Love Isn't a 50/50 Game: Why Full Effort is Essential in Relationships

Couple holding hands symbolizing full effort in relationships

Consider this - what's the score when it comes to your relationship? You've probably heard that love is a 50/50 game but let me be the one to break the news - that mindset is killing your relationship. In school, if you scored a 50%, you flunked, right? So, why are we applying failing standards to our love lives?

The "F" in 50/50 Stands for Failure

Love is not a game where you can get by on half-effort. Applying a 50/50 approach to your relationship is like getting a constant "F". In our society, "F" stands for failure! So why are you setting your relationship up to fail?

Challenging What We Were Taught

We've all been taught gender norms - men are supposed to do this, women are supposed to do that. The problem? This mindset is dated and counterproductive. It's time to debunk these myths and shift your mindset to saving your relationship.

The Winning Formula in Love

Take a page from Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen's playbook. They didn't achieve six championship rings by each putting in 50%. No, each of them showed up, game after game, giving 100% effort. If Pippen only gave 20% during Jordan's infamous flu game, the Bulls wouldn't have won the title.

Striving for 100%

In relationships, success lies in both parties committing to giving 100%. If you're only showing up with 50%, then you're just averaging out to a "C" - and who wants an average love life?

To truly experience a fulfilling and successful relationship, strive to give 100%, and encourage your partner to do the same. It's about both of you contributing fully to create a flourishing relationship.

Key Points

  1. Redefining Relationship Expectations: The idea that relationships should be 50/50 is an outdated mindset that can harm the health and growth of a partnership. In reality, successful relationships require 100% effort from both parties.
  2. Challenging Gender Norms: It's important to debunk the traditional gender norms we've been taught. Both parties in a relationship should contribute fully, regardless of gender.
  3. The Power of 100% Commitment: Much like a successful sports team, where every player must give their all for the team to win, both parties in a relationship need to give their all for it to thrive. Using the metaphor of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, they won six rings because each brought their 100% every night.
  4. Failure with 50%: When you bring only 50% to the relationship, it averages out to 75% when paired with your partner's 100%. This is comparable to a "C" grade, or just average – and who wants an average love life?
  5. Strive for Success: In order to experience a fulfilling and successful relationship, both partners must strive to give 100% to each other and the relationship.

Tied in Love? Discover the Spicy Secret of Master & Slave Dynamics!

A silhouette of a couple caught in a passionate dance, representing the Master-Slave dynamic.

The Delicate Meaning of Mastery and Slavery

The words of Swagger Coxch pierce through the veil of obscurity, "A slave that does not appreciate the fruit of their labor is doomed to remain a slave. A master that does not appreciate the fruit of the slave is doomed to become a slave." Confusing? Hold my hand, and let's journey down the rabbit hole.

Anatomy of Desires: Who's the Real Master?

In essence, whatever you yearn for becomes your Master, and subsequently, you morph into its Slave. The Slave, to break free, must find value in their labor's fruits. If I relish gardening, your penalty of forcing me to tend it loses its sting; you'll need a fresh tactic.

The Fickle Master: A Tale of Two Faces

An unappreciative Master views the Slave as a mere tool, devoid of humanity. Driving the Slave to exhaustion or desertion, the Master, now faced with an unkempt garden, becomes the new Slave. Only upon the exit of the Slave does the Master truly comprehend the lost beauty. And the Slave? Could they ever ascend to Mastery?

The Slave's Ascendancy: Appreciation as the Key

For the Slave to break the chains, they must bask in their labor's fruits. Focusing merely on the task at hand, they overlook the blossoming garden, the fruits of their sweat. Whether facing an unappreciative or appreciative Master, their fate remains the same – bound in perpetual servitude.

Master-Slave Dynamics: A Ubiquitous Dance

This intricate mental warfare of Master and Slave is not confined to hypotheticals. It lurks around every corner of our lives, affecting friendships and romantic relationships alike.

Friendships: A Balancing Act

The Master-Slave dichotomy reveals itself when one party needs the other. Whether it's free hairdos, attention from the opposite sex, or car rides, dependency fuels the power dynamic. The true test of friendship arrives when the Slave gains independence – if the Master was unappreciative, separation looms. But if the insignia of Master and Slave dissipate, true friendship could flourish.

Romantic Relationships: A Power Play

Our society grooms' boys to be Masters – to dominate, protect, and provide. The man, desiring to be the head of the house, often finds himself as the unappreciative Master, pushing his female counterpart towards emotional exhaustion. This constant pushing and driving, absent appreciation, leaves the relationship barren. The woman, oblivious to her own worth, remains the Slave.

"Independent" Women: The Role Reversal

But what of the dependent woman striving for control, aspiring to be the Master? If a man appreciates his own worth, the woman risks becoming the unappreciative Master, doomed to become a Slave. This role reversal often victimizes husbands.

In every facet of our lives, the Master-Slave dynamic subtly operates, demanding appreciation as the antidote. Ignoring these fundamental dynamic risks missing the beauty of the ocean for the ripples in the water. In our ‘what-have-you-done-for-me-lately’ society, it's crucial to appreciate every action and its rippling effects on our lives. Remember, you are allowed to say no, and you are also allowed to appreciate.

Key Points:

  1. The Master-Slave dynamic is a mental game played in all aspects of life.
  2. Appreciation can shift the power balance, leading to a more equal dance.
  3. Friendships and relationships often hide this power struggle.
  4. The key to escaping this dynamic is finding value in your own work and worth.
  5. And remember, it’s a dance, not a war.

The Chains of Love: How Emotions Bind Us

The Chains of Love & Attachment Theory

Alright, folks, hold onto your hats. I'm about to blow your mind with something I call the Chains of Love, a concept tied closely to my Attachment theory. Hear me out.

Emotional Attachments: The Universal Truth

We all have emotions tethered to something. Think of your favorite song, movie, or year. Ask yourself, "why is it my favorite?" The answer will probably be something comforting, a memory or an emotion.

Theory Explained: Emotional Triggers and Changing Vests

Now, let me lay it down for you. There are two ways to look at it: you've already got something that is your favorite and I attach myself to that, or I give you something to associate me with. All I need is a moment. A moment that will resonate with you unless replaced by another. I call this emotional trigger and changing vests.

Illustrative Scenario: Experiencing the Chains of Love

Let's walk you through an example. Picture yourself in an evening gown, at a beauty pageant. The slow jam, Brian McKnight's "Back at One", filling the air. You chose that song, and I pick up on that because it must mean something to you. Maybe it was your dad's favorite song as he and your mom danced in perfect harmony.

The Emotional Imprint: Tying it All Together

Fast forward, and you're at my place, five songs deep into a session of musical roulette, and guess what comes up? Brian McKnight's "Back at One". Our laughter fills the room, our smiles meet, and our flirtatious banter rides the rhythm of the song. I offer you a drink, leaving you alone with the song, stirring the cocktail of past and present.

Culmination: The Chain Effect

The next song is overtly sexual, and again, I notice your attentiveness. I ask why you chose that song but cut you off by moving closer. Our hearts race, filling you with a raw, primal instinct for love, like when Neo saved Trinity in The Matrix. This moment marks the difference in our future. Now, emotionally, I have been part of your life since the moment that song imprinted on your heart... I am now chained to your emotions, and you have to start back at one.

Wrapping Up: Assistance and Final Thoughts

I hope this elucidates my theory on emotional attachment. Remember, don't hesitate to reach out if you need help with any relationship matters, drop a comment, shoot me an email, or stay tuned.

Sign-Off: Being Gloriously Selfish

And always remember, be gloriously selfish. Let your joy radiate, inspiring others to view themselves the same way. "If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."

Key Points:

  1. The Chains of Love: A theory about emotional attachment to memorable moments and things.
  2. Emotional Trigger & Changing Vests: The mechanism by which emotions are attached and swapped between people.
  3. Significance of Music: Music as a powerful trigger for emotional memories and connections.
  4. Attachment in Action: An example of how attachment theory works in practice, using music as a conduit for emotional bonding.
  5. Be Gloriously Selfish: Emphasizing the importance of personal happiness, which can inspire similar positivity in others.

Mastering the Art of Old School Love: Your Secret to Lasting Happiness

Cassette tapes with love songs written on it to symbolize old school love

A Lovers' Quest: Searching for Enough

Listen closely, because I know why you're here, yearning for answers. You've been dancing around this question: why aren't you good enough? You're craving more, wanting to uncover the secret to becoming enough, to becoming irresistible. You're eager to satisfy his needs, yet you're left thirsty for your own desires. But darling, what do both of you truly crave?

The answer? "Old School Love". And here’s how to capture it.

A Golden Flashback: The Roots of Love

Cast your mind back to childhood – we're frolicking on the playground, and I'm engrossed in a game of football or maybe basketball with the boys. You're there, ostensibly with your friends, but your gaze is on me. Unknown to you, my eyes are stealing glances back.

You’re amidst the radiant sun, a field dotted with dandelions ready to be blown into the wind, and honeysuckle's sweet scent wafts on the breeze. You scoff at us boys sucking the nectar from the honeysuckle, but when I coax you into trying it, you discover its hidden sweetness. That's the birth of trust. I dash off to rejoin the game, leaving you behind with a sweet memory. That’s “Old School Love”, the flavor of trust, of sweet moments and the creation of a bond that time cannot erase.

The Key to His Heart: Bring on the Fun!

Gentlemen, we are eternally children at heart, craving fun and camaraderie. When we meet our "Great White Buffalo", our match in wit and joy, we can't help but commit. A perfect balance forms when you effortlessly blend into our social circle, earning their respect, their laughter, and their admiration. Suddenly, his friends become yours, and vice versa.

Become the source of positivity, and people will flock to your energy. It’s simple, really: men seek fun. And when you match his friends in joy and carefreeness, he’ll have no option but to commit.

The Secret to Lasting Love: Involve Yourself

Stay atop the fun hierarchy by involving yourself in his world. Pretend, if you must. Over time, you'll come to enjoy his passions, further strengthening your bond. Remember, we men are creatures of emotion. These feelings can shift, but when you integrate into our interests, you ensure your position in our lives. Look at the bigger picture of our actions and understand our peculiar habits. We're like electrons in a chaotic dance - decipher our patterns, and you'll find meaning.

The Power of Re-creation: Old School Love

Recreate that old school love every day. You see, darling, we may not vocalize our commitment, but our actions speak volumes. You need to listen, to understand our non-verbal cues.

Mirror us, as we mirror you. When you inject fun into our lives, we reciprocate by stepping up. Together, let's keep the flame of old school love burning.

Old School Love: The Lyrics that Capture it All

Lupe Fiasco said it best:

"Give me that old school love right now I'm leaving it all up to you darling, giving you everything you want And give me that old school love right now You know when I hold you, you won't be alone..."

Key Points

  1. Seek out the foundations of “Old School Love”.
  2. Understand the importance of fun in your relationship.
  3. Involve yourself in his interests.
  4. Listen to non-verbal cues.
  5. Rekindle the flame of old school love every day.

Love: The Business That Pays In Happiness

A man and woman shaking hands

The Business of You: The Birth of a Corporation

Ever thought why we say, "Stay out of my business"? Funny how 'business' substitutes for 'personal life.' It's a subtle hint, my friend - you, yes you, are a business, from the moment you enter this world. Remember that 'birth certificate'? That's your business license. See, you were always meant for business!

Mergers of Love: Relationships Recast

What's better than a thriving business? Two of them merging! Enter romantic relationships, the merger of two successful ventures, each with their own assets and liabilities. As these businesses amalgamate, we become more than just people in love. We form a Corporation of Hearts. In a business, we stay focused, leaving emotions aside. What if we approach our relationships the same way? Let's take a look.

Emotional Balance Sheets: Weighing Assets and Liabilities

Every business decision you make in your relationship should pass through the litmus test - "Is this a good business decision?" The assets and liabilities you bring to the merger now belong to the corporation that your love has created. Each disagreement is a business meeting where emotions are sidelined, and the point at stake is tackled head-on.

Personal Life vs. Business Life: The Art of Differentiation

Don't get me wrong. There is a time and place for emotions and feelings - within you, the individual, the Person, separate from the business. They are your personal companions, residing within the confinements of your 'personal life.' They are about self, shaped by perception. Since we know perception can be as varied as the number of stars in the night sky, it's clear - they don't have a seat at the business table.

The Art of Conducting Business

You are a business and you've got to play the part. Every action in your relationship should echo the calculated precision of a business move. Feelings and emotions? They make you human, not a battery. However, they are the weekend warriors, not your 9-5 troops.

Key Points:

  1. The moment you're born, you're a business.
  2. Relationships are akin to business mergers.
  3. Separate emotions from business dealings in relationships.
  4. Feelings belong to personal life, not the business.

Unzipping the Sizzling Truth Behind Cheating: It’s All About Energy!

Silhouettes of a couple caught in a heated argument

Intro: The Tantalizing Tango of Energy

We've all been there – that intoxicating dance of courtship, sizzling with promise. When everything aligns, it's electric! But what happens when the energy balance tips? When you can't keep her brimming with your brand of premium energy, the sparks start to flicker out. It's like a romantic power outage!

How Misalignment Sparks Cheating

Once your love battery starts to drain, you lose ground. Suddenly, you're not standing toe-to-toe anymore. She begins to eye the big leagues - hunks she previously couldn’t spot. This energy misalignment can often lead to those forbidden ‘C’ words - Cheating and Cuckolding.

Heading: Discovering Your Inner Beast

Men, let's face it, we're beasts. And when our energy overflows, we seek an outlet. Meet Eleanor – she can handle the extra juice. But she’s not your significant other, is she? You’re playing with fire, and before you know it, you’re singeing your perfectly groomed brows.

How the Beast Gets Busted

Ironically, it's your own brain that snitches on you. Post fling, you’re likely to fill your woman’s bucket with a love cocktail, mixed with a dash of something else (ahem, guilt!). It's like switching her from full-fat Coke to Diet. She'll taste the difference.

Key Points:

  1. Energy balance is key in any relationship.
  2. Cheating is often the outcome of energy imbalance.
  3. Over or under-release of energy can trigger cheating.
  4. Your own mind can create scenarios leading to you being caught.

Mastering the Art of Love’s Sweetest Lies

The Spellbinding Lure of Love's Illusions

Hey there, love-bitten soul, ever been enchanted by the magical world of dreams, where fantasies feel so incredibly real? Ah, but what if I told you this is not an exclusive realm of sleep, but instead, a playground for those savvy in the art of romance. Let's dive headfirst into the sweet abyss of the dream peddler’s world.

Love’s Whisper: Too Much Information, Too Soon?

We meet, and there you go, spilling your soul like a cocktail mix of secrets and dreams. You paint me a vivid picture of your world - your family, your upbringing, your dreams and fears. It’s almost as if I’ve been given a backstage pass to the theatre of your mind. But, darling, where is the mystery in that?

Bullet Points for Heart Shots

Armed with your stories, I've got a loaded arsenal. And in this intricate dance of love, knowledge is power. You've generously supplied the ammunition without ever stopping to unearth my own story. This is where things get dicey, sweetheart.

Pulling Love’s Emotional Trigger

You've likely heard that love is a battlefield. I am on the frontline, holding the emotional trigger close to my heart. I strategically share snippets of my story, carefully curating the tale to keep your interest while protecting my vulnerabilities. You get the highlights, and I remain the intriguing enigma, my secrets safe and sound.

Painting Our Future with the Colors of Your Past

Now, here's where things get really interesting. With your dreams and values as my palette, I paint us a deliciously tempting future. Imagine, years from now, us returning to this very spot. We're sipping on your favorite drinks, reminiscing about our humble beginnings. It's a powerful image, isn't it? And that, my dear, is how I shoot my shot.

Love’s Illusion: A Beautiful Lie?

By guiding your thoughts, I help you visualize a future teeming with shared moments and emotions. If you're completely swept up in this dream, then the game is over, darling. Waking up to a reality that doesn't match the illusion can leave you with an emotional hangover. But remember, I'm just playing the game.

A Blast from the Past, or a Glimpse into the Future?

Depending on what matters to you more – the past or the future – I'll expertly weave myself into that narrative. Want a knight in shining armor from your past? Consider it done. Dreaming about a future with a successful entrepreneur? Voila, there I am. It's a masterful illusion that ensures I remain unforgettable.

A Cruel Game, or a Lesson in Love?

This may sound cruel, but consider it a lesson in love's intricate game. Take the time to know your partner. If you do, you could either expose the illusion or discover a shared dream worth chasing. That's the risky allure of love's sweetest lies.

When Reality Bites

Ever wondered why you fell head over heels so quickly, or why a brief encounter left such a lasting impression? Your emotions were masterfully manipulated, creating an illusion so potent it feels like a shared history. It's an intoxicating blend of reality and dreams, making for a riveting love story.

The Endgame: Love or Illusion?

Remember, darling, love is more chess than checkers. While I might seem like a dream weaver, pulling strings and directing the show, I also yearn for a shared victory. We're in this game together, and both winning is the ultimate goal. But can you differentiate between real love and a beautifully spun illusion?

Summary: Don't Just Dream, Discern

Can't think like a man? No problem. Think like a woman – fiercely protective and discerning. Guard your emotions as fiercely as you would your most precious treasures. Remember, dreams are alluring but discernment is key. Be sure that the dream being sold to you is one worth buying. After all, love’s sweetest lies can quickly morph into bitter truths.

Key Points

  1. The art of love's manipulation is intriguing and complex.
  2. Oversharing early on may make you vulnerable to emotional manipulation.
  3. Painting a future using the colors of your dreams can be a powerful tool in love's game.
  4. Take time to know your partner, it can expose illusions or uncover shared dreams.
  5. Love is a game, and discernment is your greatest weapon.

Is He a Keeper or a Leaper? Find Out Why He's Not Committing!

Sexy, Big Black woman wearing black tank top

"Is He Playing Hard to Get, or Just Not That Into You?" - A Swagger Coxch Unravels the Truth

Are you ready to delve deep into the intricate labyrinth of commitment and uncover what's truly behind those non-committal actions? Strap on your emotional armors, ladies. It's going to be a bumpy ride!

Shiny Silver Bullets or Commitment Phobia?

Let's start by addressing a burning question – do you really want him to commit? Now, be honest with yourself. Because if you do, you need to realize that the emotional gun he's holding might just be loaded with silver bullets. Are you controlling the bullets while letting him hold the trigger? Think about it.

The Tough Love Dilemma

Some men lack the understanding of motivation due to their upbringing and resort to tough love. You don't like being called fat. He knows it, yet he keeps on doing it. He even watches you cry. But still, you stay... This screams a lack of confidence or some deep-rooted issue that makes you comfortable in such a situation.

The Father-Daughter Paradox

Growing up with a father who did not flirt with you can make you feel self-conscious. This could leave you without the confidence to recognize when a man truly loves you, or even how to love him back. Remember, your self-worth isn't defined by anyone else. You are your own beacon of light!

The Realization of Inner Glow

It's high time to recognize your inner charisma. Demand respect and the treatment you deserve. Once you realize your true inner glow, you'll be on the right path to finding the right man.

The Commitment Conundrum

Ask yourself, "Why should he commit?" If you truly believe in your worth, you wouldn't fear asking him. If he doesn't respond positively, remember that you deserve better.

The Misunderstood Power of Communication

Commitment doesn't have to come with a title. The power lies in communication. A title gives you some claim to the other person, but it doesn't necessarily denote commitment.

Balancing the Emotional Scales

The emotional balance in a relationship should be equal. We, as men, want to be the buyer, but that doesn't mean we own you. If you hold the emotional trigger, we're both equal players.

Key Points:

  1. Before demanding commitment, ensure you really want it.
  2. The lack of confidence can lead to tolerating disrespect in relationships.
  3. Recognize your inner charisma and demand the respect you deserve.
  4. Open communication is crucial for understanding commitment levels.