get to. We want to know your confidence, showing us any portion of your heart makes us think we have a cheat code or shortcut to finding out. In a one on one situation never show anything unless you are prepared for the worst, a confidence thirsty wolf.  That’s the worst situation for any female to be in. If you do not understand what I’m saying its rape, this is not your fault, he is confidence thirsty and will do anything to get it, so know your audience. Now as a woman again fashion just has to look good on you, because there are any numbers of things you can put together to make an outfit. Now you have sent a message with what is covering your heart, next comes the confirmation.

Pants will confirm whether or not you are confident and ready in appearance. Now pants are what really make the muffin. Just like when making actual muffins the pan, not the dough is what determines the top. With that said if you are a big girl wearing pants that are too small, it’s disgusting. Now pants can make or break an outfit or your perceived confidence. Ok again with the big girls, just as I was talking to the fat dudes in an earlier post, you cannot wear pants that are too small. Your belly will get squeezed out of the top and thus forming the muffin. Buy pants that fit! Skinny jeans are for skinny people, if you wear skinny jeans and you are a big girl you absolutely cannot wear a skinny top. Now, what you can do with skinny jeans as a big girl? You can wear a fitting but not snug shirt with a pair of boots. Now if you are a big girl and you wear skinny jeans with sneakers, this is a no-no. Shoes are the first thing we see so we will see your ankles spewing out the bottom of your jeans like a baker pushing buttercream. From there it does not matter how the rest of the outfit looks. Boots it does not matter what boot but something to cover the ankles and hide but flatter your top. Now we are down south, the entranceway to discovering your confidence. Again the timing has to be right but you can tease a man with the right pair of pants or whatever covers the entranceway. Now getting in the entranceway should not be free! He should have spent time and affection. More important than affection is time. See the longer he is fighting to outwit you then the more his mind is saying she is confident. What this battle does is allows you both to gain confidence in each other. See you begin to trust him, so his thoughts and ideas and words help you to gain the confidence you need. He doesn’t realize this is happening but at the same time, his subconscious mind is saying this is exactly what I need. Through this time you give him the confidence that there is no other scent better than yours and he has been on your scent so long he doesn’t remember what other scents are. The third bonus in paying with time is that he will forget how to hunt anything other than your scent. But it is crucial for you to remember he is a wild animal who was once the Lion King, these hunting skills are only masked in mutual benefits. Once the benefits lean-to one side or the other or you are not doing the same things that kept him on the hunt he will then start to remember the wild. A classic example of this is Buck a character in the book “Call of the Wild” who was a house dog who heard the calling of other dogs and once in the wild he remembered how to survive and compete. If the timing is right he will take care of the accessories.

The accessories are the last level of swag, which is the bonus level because for most women it isn’t necessary or most men don’t care, but when it's right it's right. For example, wearing a strapless dress shows off your neck and shoulders if you wear long chandelier-like earrings this will accentuate your neckline leading to your shoulders.  This coupled with a necklace that rests slightly below your neck will send men crazy. But either way, you have control.


Swag by my definition is a mathematical quantification of one’s demeanor, personality, and overall attractiveness as perceived by others. This department is where most of us fat dudes fall victim to predators. Walking around completely unsure of whether you fit in or not. Just like needs, swag has a hierarchy. In order to build your swag you must start with the base of the hierarchy and not skip steps. The hierarchy is as follows: the base is shoes; the next level is head appeal, then shirt, pants, and finally accessories. Those are the basics we will discuss swag boosters throughout the article.

The base is your shoes, without this, you cannot stand, or walk. How did shoes get to be the base? Well as a Fashionlytic I came to the conclusion that whether you're fat, skinny, starter, or bench warmer if you take all that away the difference is your shoes. Outside of natural appearance, it’s the first thing kids make fun of. Now hear the truth it doesn’t matter whether they are expensive or cheap just clean and fresh looking. You have to believe that your shoes are the schit! You can recognize instantly when a person believes their shoes are cool because they have the “new shoe walk”. This walk is where your swag begins to show. As people ask themselves why he walks like that, then they look down and see a pair of fresh kicks. Now what happens next, isn’t gender-specific, everyone in whatever jargon or slang you speak says to themselves, or if your swag is “on a thousand” they will say nice kicks. Now see the truth many will argue the name brand cheap thing but picture this Rick Ross shoes, expensive or cheap. Because of his swag, you aren’t going to question it. You want to know how I shop for shoes that are going to boost my swag. Shopping to find your base is easier than you think, it can be done with little cash. Say for example I wanted new shoes to wear out tonight but I only have $30, and I need them tonight. For all the fashion Guru’s this is a lesson on swag not how to spend money. I would go to Payless, yes Payless, they have a good selection and they are relatively inexpensive. For example, right now I could build my outfit around a pair of Lakeside slip-ons by Dexter. This shoe is versatile because it can be worn hanging out or going to the club. Your facial recognition factor is the next level.

Keep reading and by the end of this article, you will be a complete Swaggateer. People will look directly at your face. Head appeal is a crucial element in controlling perception. Dismiss the truth you may be ugly, and if you believe that then you lose because swag is based on how others perceive you. So stop here and go cry in the corner of your room in your parents’ house with Twinkies and a love story. If you believe you are the schit then read on. When others see your face their eyes should be greeted with a smile. Since you don’t know who’s watching you, then you should always be smiling. If their eyes are met with a mug then the bus stops there. You become unapproachable or you’re having a bad day, all of which translates to ugly. But because we are smiling now we are warm and available for conversation. Side Note: Everybody is ugly to somebody, no matter how you cut it. Your face should be groomed, hair cut, and lips not chapped. Lips not being chapped does not mean running around with your lips poppin’. At this point she will say to herself if he is this clean then his life must be that way as well. This translates to he has no drama and if he does he has a handle on it, equaling dateable or worthy of getting to know them. Not saying that is the case it's just how she perceives it. Once again with swag not being gender-specific then men will say you fresh or something of the sort. At this point, you can take control of any chance meeting with one word, hi. That one word, believe it or not, is the most difficult thing in the world to say for a swagless person. The “hi” is open-ended, which means it invites conversation but because you are in control now the response is up to the swag of the other person. Don’t get too caught up in the “hi” though you should say it to everyone. The “hi” says I recognize your presence, which could ward off would-be attackers. How do you really rev up your swagodometer?

Keep reading.

The shirt plays an important role in this aspect. As the third level of the hierarchy, this will begin to add momentum to your swag. Ok, your shirt has to be clean, pressed (ironed no wrinkles). Having wrinkles can move you into the disorganized category, and if you are big enough, the sloppy category. Both of those categories denote bad things and should be avoided. What stands out the most, and can be seen from a hundred miles away, is the shirt size. If the shirt is too small it says “I like what I like and I don’t care what you think”. That may be an outstanding quality in other areas but not when trying to gain swag. Oh and don’t think because it's high-end, name-brand it means something, it doesn’t. It will only lead to you being laughed at or talked about. Whether they say it to your face or behind your back they are still saying it. At this point, you are one foot into the coffin of friendship. The reciprocal is a shirt that is too big. These are the shirts that hang down to your knees. You know the ones that were labeled short sleeves but when you put it on the sleeves are ¾ long, looking like the shirt sleeves were rolled up then cut off, terrible. It says “hey world I have something to hide” the only problem is that everyone knows what it is I’m fat and I lack confidence! This guarantees you end up in the friendship coffin and buried deep. The person who dresses this way will be timid and want to avoid confrontation, that’s why you get picked on. Predators will attack the easiest prey shirts that size appears like a bullseye. If you put on a shirt that fits it screams I know who I am, I am confident in whom I am, and most importantly I want to be who I am. Boom, at this point you have not voluntarily put yourself in the friendship coffin, so you’re good so far. The double-up bonus equals wearing a shirt that hasn’t come out yet or that nobody would wear, at least not until they saw how you did it. A common comment that you know that you have been swag boosted is as simple as that’s a nice shirt from girls or I saw that shirt from guys. From a man that translates to I did not have the swag to wear the shirt so I didn’t buy it. When girls say it, it translates to you look nice in that shirt. You are almost to the top!

Pants are the final most statically underappreciated area of swag. Correctly choosing a pair of pants puts you on the road to being swaggeriffic. Britches, excuse my ole’ school, that are too small tells the universe that I want to desperately fit in, and not ever go against the grain, or I don’t look at myself. Again people will talk about you! That’s a clear violation of the swag code and therefore you have been D-O-W-N-G-R-A-D-E-D. Pants that are too big whisper I’m fat, but I don’t want you to know exactly how fat I am. I lack confidence, individual character, and I’m not happy with myself… If you put a rock in front of this person they will try to hide under it. If you’re lucky, because you don’t know who you are then you can be made into whatever she wants you to be. If she doesn’t have anyone to chill with, guess who’s up. If she wants to feel loved because her real love interest doesn’t like her, guess who’s up. If she has a secret that she wants to tell and doesn’t want anyone to know, guess who’s up, the unpopular swagless fat guy. These are the only circumstances that she will call you. Now metaphorically you're dead buried deep in a coffin. If you want to be swagtastic you will purchase pants that fit. Men will say, in a masculine tone, “I like those jeans, where did you get them”. Women will most likely comment on the outfit as a whole, this is because if she says “nice jeans” checkmate, she was checking you out. Now you are almost ready to go to the skybox.

Are you ready let’s go!

Accessorizing isn’t just for women. How we accessorize makes us men. Now, this isn’t the 90’s where you would put on every chain you owned every time you left the house. For men, we have to keep it simple like a watch, and or a single chain. If you have the right head size you can add a head-gear like a ball cap, or fedora. Since we have all been accustomed to watching so much TV, glasses are an excellent option as an accessory. Because you have to wear them you might as well pick a stylish looking pair. Stylish looking is just that stylish looking, not name brand or expensive. We do not carry black books anymore we carry cell phones. Some women value your subtle telling of how much money should be in your bank account by having flashy cell phones. As I love having the latest cell phone gadget I’m a fan of the cell phone as an accessory. Unless you are married get rid of the rings. Cheap outfits are instantly thought of as exclusive and expensive with the addition of a cool watch and cell phone.

Published February 22, 2011