Ah, the barbershop - a carnival of conversations, an Olympic arena of fiery debates, where a guy can be a 'Guy.' Each visit is a ride through a labyrinth of chatter, some sensible, some random. But today, my dear readers, the conversation took an exciting detour into my lane. Buckle up!
You know the guy - always trying to ruffle feathers with his tales of conquest. So, in walks Mr. "I've-Got-It-All," attempting to assert his coolness. Not on my watch, bud. Here's the juicy bit:
Johnny Everready: "So, my side-piece asked me, 'Is this just about the fun in bed?' I said, 'No way, I like you.' What would you guys say?"
Cue the laughter, the applause, the cheerleading. But I, the relationship whisperer, decided to shake things up a bit:
Swagger Coxch: "ABSOLUTELY! But darling, you do that little thing that drives me wild!" Of course, that was a slick lie. I added, "Isn't she supposed to be your side-piece?"
For the uninitiated, a "side-piece" or "jump-off" is someone you call for some no-strings-attached action. But apparently, not everyone got that memo.
Our man, Johnny, wasn't keen on being forthright. He feared losing the "benefits" of his side-piece arrangement. To that, I say, "Confidence issue?" Nope, says Johnny, he couldn't care less.
But when I probed, Johnny tried to deflect:
Johnny Everready: "Have you dealt with many women? Are you married?"
And I, ever the gentleman, put him back in his place, "Not up for discussion, champ. You're the one trying to play Kanye here."
What unfolded next was Johnny admitting his five-year "affair" while being married. My stance was clear: "You're playing a single man's game while married, bro. You're basically married to two women now."
Johnny thought he found a way out, claiming he did things with his side-piece he couldn't do with his wife.
Swagger Coxch: "Then, you chose wrong, Johnny. You've suppressed your desires or lied to your wife from the beginning. You should have found someone who's into the same stuff as you. You wouldn't have to cheat then."
To cut a long story short, Johnny confessed to being greedy, to wanting his wife and his side-piece. I left him with this thought, "If you haven't shared enough emotions with your wife, or before you married your wife, that might be the problem. You're dealing with two packages, each with its own set of headaches."
This barbershop tale of love, lust, and misplaced affections left me wondering. But what do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
And remember, always be fuching selfish, because your happiness can inspire others.
"If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."