YouTube fame, I'm coming for you, right? Hang on, it's not that straightforward. I had my YouTube channel up and running, but it felt void. It echoed my words, but where was the soul, the fire, the essence of "me"?
In this conundrum, I did what any ambitious man wrapped in confusion would do: I dialed up my brothers. We spoke, and boy, did we speak. Each conversation felt like a marathon, not a sprint. The question on repeat was: How do I infuse my YouTube screen with my personality?
My middle brother, ever the straightforward one, said, "Stick to five minutes, max." The youngest, a pragmatist at heart, suggested a hook to intrigue viewers but emphasized brevity. Finally, my eldest brother (yeah, we're Irish twins) advised me to visualize my audience and connect directly to them. In essence: Be exciting, be concise, and please, stop rambling.
You see, we were raised by a warrior's code: no bragging rights for being a fighter unless you've weathered a few brawls. This motto shaped me into a real-life warrior, but how to weave those experiences into a captivating narrative was my challenge. My baby brother's advice? "Be you, but in less than 10 minutes." Short and sweet - got it.
My middle brother, ever the custodian of the code, warned against "snitching," or oversharing. Yet, he also proposed sharing tales that truly help others, following a "narrate first, elucidate later" strategy.
On the other hand, my eldest brother highlighted my ability to empathize. He advised me to leverage my emotional intelligence and confidence to make a real impact. "You've always been the protector of your loved ones with tenacity. So, do just that," he said.
So, here's the grand plan: I'm bringing all of that to my channel. I'll share my warrior stories, my learnings, my fervor, and my persona, all in under 10 minutes. YouTube, brace yourself, I'm coming for you!
Appreciation: a loaded word, isn't it? Do you truly comprehend its depth? More importantly, do you feel appreciated? Relationships, much like everything else, operate within a value system, a system we often fail to understand fully. Allow me to guide you through it.
Let's go on a little virtual journey, shall we? A quick search on the mighty internet, our all-knowing friend Google, yields the definition of appreciation as "the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something." Merriam-Webster offers similar sentiments, highlighting admiration, approval, gratitude, and intriguingly, an "increase in value."
That's right, appreciation translates to an increase in value. I delved deeper into the concept of value in my previous post, where I explored the adage, "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" It essentially emphasized the human tendency to invest in things that yield benefits, and ignore those that don't.
Now, here's where the plot thickens: the value concept is two-fold, comprised of intrinsic and extrinsic components. Intrinsic value, or self-worth, hinges on confidence. Your level of self-assuredness influences your perceived worth in any situation. Extrinsic value, on the other hand, is the worth society assigns to you.
Consider a penny: an unassuming coin, right? However, its intrinsic value lies in the copper it embodies. Yet, most of us overlook its potential, focusing on the nominal value instead. Similarly, we often undervalue our intrinsic worth and let society dictate our value.
Here's a revelation: you can't truly appreciate anything if your self-worth fluctuates with societal opinions. You might idolize others based on their societal standing, thinking that their pedestal is the ultimate goal. But, my dear friend, true appreciation begins when you start valuing yourself, independent of the world's judgement.
So, should you be appreciated? Absolutely, especially if you've contributed value beyond the baseline, uplifting others and the world around you. Should you feel appreciated? Again, yes, if you acknowledge your growing self-confidence. Lastly, do you understand appreciation? I believe, after this enlightening exploration, the answer is a resounding "Yes!"
Imagine reconnecting with a charming gentleman after years of lost contact. He invites you to a dinner he prepared to prove his culinary skills. As you enjoy the delicious meal, a question arises—what comes after dinner? This story delves into the dynamics of self-worth, relationships, and the price we put on ourselves.
After savoring an exquisite meal, you faced a choice. Do you leave after grading his cooking skills? Do you suggest watching Netflix? Or do you consider going out for dessert? Ultimately, you decided to pay him with more than just attention or physical cash. The value placed on the dinner and effort led to a deeper connection—the intimate exchange of emotions, a dinner smash.
But here's the twist. Despite the connection formed, you found yourself left alone, unsatisfied. It doesn't matter how incredible the intercourse was or how much the meal cost. What truly matters is how much you value yourself. Did you come at too low a price? Did you sell yourself short?
It's time to increase your self-esteem and expand your bucket. Relationships should be based on mutual respect, appreciation, and genuine value, not a mere transactional exchange. The worth you assign yourself sets the standard for how others will perceive and treat you.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar scenario? How did it make you feel? Share your experiences and join the discussion on valuing oneself in relationships.
The words of Swagger Coxch pierce through the veil of obscurity, "A slave that does not appreciate the fruit of their labor is doomed to remain a slave. A master that does not appreciate the fruit of the slave is doomed to become a slave." Confusing? Hold my hand, and let's journey down the rabbit hole.
In essence, whatever you yearn for becomes your Master, and subsequently, you morph into its Slave. The Slave, to break free, must find value in their labor's fruits. If I relish gardening, your penalty of forcing me to tend it loses its sting; you'll need a fresh tactic.
An unappreciative Master views the Slave as a mere tool, devoid of humanity. Driving the Slave to exhaustion or desertion, the Master, now faced with an unkempt garden, becomes the new Slave. Only upon the exit of the Slave does the Master truly comprehend the lost beauty. And the Slave? Could they ever ascend to Mastery?
For the Slave to break the chains, they must bask in their labor's fruits. Focusing merely on the task at hand, they overlook the blossoming garden, the fruits of their sweat. Whether facing an unappreciative or appreciative Master, their fate remains the same – bound in perpetual servitude.
This intricate mental warfare of Master and Slave is not confined to hypotheticals. It lurks around every corner of our lives, affecting friendships and romantic relationships alike.
The Master-Slave dichotomy reveals itself when one party needs the other. Whether it's free hairdos, attention from the opposite sex, or car rides, dependency fuels the power dynamic. The true test of friendship arrives when the Slave gains independence – if the Master was unappreciative, separation looms. But if the insignia of Master and Slave dissipate, true friendship could flourish.
Our society grooms' boys to be Masters – to dominate, protect, and provide. The man, desiring to be the head of the house, often finds himself as the unappreciative Master, pushing his female counterpart towards emotional exhaustion. This constant pushing and driving, absent appreciation, leaves the relationship barren. The woman, oblivious to her own worth, remains the Slave.
But what of the dependent woman striving for control, aspiring to be the Master? If a man appreciates his own worth, the woman risks becoming the unappreciative Master, doomed to become a Slave. This role reversal often victimizes husbands.
In every facet of our lives, the Master-Slave dynamic subtly operates, demanding appreciation as the antidote. Ignoring these fundamental dynamic risks missing the beauty of the ocean for the ripples in the water. In our ‘what-have-you-done-for-me-lately’ society, it's crucial to appreciate every action and its rippling effects on our lives. Remember, you are allowed to say no, and you are also allowed to appreciate.
Hey there, brave hearts! Ever wondered why your love life seems like a rollercoaster that only goes downhill? Let's untangle this mystery.
Fascinated by the wild side of love, aren't we all? You live this crazy, thrilling lifestyle because it sparks joy in your heart, just like that lightning bolt emoji you love to use. Yet, you find yourself drawn to someone totally opposite because, well, that's what they expect.
The world around you has expectations, huh? Your status in society comes with a manual for the 'right' partner. Does this sound familiar?
It all boils down to one thing: Confidence. Yes, my friend, it's that simple and that complex. The partner you choose is a mirror of your confidence, and if you're too scared to embrace your true desires, that reflection gets blurry.
Ever had that thought? She must have been this wild and exciting for someone else. If she hadn't, you wouldn't be drawn to her. Simple logic, right?
Here's where it gets interesting: You suppress your true feelings, choosing what you believe others want you to have. But hey, where's your happiness in this scenario?
Time to make a decision, folks. Love women who love women? Bring your partner home and introduce her as part of your family. It's your happiness on the line, after all.
What if you bring home her new BFF, and then you cheat on her or worse? Sounds like a twisted sitcom, doesn't it? But it's real life for some. True manhood is about making decisions, not wallowing in indecision.
Welcome to the world of love, a mysterious place where we often trade authenticity for approval. It's the arena where our dashing representative – that slick, suave version of ourselves – steps forward, ready to engage in a passionate tango. This deceptive dance is what I call the Seductive Chameleon Effect.
When we start dating, we're authentic – we're real. Then, as we begin to fall for someone, we instinctively start mirroring them. It's the highest form of flattery, or so we've been led to believe. Consider the Casanova who turns into a gentle romantic because he's found 'The One'. Love is his kryptonite, his transformation catalyst. He feels the need to convince his lady that his philandering days are behind him. Why? Because he realizes the damage he's done, the hearts he's toyed with – but trust me, darling, I'm digressing.
Here's what happens next. You begin to mold your world to her liking, even sacrificing your pleasures for hers. Picture this: You're a culinary maestro who loves whipping up hearty Spaghetti Alfredo, eating it right out of the bowl. But when she's around, you become a gourmet chef, serving the same dish in exquisite Nora Fleming dishes. That's the Seductive Chameleon Effect in action.
This chameleon dance continues until you're comfortable enough in the relationship to be yourself again. Suddenly, she's exposed to the real you – the guy who enjoys spaghetti on the couch while binging College Football all Saturday in his favorite (slightly worn-out) boxer briefs. This is where the confusion sets in; she never knew this was the real you.
In love, our auto-pilot often takes the wheel, leading us to make changes we aren't conscious of. Like me, you might find yourself trying to persuade your partner that you've left behind some old habits or principles. Here's the catch: love's compelling tug-of-war keeps you grounded, despite your instincts urging you to flee. And the most exciting part? She's performing the same dance too!
The antidote to the Seductive Chameleon Effect? Simple. Embrace your selfishness. Pursue your passions. Love in your unique way. Be present, not a puppet controlled by auto-pilot. We're all shape-shifters, constantly evolving with every tick of the clock.
Adopt the "Love Me or Leave Me" philosophy – a straightforward, yet powerful mantra that encourages acceptance of yourself and your partner, just as you both are. Don't settle for less, whether it's a mediocre pair of shoes or a lackluster Spaghetti Alfredo presentation. But keep in mind, the 80/20 rule before you make a run for the exit.
To truly ignite our relationships, we must bypass the Seductive Chameleon Effect and prioritize our happiness. Anything less leads to an inevitable downward spiral.
So, dare to be selfish and remember, your happiness is your greatest seduction. As always, "If you can't see your success, change your vantage point.”
In the world of romance, it seems like we're trapped in a constant cycle, a relentless quest for 'more.' We give our hearts, our souls, yet we always fear it's not enough. But what if I told you that what feels like 'nothing' might be the key to 'everything'?
We often view 'nothing' with fear - an empty space where love should be. But could 'nothing' instead be a sacred space, a place where love can grow in its purest form? When we stop trying to fill every moment with gestures and words, we create room for the magic of unspoken understanding, for love that is so profound, so deep, it doesn't need to be declared to be felt.
Herein lies the magic: when we cease our relentless pursuit of 'more', we allow 'nothing' to blossom into 'everything'. This might seem paradoxical, but it's a truth deeply rooted in human connection. When we let go of our need for affirmation and start to appreciate the beauty of silent understanding, we discover that what seemed like 'nothing' is indeed 'everything'.
So, how do we achieve this transformation? By embracing the art of letting go. When we release our preconceived notions of what love 'should' look like, we make space for what it 'could' be. In this state of openness and acceptance, we find that we are indeed enough, and our love story transforms from a quest for more into a celebration of everything we already have.
"It's never enough. Until it's nothing, and then it's everything." -Swagger Coxch
It's a reminder to us all - let's stop chasing 'enough' and start embracing the 'nothing'. Only then can we unlock the door to 'everything'.
Just the other day at work, a perplexed colleague asked, "How do you stay so upbeat and positive amidst all the chaos? We're short-staffed, and you're shouldering most of the burden!" My secret? A little game I play, which, as I animatedly described, pulled in curious onlookers from around the office. Intrigued? Let me spill the beans.
Think of it as navigating with a "Negative Energy Shield," charged, ready, and waiting to spring into action. It's like having an automatic defense mechanism programmed to identify and fend off negative energy. There are sneak attacks, of course, ones I haven't recognized yet, but once I do, I prepare myself to combat the threat. It's a mental chess game that lasts all day, every day.
For every positive action I make, I notch up my "positive momentum points," strengthening my energy shield. The goal is simple – turn every negative into a positive. No longer a threat, my shield doesn't need to rise against it. This game forces me to adopt a positive outlook, fueling my momentum forward.
Each goal set is a potential negative hit to dodge. The only time I can feel down is if I don't learn from these 'attacks.' The mantra is straightforward: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I won't let any negative event hit me twice. I neutralize the threat and harness it to my advantage.
The real game-changer? Perception. If you perceive an event as negative, it will be. Flip the coin, perceive it as positive, and voila, it morphs into positivity.
Consider a peculiar dream I was told about recently. I, your Swagger Coach, was in a Maserati, while the dreamer was starving. The dream was spun to portray me as selfish, but all I saw was a Maserati – an emblem of positivity. I deciphered 'starving' not as an absolute state but as a relative one. Perhaps they hadn't eaten at that moment, but they might have been returning from an extravagant event, shopping spree, or even their mansion. I inferred the 'starvation' as a mental state - they were famished for the mental stimulation I possessed. This is where the perspective shifts from scarcity to abundance. After all, my joy springs from witnessing others' happiness.
Remember, be unapologetically selfish – your joy can inspire joy in others. "If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."
Allow me to kick off with a gem from the gripping movie 'Ender's Game':
"The true story is the one that the audience members create in their minds, guided and shaped by my text, but then transformed, elucidated, expanded, edited, and clarified by their own experience, their own desires, their own hopes and fears."
Isn't that a fascinating perspective? As I delve into texts or absorb words from a speaker, I plunge into an intimate conversation with the author or the speaker. I heed their message, all the while weaving in my own interpretations, my experiences. Every bit of information I consume - it's meant for me. It's a conversation, and I'm all ears.
Ever felt like a sermon or seminar was uncannily tailored for you? As if the speaker was directly addressing your deepest thoughts? If their words trigger emotions within you, it's time to self-reflect. Do you resonate with their message? If yes, you're in harmony with their thoughts. If not, or if you feel cornered, it's time for a bit of soul-searching.
Here's a trick - listen closely, not just to the words, but to the underlying message. What's the overall essence? We often get caught up in 'trigger words,' momentarily disconnecting from the conversation, lost in our daydreams or roused by a word we associate negatively with. This selective hearing disrupts our understanding of the 'big picture.'
Such emotional reactions can lead to misunderstandings in business discussions (remember True Lie #4?). You divert from the main agenda, getting defensive about a particular point that rubbed you the wrong way. Instead, let's strive to truly hear each other, to grasp the overarching message, and navigate toward mutual understanding and progress.
And as always, don't forget to be unabashedly selfish. Your happiness is contagious. "If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."
Ever thought why we say, "Stay out of my business"? Funny how 'business' substitutes for 'personal life.' It's a subtle hint, my friend - you, yes you, are a business, from the moment you enter this world. Remember that 'birth certificate'? That's your business license. See, you were always meant for business!
What's better than a thriving business? Two of them merging! Enter romantic relationships, the merger of two successful ventures, each with their own assets and liabilities. As these businesses amalgamate, we become more than just people in love. We form a Corporation of Hearts. In a business, we stay focused, leaving emotions aside. What if we approach our relationships the same way? Let's take a look.
Every business decision you make in your relationship should pass through the litmus test - "Is this a good business decision?" The assets and liabilities you bring to the merger now belong to the corporation that your love has created. Each disagreement is a business meeting where emotions are sidelined, and the point at stake is tackled head-on.
Don't get me wrong. There is a time and place for emotions and feelings - within you, the individual, the Person, separate from the business. They are your personal companions, residing within the confinements of your 'personal life.' They are about self, shaped by perception. Since we know perception can be as varied as the number of stars in the night sky, it's clear - they don't have a seat at the business table.
You are a business and you've got to play the part. Every action in your relationship should echo the calculated precision of a business move. Feelings and emotions? They make you human, not a battery. However, they are the weekend warriors, not your 9-5 troops.
No, I'm not a psychologist or a doctor, but I do ponder over the intricate workings of the mind. Did you know that from birth until the age of six, kids are in a super learning phase, soaking in information like sponges? This information gets hardwired into their subconscious, acting as an auto-pilot guide for their behavior later in life.
The subconscious mind works tirelessly in the background, absorbing and processing massive amounts of data. It influences our behaviors in ways we often don't realize, especially during intense situations or when we're distracted. Its impacts can be as subtle as choosing the wrong answer on a test, to more significant outcomes like unconscious reactions in relationships.
When we are engrossed in a conversation or a task, the auto-pilot steps in to keep everything else functioning. However, it's governed by the programming we received during our early years. Its reactions aren't necessarily reflective of our true feelings but based on the subconscious tapes we've recorded.
Ever found yourself inexplicably arguing with your partner, or reacting in a way you didn't intend? That's your auto-pilot at work. It might be responding to a perceived threat based on past experiences, leading to a fit of rage, jealousy, or misunderstanding.
An interesting interplay of the subconscious mind occurs when you imagine future scenarios or relive past experiences with someone. By inserting ourselves into another person's visions of the future or memories of the past, we can create a sense of shared history and emotional connection, even if the relationship is relatively new.
The key to overcoming the sometimes misleading guidance of the auto-pilot is conscious awareness. Being present in the moment can help you identify when your auto-pilot is in control and assess whether its responses are appropriate. Awareness also helps you protect yourself from manipulative tactics that may exploit your auto-pilot's vulnerabilities.
Life and love, oh, what a turbulent rollercoaster they weave! Picture the seemingly perfect man – muscular, charismatic, blessed with a charming smile. Yet, he's a beast on the inside, hidden behind a façade, just waiting for his beauty to see the real him.
He fills her life with love, yet he hesitates to express his feelings. His silence stems from a lack of confidence, an all too familiar tale. Tragically, he'd rather face death than bear the agony of her indifference. Isn't it ironic how he'd willingly play her part, constantly suggesting and subtly hinting, in a desperate quest for her reciprocation?
Such is the plight that many men face, their struggle mirrored in countless love stories.
Imagine turning off the nozzle, your hand shaking, heart pounding with uncertainty. You hope she'd step up, break the silence, but the moment she does, you fear the balance tilting. Your ego misinterprets her intervention as a power play, when all she craves is your leadership, your protection. You desire safety yet fail to realize – you can't feel secure until you provide her with the same.
Believe in yourself, be confident in your ability to make her feel cherished.
She may have numerous 'bricks' in her bucket - a dominating father, looming financial concerns, intrusive friends, or even a past lover. Regardless of what it is, your role is to replace these obstructions, to fill her life with love and sexual energy. You are the chosen one, the man meant to understand the magnitude of her needs, her capacity to receive.
Time, my friends, is the most precious commodity. Don't squander it due to fear or a lack of confidence. Adopt the 30-second rule: if it no longer serves you, release it within 30 seconds. If it keeps returning or if you find yourself gravitating towards it, it's time to reevaluate.
If she was the issue, let her go. If it was you, confront your fears, kill your inner beast, and let your inner beauty shine through. Don't allow your insecurities to keep you shackled. Procrastination breeds anxiety, and remember, fear is but a mere illusion.
At the end of the day, darlings, remember to be fabulously selfish. Revel in your happiness, and let others witness the magic.
And always remember, "If you can’t see your success, change your vantage point.”
As a young man, I was frequently encouraged to be the "bigger person" and apologize for my transgressions. This notion wasn't about physical size but a metaphorical nod to my potential power. It took me years to understand this potent equation: thought + emotion = feelings. And within this concept lies the key to understanding and controlling our emotional triggers.
Consider this situation: you're cut off on the highway. The immediate reaction of most is to honk the horn, yell, and make crude gestures. These reactions are predicated on assumptions – that the person cut you off intentionally and that your aggressive response will induce the same emotional reaction in them. But what if their actions were due to an emergency, or they were preoccupied with personal issues, or they just didn't see you? Where does your responsibility lie in all this?
The first step is accepting 100% responsibility for our own actions and reactions. We react in anger because we allow an emotion to time stamp our thoughts, leading to particular feelings. We can't truly know what the other person was thinking in that moment. Thus, we must account for our responses. We need to be more in tune with our feelings to manage ourselves better.
We have become so preoccupied with the feelings of others that we neglect our own. Many react with shock when I suggest being "selfish", but not putting yourself first can lead to a violent rejection of your own needs. Selflessness does not always deserve a badge of honor unless it involves saving another's life while risking your own.
Often, we behave in a way that we believe will please others, not because it aligns with our genuine feelings. You may accommodate me at 2 in the morning despite your discomfort, hoping that your compliance will make me value you. However, this is not a healthy negotiation. Your tears may stem from your hurt feelings, but they could also be because you disregarded your own needs.
Here's a metaphor to consider: a $100 electricity bill might seem substantial if you only have $10. But if you have $1000, that bill feels less significant. The same applies to problems. If you're 'bigger' than the problem, it feels light. By apologizing or expressing regret, I lift that emotional weight, showing my control over the emotional trigger. Waiting for an apology essentially means waiting to be controlled. If you truly value yourself, you should be willing to lift that weight yourself.
I've always been a bit of a magnet - an allure that drew people in, even when I was a chubby kid. I've mastered the art of walking into a room like I own it, the King of Swagger, if you will. Like the rap icon Lil' Wayne who proclaimed himself as the 'best rapper alive,' I too believe in my own greatness. It's this unapologetic belief in oneself that fuels audacious acts and bold ventures. But my realization this weekend was the icing on the cake.
Picture this: Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, a playground of glittering vice and sin. My wife's 30th birthday, and me, amidst the bright lights and heady buzz, encountering an epiphany.
About eight months ago, a concept gripped my imagination and wouldn't let go: The Law of Attraction. It's a sexy idea, don't you think? The notion that if you visualize something, truly believe it, you can make it a reality. After devouring five books in eight months (an impressive feat considering I had only read 'The Call of the Wild' cover to cover before), I had an arsenal of positive thoughts ready to combat any negativity.
Now, our trips always ended with a vow to live on Ramen noodles until the next paycheck. But this time, it was different. I saved 10% of everything that came my way for this Vegas trip. And what do you know? Positive thinking pays - literally! We were big spenders, living it up, without a care in the world about our bank balance.
My wife chose a fancy purse for her mom, a thank-you for babysitting our son. Once, this would've caused a silent panic attack. This time, I didn't bat an eye. We returned from the trip with money still nestled safely in our account. Visualization, my friends, is a powerful thing.
Now, imagine me at a blackjack table, comfortably playing with hundred-dollar chips while others nonchalantly lost ten grand. As I pondered how I ended up amongst these high rollers, it struck me - our reality is shaped by our mindset. I felt I belonged there. This led to fascinating conversations, compliments on my positivity, and the affirmation that I indeed had the gift to sell anything.
Embracing the Law of Attraction means opening yourself up to receive the universe's offerings and, believe me, it's a game-changer.
I've always been a man of faith, transforming nothing into something. Positivity is contagious, and with each affirmation, each picked-up penny followed by a 'thank you' to the universe, I saw the fruits of my newfound philosophy. Don't just love money, love abundance. Don't just hate negativity, love positivity.
Starting small doesn't mean you're settling. Every step, every penny is a building block towards your own million-dollar dream. Don't let anyone rain on your parade. Own your thoughts, cultivate them, and watch them bloom. Remember the Butterfly Effect - one change can have an enormous impact.
Who knows, maybe one day I'll be telling you this story on a live talk show, maybe you'll even pay to hear my intriguing tales. The key takeaway? Ignorance may be bliss, but conscious choice is powerful. Harness the magic of positive thinking and watch as your reality transforms.