Thriving or Surviving? Your Love Story in the Concrete Jungle of Relationships

A rose blooming through a crack in concrete

Let's Stir the Pot with Social Media

Picture this - a casual Instagram scroll. You tap into that handy search bar and type in #RelationshipGoals. Boom! The first thing to hit your retina? The who's who of relationship gurus.

So, you, my friend, do what any curious soul would do. You tap on the first account. And what's their most recent gem of wisdom? Drumroll, please... "Don't beg for love or friendship. If the effort isn't mutual, pack your bags and hit the road, Jack (or Jill)."

Now, doesn't that just blow your socks off with its profound insight? I'm not throwing shade at the account, but I mean, really? Isn't it about time we start offering cures instead of band-aids?

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not asking you to point fingers. It's more of a rhetorical musing. And we both know the answer: zip, zero, zilch.

A Rose By Any Other Struggle...

Okay, indulge me for a second. Suppose you see a rose sprouting right out of a solid concrete slab. Now, would you say that rose had to hustle more than a garden-grown rose?

Honestly, I wouldn't know. Last time I checked, I wasn't a rose. But it's easy to judge the rough 'n' tough environment and assume life's been hard for our concrete rose. I mean, it’s got to be a rough ride for a delicate bloom to break through solid concrete, right? Maybe. Maybe not.

This concrete rose, blooming against all odds, becomes the center of attention. Folks stepping over and around it to admire its resilient beauty. When night falls, it’s a sight to behold. Bathed in the soft glow of street lights reflecting off the concrete, it's a symbol of how rough beginnings can't dim true inner radiance.

But hang on, have we forgotten our garden rose? Amidst beetles, mites, caterpillars, and grasshoppers not to mention those predators who snack on them! Oh, and don’t forget the friendly neighborhood insecticide showers. Isn't this rose's journey equally tumultuous?

So, I pose the question again: who's had to work harder to grow?

Decoding Your #RelationshipGoals

This is why I'm a bit skeptical of these typical social media relationship nuggets. To really level up your love game, you've got to do some serious self-discovery. Why did you judge the situation in the first place? The moment you comprehend your own nature, only then can you start evaluating the efforts put into your relationship. It'll all boil down to what you need to flourish.

So, my friend, which rose are you? Are you breaking through concrete slabs or gracefully dancing around garden bugs?

Key Points

  1. Social media relationship advice often lacks depth and practical applicability.
  2. Judging effort in relationships is subjective and based on personal experience.
  3. Personal self-discovery is crucial to understanding and meeting your relationship needs.

Remember, my friend, love isn't about treatment, it's about cure. The journey starts with you! "If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Love and the Single Life: How to Win the Battle of Self-Esteem

A single woman confidently standing alone, surrounded by light with a soccer ball

The Lone Wonder

Imagine this. You're stunning. You've got the job, the physique, and the charm. Whenever you make an entrance, you're like a dazzling light in a room full of shadows. So why the hell are you single (insert perplexed emoji)?

Well, allow me to spill the secret. It's the discord between who you are and your self-esteem. You've got this little thing called a mis-match.

Because of this mis-match, you're stuck in a maze of self-confusion. You're wearing a mask, fibbing to yourself about your identity. And honey, if you're lying to yourself, you're inevitably lying to him too.

The Self-Esteem Dichotomy

Sure, you're desired. You're aware that you're a knockout, brainy and seductive. But the moment you step outside, all these certainties fade.

To paint a picture, let's say you're looking for fellow basketball enthusiasts. But instead of hitting the courts, you march straight into a soccer field. Crazy, right? But guess what? You're doing exactly that.

Most of us spend our time where we feel at home. There's a reason you're cozy in that spot. The desire to fit into a group drives you. It's intertwined with your self-esteem and confidence.

Dr. Strange and the Elitist Enigma

Now, let's spin this differently. Picture yourself as a hotshot doctor, a maestro in your field like Dr. Strange. Your Lamborghini's sleek, your home's nestled in a secluded forest sprawl. Post-work, where would you hang out? A swanky, elite lounge, right? Not downing cheap beers in a college town.

You won't be there because you don't vibe with the common folk. You don't belong.

Now, I hear your thoughts whirring. Let's clear the fog.

The Soccer Field vs. The Basketball Court Dilemma

If you're hunting for basketball players in a soccer field, you might just be the worst soccer player out there. And that's okay. You're interested in basketball, not soccer. But here's the catch. The soccer enthusiasts might assume you're ace at basketball, making you the best basketball player in a soccer field.

Comfortable yet?

But when it's time for some basketball action, they're all about soccer. So, you either join the soccer team or play solo until you find a basketball crew. But if you find that crew, you'll have to confront your shortcomings and improve to stay in the game.

The Solution: Be Your Own Best Friend

Making sense of this whirlwind can be tricky. But let's untangle the mess. There's a little voice inside your head, a voice only you can hear. When you learn to hang with this voice, you'll find your groove.

Replace the basketball court with anything you love to do. The quest for love becomes simpler when you know where to look. Enjoy a drink or two at the bar, an art exhibition, or a movie with that voice. That's how you own yourself.

Be the Dr. Strange of your life. Hang where the elite of the elite - people like you - chill. You're likely to meet your match there. Find your happy place and spend your time there. If it's a movie theater, go watch a movie. If it's an art museum, head there.

Remember, the universe conspires to give you what you love.

Key Points

  1. A mis-match between self-perception and self-esteem often contributes to being single.
  2. Understanding and embracing your self-worth can help align your relationship expectations.
  3. Spending time doing what you love and enjoying your own company can help attract the right kind of relationship.

Elevating Love: Understanding Growth in Relationships through 'Think Like A Man

different levels on a skyscraper, representing personal growth in a relationship.

When sparks fly and hearts collide, we all find ourselves on a level playing field, standing at the Bar of Equality. You, an accomplished doctor, and them, a master of the fryer, see each other in perfect balance. Now, let’s brew a more potent love potion, shall we?

The Great Relationship Elevator Ride

Imagine a partner's growth as an elevator ride in the skyscraper of life. As they ascend, they start to see beyond your horizon, exploring realms of potential friendships or romances that were invisible before. Isn't that a fascinating thought?

The Tug of Love and Growth

Now, what if one of you hits the growth in relationships while the other decides to kick back and chill at their current floor? You start to see a new class of people that you couldn’t see before, introducing the potential for other relationships.

The Perfect Dance of Growth and Love

Ideally, the one catching the express elevator should hit the pause button and help the other to climb as well. Failing to do so means drifting apart, leaving both parties marooned in an unhappy situation. The result? A standstill, where neither grows as their energies clash instead of lifting each other up. Here’s where the plot thickens.

Think Like a Man: A Case Study

Remember the Dreamer and the “Independent Woman” from ‘Think Like A Man’? She was so obsessed with her boss-babe journey that she couldn't initially see happiness with the Dreamer. Seeking similar-minded companionship, she replaced him. The catch? She only realized the value of his dreams when they morphed into a reality she could partake in. Their relationship was strained because they weren't on the same growth trajectory. But, as all good love stories go, she learned to value his dreams and they found their way back to each other.

Key Points:

  1. Understand the concept of the "Bar of Equality" in relationships.
  2. Acknowledge the importance of growth in relationships.
  3. Learn from the storyline of 'Think Like A Man'.

Do Opposites Attract, or Does Positivity Propel?

Two smiling individuals projecting positivity and propelling each other forward.


Opposites attract, they say, a mantra touted as romantic wisdom. However, I beg to indulge you in a little different perspective - a sexier, more provocative one. Prepare to discover how the magic of "positivity propels."

When Opposites Attract

Consider this: in the land of magnetism, a positive pole and a negative pole irresistibly draw to each other. But what's truly happening? One party is forfeiting its positivity, while the other is shedding its negativity. You've probably lamented, "They're dragging my mood down!" Sound familiar? It's a textbook case of a joyful soul being sucked into the whirlpool of its somber opposite, effectively becoming a less happy version of itself.

The Myth of Repulsion

Then there's the other adage: like repels like. I dare say this is a misconstrued interpretation and a somewhat gloomy perspective on a potentially positive scenario. Instead of repelling, two similar poles - they propel! They launch each other forward in the direction they're already heading.

Positivity Propels Positivity

Imagine, a beacon of positivity encounters another. Suddenly, you have an explosion of good vibes, a positivity supernova. The same holds true for negativity, for misery does love company. Hence, you may find yourself either seeking a partner in gloom or, rather regrettably, attempting to drench a positive spirit with your gloomy showers.

But here's the thing, some of us in our darker moments will actively seek out those beaming with positivity to lift our spirits - thus, positivity propels positivity. And the mantra to remember? "Don't worry, be happy..."

Conclusion: Be 'Fuching' Selfish

The moral of this story is to be, as I'd cheekily call it, "fuching selfish." Radiate your happiness like a sun on a mission, for your joy has a contagious charm. By witnessing your boundless positivity, others may just catch a reflection of their own potential for happiness.

Key Points:

  1. Contrary to popular belief, opposites attracting can often lead to diminished happiness.
  2. The theory of similar poles repelling is misleading; positivity propels positivity.
  3. When positivity meets positivity, it amplifies exponentially.
  4. Even in negativity, the search for positivity prevails.
  5. Be "fuching selfish" – by spreading your happiness, you inspire others to do the same.

Do You Need a Mansion, or Just a Thimble of Love?

An intimate couple, smiling, showcasing the essence of premium energy.


It's not about the size of the ship, darling, it's the motion of your emotion. The intriguing sensation you feel from a gift - whether it's as petite as a thimble or as grand as a mansion - is what truly counts. That feeling? It's called "premium energy."

Does Size Really Matter?

Well, you must be curious: when does size matter, if at all? Let me pour you a glass of wisdom. Size matters, dear reader, only in two rather unfortunate scenarios: a damsel starved of emotional fulfillment or a gentleman nursing an ailing self-esteem.

Filling Her Bucket

You see, if her bucket is bone-dry, signifying a dire absence of premium energy, your sexual energy must plumb the depths. Indeed, you require a robust reservoir of sexual energy to make up for her premium energy deficit. In this case, yes, size does matter.

But wait, let's paint a different picture. Suppose you douse this lady's bucket with love until it brims, leaving only a smidge of room for sexual energy. Then, voilà, you don't need to boast a gargantuan capacity for sexual energy because she's already saturated with everything she needs. Now, any extra sexual energy you bring is simply the cherry on top.

Your Confidence, Not Your Size

Your preoccupation with size is simply a symptom of a confidence crisis. Let me tell you a little secret: if she's been around the block (and she's no virgin), her bucket might've been expanded before. But remember, as long as you can fill it, size becomes irrelevant.

Picture this, you pour your energy into her bucket, any residue from past lovers will either get vaporized or squeezed out. So, drop the anxiety, the fear - confidence is the real sex appeal here, my friend.

Conclusion: Size and Premium Energy

In conclusion, size only matters when there's a premium energy drought. So, focus on nurturing an abundant spring of premium energy instead of fretting about your size. After all, it's the feeling, the emotion, the connection that's the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Key Points:

  1. It's not about the size, but the premium energy your connection generates.
  2. Size matters only when she lacks premium energy or he lacks self-esteem.
  3. Filling her emotional bucket with love minimizes the need for vast sexual energy.
  4. Your confidence is more attractive than any physical size.
  5. The focus should be on cultivating premium energy, not fretting about size.

Unleashing Love: Say Goodbye to Control!

A man holding a woman's hand, gently guiding her along a winding path, symbolizing trust and letting go of control in a relationship.

Greetings, my friend! Join me today as we delve into the heart of our uncertainties and longings. Today's journey is about releasing control and welcoming fear. Hold onto your hat; it's an expedition worth embarking on!

Let Go of Control's Grip

Are you tired of the relentless quest for control? Control, my friend, is a guise of fear. The moment you sense control lurking, you know it's time to confront your fears. Ask yourself - how many aspects of your life are you trying to control? Now, dare to ask - how many things are you afraid of?

The Dance of Anxiety in Love

Imagine a man in love. As he falls, he is engulfed with countless anxieties. Questions swirl in his mind like a whirlwind - "Does she love me for who I am?" He devises subtle tests to seek reassurance. The notion of sharing emotions can send his heart racing. To share or to mask, that becomes the question.

The Power Struggle

Here's an intriguing observation - some women strive to control every situation. This is bound to unsettle an alpha male! And yet, I understand - it's fear echoing. It's the fear of unrequited affection. So, you instigate small tests to seek validation. The fear cycle continues. It's time for a reality check, my friend. Your fear stems from past experiences, not your partner's actions.

Welcome the Unexpected

Rather than dictating what you want for your birthday or Valentine's Day, why not let him surprise you? Don't limit the potential surprises! You might hint at a specific bracelet. Who knows? If you just suggest, you may find yourself with a matching pair of earrings!

Hand Him the Baton

Here's the crux, my friend. Allow him to take the lead. Trust in the Universe's orchestration. Even when distanced, you're never far from each other. A small shift in perspective, and you see each other in a new light. The past recedes, leaving only what brings true happiness. Realize that you're two halves of a whole. He has found his missing rib, and it keeps returning, like a boomerang.

While this might be a directed post, I hope it resonates with many!

As always, remember to embrace your individuality. In celebrating your happiness, others may see a reflection of their own joy.

"If you can’t see your success, change your vantage point"

Key Points:

  • Control is born from fear. Acknowledge it, embrace it, overcome it!
  • Fear and insecurities significantly influence our relationships.
  • Insecurities often lead to control issues, thus perpetuating an unhealthy cycle.
  • Relinquish control, have faith in your partner, and trust the Universe.
  • Recognize the unity between you and your partner.

Selfishness is Sexy: Unleash the Power of Loving Yourself!

A confident woman loving herself

Selfishness is Sexy: Unleash the Power of Loving Yourself!

Is it just me, or does the term "selfish" carry a ridiculously bad rap? I'm here to tell you that being selfish isn't a crime. In fact, it can be a saving grace, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Ladies, it's time to be the star of your own show!

Loving Yourself: The Oxygen Mask Theory

Imagine this. You're on a plane, and the oxygen masks drop down. What's the first thing you do? Secure your mask, then assist others. You see, you can't help anyone else if you're gasping for air. The same principle applies in love: you can't truly love someone else if you don't first love yourself.

Single and Selfish: Love Thyself, Change Your Dating Game

Here's a hard pill to swallow: you're single because you're not in love with yourself. Yes, I said it. Too often, we're chasing the idea of love, ignoring the essential fact that love must begin within.

When you don't love yourself, you're prone to settling, accepting less than you deserve. Self-love means setting boundaries, recognizing your worth, and not allowing anyone to devalue you.

Sell the Impulse Buy: Be Unforgettable, Not a Quick Pick

You're not a bargain buy; you're a luxury. When you love yourself, you're not a last-minute, quick pick. You're the primary reason someone walks into the store.

Social Pressures: Stop Letting Others Define Your Happiness

Isn't it time you stopped letting societal pressures dictate your happiness? If you love staying home, do it. Love to travel? Pack your bags! The key is to understand what brings you joy, then fearlessly pursue it.

Loving yourself and prioritizing your happiness reduces your dependence on external validation. It reduces the anxiety of needing someone else to fill your life's gaps. It puts you in control.

In conclusion, be SELFISH, ladies. Put your happiness first. Learn to love yourself so deeply that when someone treats you less than you deserve, you recognize it. And then, unapologetically walk away.

After all, self-love isn't just about dating; it's about living a fulfilling life!

Navigating the Love Jungle: Beware of the Venomous Heart

couple having sex while on the phone

Heads up, Singletons!

Firstly, let's get real here. Single? Partnered? It doesn't matter which side of the relationship spectrum you're on. Look around you. Anyone lurking who's occupying too much of your time without being 'the one'?

Playing Sherlock in Your Love Life

We all have these characters in our life, and they always dodge that one crucial question, "Why are you in my life?" They stutter, they stammer, not because they're clueless, but rather, they're terrified of admitting their true feelings. But hey, no bullschit responses allowed here. Let's get brutally honest and figure out their purpose in your life.

The Art of 'You-Time' and 'The One'

If you're flying solo, there's no need to despair. Dream up your perfect partner and set the stage. Into art? Make the galleries your second home. More of an outdoorsy type? Hit those hiking trails. Don't let bad past experiences color your present. Just because you picked up a guy at a bar and he turned out to be a drink-loving disaster doesn't mean every bar guy is a ticking beer bomb.

Fear: Your Door to Success

Gentlemen, it's time to embrace that fear. That's your ticket to success. You see a gorgeous lady, your eyes linger, and voila, you're caught. But don't let that frighten you. Own it! If you're brazen enough to admire her, be brave enough to admit it. Got caught in a Zack Morris time-freeze? Well, that's her fault for being so breathtakingly beautiful.

The Story of Marc, Shelby, Eleanor, and Jacob

Let's delve into a little tale from my own life, introducing four friends: Marc, Shelby, Eleanor, and Jacob. Marc and Shelby are dating, as are Eleanor and Jacob. But while Eleanor and Jacob are floating on cloud nine, Marc's turning into a verbal Godzilla, hurling abusive words at Shelby.

The Venomous Snake in the Grass

This is where the plot thickens. Unbeknownst to Shelby, Marc's pouring out his heart to Eleanor, painting a dreary picture of his relationship. What's worse, he's slowly trying to sell Eleanor a dream. He's weaving a web, setting her up for the snake's strike. And poor Jacob, oblivious to Marc's intentions, encourages this communication.

Identifying the Poison

Beware, ladies and gentlemen, of such serpents in your life. They strike when you least expect it, paralyzing you with their potent venom, sowing seeds of doubt and confusion in your relationships.

The Key Takeaways:

  1. Be aware of the people in your life and question their intent.
  2. Embrace your solo status and shape your path towards attracting the right partner.
  3. Don't let fear hinder your pursuit of love.
  4. Be vigilant of snakes who misuse friendship to meddle in relationships.