How did they do it?
What binds them all together?
There has to be something that you could use to your advantage, right?
I asked all the same questions and then it hit me.
There’s a not-so-secret, secret amongst the wealthy.
When you become King the importance diverts from being a leader of your country to finding a suitable wife. When you look amongst the wealthy there is something that is hidden.
It’s their wives.
Every last one of them is married with the exception of one, who has maintained a long-lasting relationship with one girl after four tries at marriage.
You want to emulate what did to gain success but success eludes you, why?
I’m not taking away any of their genii but I do believe the wife is where their brilliance comes from. Napolean Hill wrote about the transmutation of sex most think it’s about not having sex and using the extra “energy” to focus on accomplishing your goals.
I think it’s about adding energy to your focused goal.
When you have a wife two things can be said. One, you no longer focus energy on getting the baddest chick in the club ‘cause you already have her and she’s your wife.
That equals energy savings because if you know like I know it takes a lot of energy to remember what this one likes, how to excite that one, and what’s important to the other one. And two you have another energy source supporting your goals by giving you confidence and providing insight that you might not have ever thought of.
This list of the top ten richest men (and their wives) are as follows:
We’re a team gentleman and as your coach, this passage from Pacino in the longest yard (apply it to relationships) about sums it up. This is the millionaire’s secret. You can do what you want. Anything you have a passion for she will help you achieve it. Not too often do you find a family that remains poor forever that stays together?
I don’t know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time.
Now I can't do it for ya, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One-half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second.
On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when adding up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight, it's the guy who's willing to die who's gonna win that inch.
And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. You’re gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?
You may not even understand transmutation let alone the transmutation of sex.
There you are sitting on the couch contemplating relationship suicide or to watch porn. You have involuntarily abstained from sexual intimacy with your wife.
You're on your favorite couch. Legs up on the ottoman. The t.v. is on the news channel but that's not what you're seeing.
You're remembering that one time when you came home from work stressed out.
Suffering from the tension of spreadsheets, I will get that right over to you, and meetings for meetings about meetings that prep you for meetings.
She came downstairs in your favorite lingerie, you know the one she wore when she was role-playing as your mistress of sexual domination and walked right over to you started slowly, sensually, kissing on your neck then down the rest of your body.
She straddled you and began riding your excitement like its sophomore year on spring break after a night of tequila sunrises and corona's.
Where had she gone?
Had she died?
No, she's just "tired".
I learned this concept through my reading of Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. The meaning of the word "transmute" is, in simple language, "the changing, or transferring of one element, or form of energy, into another." To further define it, its the switching of the mind from thoughts of physical expression, to thoughts of some other nature.
You know when men get to be in their fifty's they start spending a ton of time in the garage working on cars. They are extremely amped to cut the grass, wash the cars, and build stuff.
Typical mid-life crisis right.
Well, they might not realize what's happening. They have so much energy because they are no longer thinking about or engaging in sex so they come up with something else to occupy their time or target their energy.
That's a redirection of sex energies.
What you will notice is their new level of concentration and focus that leads to above average achievement levels.
When your wife is not letting you release your sexual energy, and it can be frustrating, but relationship suicide is not the way.
Instead, focus all that extra energy to achieve a goal that you may have been in the back of your mind. If you focus your energy on that idea instead of releasing the sexual energy you will be able to achieve more!
Stop focusing on the physical.
You completely missed this concept while watching Think Like A Man.
When two people meet, in whatever capacity, the "Bar of Equality" is set, meaning you see eye-to-eye. It doesn't matter that you're a Doctor and they're a fry cook. Let's say one of you got a promotion or gain a new perspective, one of you is growing. The reciprocal of that is one of you is remaining to stagnate or at least not growing at the same rate. Metaphorically speaking the one growing can see over the head of the other. That translates to being able to see a whole new class of people that you couldn't see before. This could mean relationship potential for friendships or lovers.
What should happen is that the person that is growing is to help the other grow as well. When this doesn't happen you grow apart. At this point, you either stay in an unhappy situation which both parties stop growing because their energies are attracting, not propelling. Or you leave and by leave, that means you find a new relationship or new group of friends. I'm not saying you have to be doing the same things but appreciate and embrace the changes a person makes in life.
Do y'all remember Think Like A Man? There was a Dreamer and an "Independent Woman". She wants to be a boss so bad that she initially doesn't think she could be happy with a Dreamer. She leaves him for someone who thinks similar to her. She, later on, realizes how she treated him. She didn't understand or appreciate his dreams until his dreams became a reality that she could see or be a part of. There initial break-up was a result of them not growing at the same rate. She eventually learns to appreciate him and it's happy-ever-after. That's the part of their battle that you didn't catch and now you're equipped with the tools to understand the storyline of all your relationships.
We have all watched several seasons of POWER.
In this Starz drama about a drug dealer trying to go legit. Ghost is the street name of Jamie St. Patrick. Mr. St. Patrick, trying to go legit owns a nightclub named Truth. Jamie "Ghost" St. Patrick is married with two kids at this point. Jamie's high school sweetheart, Angie Valdez, a Federal Agent, gets transferred abruptly by her father to another school.
Angie Valdez wonders into his nightclub hunting down a major druglord Kingpin and that's where the drama began
That's the backstory.
When Angie reemerges all of the feelings that Jamie had in high school surfaced as well.
As I explain in the episode Ghost gets Ghosted podcast if you do not completely close the door, then it's open.
What is being Ghosting?
Ghosting is when you fall deeply in love or just get really engaged in a person and then they disappear. That's the short version.
Ghosting is when you get your bucket or nozzle filled with premium energy then subsequently source disappears. Like a ghost.
Imagine you're as happy as you've ever been. Your life has all of sudden became the Usher sound "You Got It Bad". You're with that person day and night in what appears to be relationship bliss.
Then this person disappears and you don't know why.
Ghosting effects you mentally.
It leaves you stuck.
All of the most negative thoughts about yourself are now laughing at you and you can't get them to shut the fuck up.
This causes depression and low self-esteem. It places a brick in your bucket or nozzle.
How and why do people employ this awful technique?
The how is simple. You don't answer any phone calls, text, email, dm's, snaps or tweets.
The why is key.
You're dealing with this guy and you're so into him.
However, he disappears resulting in a mass culmination of all the aforementioned emotional hangups. By him leaving a brick in your bucket and disappearing he never gives you closure.
If the door isn't closed its open.
He discovered that his reason for cutting off all communication with you was unwarranted or the grass he thought was green had shades of brown on it. He wants you back.
He'll tell you that whatever the reason he disappeared was about him and not you.
He dared to utter the words "you're perfect". You took the bait. What you hear next will be exactly what you need to hear to swing the door wide open and let him back in.
Ghosting has more to do with the entrance rather than the exit!
Ghosting is a result of someone who wants to be in your life but is unsure. He needs to have a seamless way back into your life. This is done by just leaving. Just leaving does not give you closure and creates self-doubt. This self-doubt is like a key to the back door. Returning out of nowhere, removing the self-doubt, you inadvertently open the door to allow him back in.
When he "ghosts" you as in the case of Angie Valdez and Jamie St. Patrick they disappear without a trace. Seemingly for no reason at all.
You meet a guy and you think the world of him. He's around when you're up and when you're down. He's your shoulder to cry on. His house is your safe haven. His arms protect you. He listens attentively to all of your gripes about the world.
You for some reason placed him in the friendship zone.
Instead of you giving him the title of boyfriend or husband, he's relegated to bestie.
Does that sound familiar?
What this guy is trying to show you because he isn't bold enough to tell you is that he's the one for you.
He’s a good guy. Here’s a good one, she’s a good girl. Have you ever heard those words before?
Whos lips vibrated to generate the sounds that when translated equated to those statements?
Chances are it was your “best friend” as they were introducing the two of you.
Think back to those carnival nights where the temperature was about a cool eighty-eight. You’re having the time of your life. You know these are the making of memories that are going to last a lifetime.
Then one day you’re at your friends' house feeling nostalgic, so you pull out those moments. Your senses are aroused as though the images are live.
You start to notice a recurring theme hidden deep within each pixel.
Ignore your thoughts. Keep looking at the pictures.
It's like watching a train about to wreck, you can’t look away.
Can’t shake the thought.
This thought could make things extremely awkward. It could ruin the relationship.
But you have suffered so many failed relationships and they have been there the entire time.
Nah I’m losing it, you think to yourself.
There has to be a way to see if they’re thinking the same thing.
You gather all the courage you can muster. Ignore that feeling in your gut. Settle your breathing that’s racing like Dale in a Nascar race.
Your lips utter the words, “why haven’t we dated”.
Their response shocks you.
They react as though the door to the pearly gates have been opened and they are being welcomed by God himself.
They play it cool and say “I don’t know, it could work”. That leads to a bunch of follow-up comments confirming how perfect the two of you have been for each other. You both are painting and believing the beautiful dream.
You guys go out for your first official date. Y’all have been to this spot a thousand times. It’s your spot. You share extremely passionate emotions that night. In the morning everything appears to be all good.
Your first argument and a situation from the past gets thrown in your face. You quickly realize that you experienced that incident with someone else. To make things worse they’re throwing it in your face as if it were them, but instead, it was with someone they hooked you up with.
Those pictures in which you were the focal point is now creepy. Your mind re-images everything you thought was nostalgic.
The lens gets wider.
You recognize all the moments and comments with something that was just slightly off-color.
You think about every failed relationship and how they were always right there to comfort you.
They always had exactly what you needed when you needed it.
You wonder how did they know? Boom you wake up and now know all those relationships ended or started because of them.
They punished you for not recognizing them in the first place.
You're perfect for each other. If you do not see this as a term of endearment it will ruin the relationship, friendship, or whatever it is you believe you have. It will cause severe trust issues because the vale was kept up for so many years. That person should be your best friend and continue to be your best friend after the Officiator at your elaborate wedding has named you'll husband and wife.
Have you experienced best-friend sabotage or bliss, let me know in the comments below.
I bet you didn't know Lions did this. What? Tell us already.
I went to see the 1994 movie titled The Lion King about six times in the theatre.
Yes, I paid to see it that many times.
Yes, I cried all six times when Mufasa died. You better leave me alone.
That sparked an interest because I realized that I knew nothing about Lions.
Lions are King, but why not tigers?
Why are Lions the subject of about 80% of all motivational quotes?
Lions love the fight.
Tigers want to end the fight quickly and when they can’t they become uninterested, in other words, quit. Lions are the epitome of don’t rush, persevere.
When the male cub reaches puberty, in human terms, he is sent out to fend for himself to build a new pride. He is sent out either on his own or with his friends, they are called a coalition.
When the cub comes across another pride he is killed. But if he should survive he becomes the Lion King. In the movie, we are led to believe that this happens by lineage. You have to challenge for the throne.
Here's where it gets interesting.
When there is a new Lion King he and his coalition will kill all the males in that pride.
Yes, that includes babies.
All of the women within that pride immediately get horney, go into heat or estrus.
The Lion King then goes to impregnate as many Lionesses as he has the energy for. Then after he can't go any longer his coalition get to pick from the rest in order of command. The next strongest gets to keep going until he's tired so forth and so-on.
It's now Saturday night.
You're out at the club.
You look around and suddenly you realize that you are surrounded by several "crews" or coalitions.
There's always that one crew that everyone knows in the club. He demands respect from most.
The Lion King.
The music starts to have those strong bass rifts and you can feel the tension building. You find yourself at the center of two coalitions because Lioness you're abnormally attractive.
As the beat picks up the arguing ensues. A fight breaks out.
The loser embarrassed and no longer respected as the Lion King has two options either shoot up the club or never return as the King.
All of the women get horney, go into heat or estrus as there is a new King on the block.
There is a reason why you choose the same mate and that is the same reason he can’t help himself.
As leader of the pack, you chose him because he would have the strongest genes.
Which means the highest chance of survival.
When your body starts sexually energizing you search for the strongest, most capable, prominent male figure you can find.
At that point it’s all animal instinct, secure the perpetuity of the pride.
This means that your unborn fetus is directing you to whom it wants its daddy to be.
In our society, we deny this is the case. We shame each other for our animalistic instinct. As men, we employ this naturally.
In the society of Lion's the social structure is the same as us. When there is a new Lion King there is a challenge for the throne. Beta males may get to choose from a lot of Lionesses that did not get impregnated by the King or his coalition. Lioness you're driven by your unborn offspring to choose the Lion King, as he will be most suited for their survival.
What did Cinderella found out that most of y'all never will?
We live in a world of uber careful introverts, with little to no social skill frightened by the very thought of being spoken to and at the same time seduced by the idea that someone may actually acknowledge their presence.
People these days are deep in thought and don’t want their internal monologue interrupted with petty chatter, so they walk with their head down.
This archetype makes up the majority of your city walkers.
This type of person is so smart and analytical that they recognize patterns and can determine, amongst other things, threat levels based on shoes. Nothing will make them look up faster than a nice pair of kicks.
How do you determine a “nice” shoe? Any shoes that fit properly and tell your story.
Finding a nice pair of shoes to an outfit is akin to God reaching out in Michael Angelo’s painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, you have to see what he’s pointing at.
There’s a conversation that happens between your shoes and their eyes.
Shoes make you want to read the rest of the book.
Are you a Hero or a Zero?
Let’s go on a journey.
The person looks up and there is this quick glance at your head. Facial recognition works like RoboCop analyzing a potential criminal attempting to determine friend or foe.
Then down to the shirt, followed by the pants, next noting any accessories, and then ultimately back to the shoes making check marks along the way.
The journey is complete.
Can you guess the ending?
You’ve now made assumptions.
Are you right?
Are you sure?
You have to prove your hypothesis. Just at that moment, the painting says Hi.
You would have never noticed the painting if you would have continued to walk around with your head down like Santiago carrying oil trying his hardest not to spill it as the main character in the book The Alchemist.
Prince Charming chose Cinderella based solely on a pair of shoes. He took the journey and determined she was a heroine (Female Hero). She quickly found out that she would still be broke and single without a great pair of shoes!
I’m not saying that you can’t find relationship euphoria without a good pair of shoes, I’m saying it would be really difficult.
How many women tried on those shoes and failed and ended up without a ring? Will that be you?
I want to hear all about your shoe experiences. What stories do you shoes tell or have told?
If you can't beat em', join em' is such a simple cliche that says a lot.
Men think in terms of fighting or competition.
Alpha males always want to prove who's Alpha, so we fight each other.
Ever wondered why men fight and then it's over; it's because Alpha males do this instinctively. This will happen every time someone wants a shot at the throne, we're competitive that way.
Walking up to you to simply say hi creates this crushing feeling in our stomach.
It's like free falling from 200 hundred feet or about to get into a fight with that bully at 2 o'clock.
Let's focus on the bully. Whether you realize it or not you're that bully to us.
Imagine being in the ring on a Saturday night only to realize your opponent is Floyd, Mohammed, or Iron Mike.
That is enough to stifle any fire or desire that guy may have for you, so he never approaches. Those amongst us who are tough enough or at least can deal with the feeling for a few seconds until the first punch is thrown, approach.
That's who you potentially want in your life.
The bell goes off we walk across that ring and say hi.
You say hi back
Well, folks, we got ourselves a fight comments the announcer or the mouse turning the wheel in our heads. Now we go back and forth in the battle of verbal discourse.
Round one in the books we exchange info.
Let's say in round one I went for the knockout and you go down.
We've just had sex, 10 count fights over!
If you absorb the punch then I have to come back out for another round, and another.
Every time we meet, consider that as another round.
A championship fight is 12 rounds.
If we both lasted 12 rounds we're going to know each other really well. You're going to know my tendencies and I'm going to know yours.
Hell Rocky and Apollo became best friends. The harder the fight the more respect and appreciation is gained.
I'm not going to want to go through that again.
If you're as tough or tougher than me let's join forces! If you can't beat em' join em'.
You may not know boxing but you know what you're going through. What you need is a better coxch to teach you the skills necessary to win. The championship belt might not fit your body but it will fit your finger.
Men should be tough enough to approach you. If he's tough enough to approach you then he passes the sniff test. Then you make us invest cash, whether that be physical or mental cash doesn't matter.
Mental cash is always better.
It's like student loans you can't get rid of it.
You have to know that approaching an abnormally beautiful woman like yourself is like going into a fight with one of the greats. That why so few actually do it. Let the fight go twelve rounds and I bet the appreciation you have for one another will be completely different than what you're used to.
All men want their investments to appreciate or gain value. If it comes for free there is no investment. As soon as it's not appreciating then it's time to get rid of it.
Whether you realized it or not you have seen Subconscious Paranoia.
Have you ever been walking down the street there are only three people within a distance you, him, and her?
As you approach you look at him and then you look at her.
As you get closer you see him grab her hand or put his arms around her.
What you just witnessed is Subconscious Paranoia. If you want to hear me talk about it, check that out here.
The reason this happens is he is claiming her as his girl. He's only claiming her as his girl in relation to you.
If a woman is walking next to a man the assumption is that the two of them are already in a relationship.
If the assumption is the standard, then why did he make that move.
Its because there is a lack of confidence. This lack of confidence is in himself, and you.
You're walking down the street, then he sees you. You watch him put his arm around her.
If you were a threat that he felt, he could handle, he would find a way to maneuver you behind himself. Then he would be in a position to fend you off, should you attack.
All he does is put his arm around her in his weak attempt to claim her.
He will make that move as though you could steal her from him in the two seconds you passed each other.
That's a clear lack of confidence in both himself and her.
You will experience subconscious paranoia when your girlfriend, wife, whatever gets dressed to go out with or without you.
You feel her outfit is inappropriate.
Let's say you'll are getting dressed to go to dinner. Nothing is hanging out and everything fits well, but you still feel her outfit is inappropriate.
Why is that?
It's because of how you, at one point, viewed other women.
This forces you to feel that every man is looking at her the same way you once looked at other women.
She absolutely does!
She didn't even notice him walking down the street, she's into you.
When you do that you alert her that there is a male more Alpha than you.
Prior to that, she thought you were and that's why she chose you. Because you grabbed her you feel like that guy is more Alpha than you. If you didn't think he would be attracted to her you wouldn't have done that either.
It's all about energy.
That's not anything new.
His energy met your energy and he overpowered you. So you knew he was more Alpha.
When you grabbed her you broke her attention.
She looks down to see your hands fumbling to grab hers. Since she's not used to you doing that she looks down. You alerted her that the extra energy wasn't yours so she looks up.
She now sees the person with more energy than yourself.
Her inquisitive self now wants to find out about him. Relationship over.
Don't do that schit! If you're already guilty of that stop doing that schit now! You can't fill her bucket and you know that. If you did you would be more than confident that you were all she could handle. You have to do one of two things.
It could be that you were cheated on in the past so you're worried that it's going to happen again. If you worry about it happening again you're going to create the situation and circumstances for it. If you have low self-esteem. Figure out what happened to cause the issue and then reframe that issue, change your vantage pointe. Or.
This is a result of how you got her. So if you spend tons of money on her and you know you can't keep up, her bucket is not going to remain full. If you got her for some other reason than what you truly want then you won't fill her bucket.
Beauty, is it in the eyes of the beholder or the mirror?
You wake up and the first thing you do is go into the bathroom and reach for the toothbrush.
You know I mean after you spend thirty minutes Instagrammin or Facebookin.
Before you put toothpaste on the brush, you take a quick glance in the mirror.
That quick glance turns into a long gaze as you notice every blemish on your face through your mucus encrusted eyes.
You splash water on your face, dig the gunk out of your eyes, only to come to the realization that the blemishes are still there.
Now you're stuck attempting to gain the approval of the mirror.
“Magic mirror, on the wall - who is the fairest one of all?” You repeat that mentally every time you pass a mirror and you feel obligated to ask the question.
First, those blemishes are only noticed by you because you perceive them to be there. We don't notice them or better yet, they're not there. You're beautiful but you don't believe that because the mirror hasn't told you yet.
Public Service Announcement:
The mirror will never tell you that. The beholder in the cliché' is you. You only need the mirror to make sure the toothpaste is off your chin and not on your shirt.
You're never going to gain the favor of the mirror if you don't control what you see.
If what's behind your eyes never believes that you're perfect you will never be perfect.
Understand the mirror confirms whatever you tell it to confirm. Tell yourself you're losing weight, really believe it, then look into the mirror and I guarantee the mirror will oblige.
When you look into the mirror you are met with a barrage of flaws. You are so critical of yourself. The world is not as important as we want it to be. I know it may be difficult but let the world see and feel your inner glow. That makeup actually hides your true beauty.
Negotiating love is easy once you first understand how to negotiate.
In any negotiation, you have two or more parties that are willing to sacrifice something in order to gain something.
In most cases, one party has something that they do not care for but the other party cares about.
I give you time and for my time you give me money. Time, in this scenario, is worth the money that you are giving me, so I agree.
If you are in sales you are generally looked at as being sleazy or conniving in some way.
If you have to sell something you feel bad for doing it even if it's going to earn you money. You would rather give it away than sell it.
The feeling of sleazy, remember.
You don't feel this way when someone asks where are we going out to dinner and you say Ruth Chris has those steaks that they top with melted blue cheese that almost tastes like a desert, it's worth the $125 price tag.
Or if you are carb-loading bro you can go to Red Robin and take full advantage of bottomless french fries or even better sweet potato fries with the confectionery sugar.
You have just sold both bottomless fries and steaks without being paid. Most people take this approach to life.
You are about to close the deal.
Do you really understand the contract?
Do you know how long this deal is supposed to last?
Are you confident that you are getting what you want for what you are willing to give up?
You must understand the details of the contract. The fine print is really important.
Make sure that you understand the product or business you are about to purchase.
If you do not you're guaranteed to lose money or get swindled on the deal. This is like someone trying to sell me a cow, but they are giving the milk to me for free. There is no need for me to buy the cow unless buying the cow presents some other benefit other than milk.
When making this deal the product or business you are buying should appreciate in some way.
The deal should never be based on desperation or impulse. Those deals cloud your judgment.
If your judgment gets clouded then the deal becomes more about what you're "winning" instead of gaining. Like Mr. Wonderful, Kevin O'Leary says "if it doesn't pay dividends, don't own it".
What does this have to do with Love? Everything.
Bryson Tiller's Exchange is a contract. Let's put it to the test.
In step #1 he has to know what he wants to gain and what he is willing to sacrifice for it.
He wants "all" of you and for this, he is willing to sacrifice me.
Step #2 he needs to recognize he's in the business of sales.
He advertises by saying the words directed at her through his music that's played everywhere. He obviously knows he's in sales.
Step #3 Fully understand the contract.
Here's where things get tricky. He fully understands the contract, but do you?
He wants "all" of you for "me".
"Me" represents a part of him but not the whole.
If he wanted to sacrifice all of himself for all of you then he would have said that in the contract, but it wasn't. It was implied. Which is misleading.
Once the contract is signed he will expect you to hold up your end of the bargain and he will do the same.
Only you won't be getting what you thought you negotiated for.
You violated Step #3. If any step is violated then you can guarantee that in Step #4 nothing will be appreciating you will not be receiving any dividends. If you don't trash the product you will be paying into a pit or lemon.
Every relationship in your life should follow the four contract rules of negotiation. Relationships get sleazy all the time because we misunderstand the contract. I'm here if you need help understanding your contractor how to better negotiate love.
The secret of Willpower is that Willpower is working against yourself or at least your conscious self.
Do you want to find that soul mate?
You want to manifest all your dreams and desires?
Exercising Willpower means that you are going against your Will.
We all recognize that a Will is something executable upon death.
There is some old Alfred (Don't mind the Batman reference) looking guy, that appears just outside of death himself, that delivers the news to your family members that a distant relative has amassed a fortune, unbeknownst to you'll and here you go. At least that's the way I pictured it, until...
Until I stopped being mentally abused by words!
Your Will is your request of the Universe.
Your Will is something that you want to be carried out while incapacitated.
Generally, you think of being "incapacitated" as brain-dead or dead. I offer another understanding. Incapacitated by definition means deprived of strength or power.
I offer the thought of being incapacitated as being deprived of strength or power to stop your Will or yourself from reaching your goals. When you stop thinking about an idea or something you wish to accomplish, miraculously you complete it.
Once you have given up physically and it's but a faint idea mentally somehow you reach your goal.
When you set a goal if it's mental you have only created a Will. It may or may not get carried out.
But when written, you're writing a Will, which has to be carried out by Universal Law.
Let's say the Lawyer that performs the act name is D. Universe. Since you're incapacitated, whether you're conscious or unconscious he will still carry it out, this is the Law. One of few laws that have actually always been carried out.
You establish your goal and then work to achieve your goal by focusing on the activities to achieve your goal, but not the goal itself.
Lebron James doesn't focus on being perfect at the free throw line, he practices on his form and being consistent and inevitably becomes perfect hitting free throws.
Picture this, One day you're in Walmart and you want that sugary glazed, know your fingers are going to be sticky, Honey Bun.
But you're still remaining faithful to your New Year's resolution.
So you tell yourself over and over again that you can't have that Honey Bun.
You're about 4 people back in line.
You know right by the impulse goods and someone calls you on the phone.
You answer the phone and it's your friend with the latest info so you're into the conversation.
Without realizing it the Honey Bun lands in the basket and then you justify eating it, it's only one and you already paid for it.
The Universe only understands the action. The action words are "have that Honey Bun".
Before you got on the phone you were exercising Will Power or power to go against your will. When you answered the phone and got into the conversation, your Will became executable. You got the Honey Bun.
Once something becomes a habit you no longer have to think about doing it.
If you no longer are thinking you're incapacitated!
You don't have the strength or power to stop your Will from being executed.
It's always on your mind to find your soul mate. The idea of having a soul mate is constantly on your mind. You have already written your Will.
However, it will not be carried out until you're incapacitated!
Stop thinking about finding a soul mate and get in the habit of doing the things and going the places that you would want to be accompanied by your soul mate. Magically they will appear.
While watching TWD I realized something... The Zombies are a metaphor for our daily lives. Here is a synopsis of the Zombies:
Any time you're doing something different the Zombies attack. Let's say you're trying to save money, the Zombies attack by saying you can't take it with you or wanting a handout. If you're trying to better yourself they attack by telling you that you ain't schit and your idea will never work. Let's say that you want to talk to that girl that everyone in your group think is so awesome but they convinces you that you can't get her.
Zombies can be spouses, family members, frenemies, enemies, the jealous, the envious, basically all the haters. Haters are Zombies. I'm sure you don't need it, but here are some real-world examples. You want to be rich, I mean how many of us don't. If you don't know how to do something you have to figure out how. You have to educate yourself. You start reading books on the subject. You're applying an action to your plan. You're actually saving money and remaining disciplined is out of the norm. Gunshot! Everyone has their hand out and they are applying a lot of pressure to get you to give up your hard-earned cash. They want you to be just like them, Zombies attacking.
You come up with what you believe to be a million dollar idea. You're passionate about the idea. You finally put a plan together to bring this idea to fruition. You plant the seed in the most fertile earth, your mind. The Church Bell rings! Here they come. Your family members, frenemies, enemies, the jealous, and the envious all will tell you that either it's already been done or worse, that YOU can't do it. If you're not truly passionate and resolute about your idea, the Zombies will kill you. They want you to be just like them.
S.W.A.G. is the final frontier. You're the fat guy. People will tell you that you don't deserve the girl of your dreams. Or maybe you're one of the cool kids, a so-called playa. When either of you gets the girl, the truck horn goes off and all the Zombies come to attack. The fat guy has to deal with all the male Zombies believing that because you got her, then they could have too. So they try. Now the fat guy has to deal with the female Zombies that attack because they now see that someone wants you all of a sudden so do they. They attack.
The so-called playas have to deal with the female Zombies like the fat guy but the male Zombies don't attack directly, they actually will attack the women to lure you out in the open making it easier for them to attack you. We have to make sure our women are equipped with the skills necessary to handle the Zombies. Men come back in her life as Zombies, she has to know that.
I offer a fourth scenario. When you become rich, successful, and married you no longer make any noise until there's a kink in your armor. You build a fortress that's virtually soundproof until you trip. Once you trip the sound echoes through all the land. Take Brother Steve Harvey for example; he was untouchable, as far as being a comedian, actor, with S.W.A.G. He makes one mistake and the Zombies come attacking.
Some people rather be eaten by Zombies because it's easier to move with the crowd. It's easier to not have to watch your steps so you don't trip. Some people rather be a Zombie so they don't have to be fiscally responsible. Some people would rather be a Zombie in order to have an excuse why they didn't get the girl or why they never stand out at work. If you're a part of the status quo you have the potential to be a Zombie.
If you want to get off the cowpath and create your own then you're alive! Death to all the Zombies.
I can't see it coming down my eyes, so I got to make the song cry.
That's the hook from Jay-Z's 2001 Song Cry off of the Blueprint Album.
Today while listening to Babyface on the radio and analyzing a current situation, it got me to thinking; the male R&B artist has gone into hiding.
I don't even know if there is a category for this anymore.
Right now one of my favorite jams is VSOP by K. Michele.
I think that's just an uplifting song with a jazzy beat. But that's a song written by a female for females; am I wrong for emotionally internalizing the words. You can hear my words here.
As men, we are taught to be strong and tough.
Our decision making is affected by feelings first and logic second. If we're feeling upset that means that someone has pulled the emotional trigger, but if we can change vest quickly those bullets will no longer affect us.
To get over the pain in this manner we have to either hide from the gun or change emotionally so those bullets don't affect us. If we are not taught how to do this we are forced to suppress the pain.
We all know that just ends up with us blowing up in anger and frustration. Men these days don't even know how to express their feelings, so they stay bottled up. Given this scenario, it would appear that we stand alone.
The interesting thing is that the radio would always seem to give you what you needed, at least back in the day.
Let's say you were upset at your girlfriend when your parents picked you up from school, on the radio would be Al Green's Let's Stay Together.
The music would subconsciously guide your next move.
The team would even give you the words to use.
When you started driving and you left your girl house you might get a Jon B., Usher, Tyrese, hell even Dru Hill.
These guys would let you know all about what love is and what it isn't for them; you had to choose your own path but at least you knew someone else was going through or went through it.
Nowadays listening to the radio you're so bombarded with this hoe, that bitch, get her drunk so tomorrow you can call her a t.h.o.t. and on to the next.
As men, we grew up learning strategy, comradery, teamwork, and competition.
It's a lot of pressure to always be tough, always be dominating. So when I heard Boy II Men's I'll make love to you, I learned how to treat a woman, we were a team.
When I wanted to share emotions (shhh s.e.x) I was the Point Guard coached by Barry White, assisted by R. Kelly. Even as tough as we're
supposed expected to be we could still use a team.
You can't win championships on your own, Jordan taught us that.
You have a bunch of men who are not allowed to be in touch with their feminine side.
There is always a masculine and feminine aspect in everything.
This means that the world is becoming more violent because you have guys that are not really tough, being subconsciously forced to be.
Now we have to decode each other's words to decode when we're really crying or in need of some uplift.
I can't see it coming down my eyes, so I got to make the song cry.
Nowadays your team is made up of all women.
When you're confused about the feelings you have, you get a woman telling you what you're experiencing.
She's talking to other women and you're overhearing it.
She's not talking to you.
When you hear a song about a woman expressing her feelings it's meant to be a guide for other woman and for you to have empathy for their plight.
This should make you a better person because you should never want to see anyone hurt.
That should work both ways only we don't have a team anymore.
You couple that with no strong male figure and you're basically alone, experiencing everything on your own. Learning as you go.
I guess it's up to me to bridge the gap.
I can't see it coming down my eyes, so I got to make the song cry.
The Master and Slave are about a mentality. The quote is as follows "A slave that does not appreciate the fruit of their labor is doomed to remain a slave. A master that does not appreciate the fruit of the slave is doomed to become a slave." -Swagger Coach. This may be a bit confusing, I explain in depth here.
The idea is whatever you desire becomes Master to you and thus you become a Slave to it. The slave has to appreciate the fruit of their labor in order to remove themselves from being a slave. If I enjoy tending the garden then you punishing me by forcing me to tend the garden is no big deal, therefore you will have to find some other way to punish me.
I mention an appreciative and unappreciative Master. The Master that is unappreciative sees the slave as a machine, something that is unlike them. The unappreciative Master then drives and drives, pushes and pushes the slave to death, if they leave the company to the Master it is still like death. Upon the Slaves' death, the Master has to tend the garden but he doesn't know how; so his garden is dying and to keep it alive they must tend to it themselves, essentially making them a Slave. The Master only recognizes the things the Slave did to keep the garden beautiful once they have to do it themselves; upon the exit of the Slave.
I also mention a Slave must appreciate the fruit of their labor or they are doomed to remain a Slave. If the slave is only focused on the activity to which they are charged they never see the fruit, only the profit they make the Master. If they never see the fruit they will keep tending to the garden more focused and angry on the activity of making the garden beautiful but never appreciating the garden. In this case both the unappreciative Master and appreciative Master are the same because you will remain the Slave.
The unappreciative Master can't stand the thought of you being human and thus treats you like a machine. The appreciative Master doesn't understand why you can't see the beauty that is the garden so he is disgusted by you. He thinks what type of person can't see this beauty and thus keeps you a Slave hoping that one day you will see. Either way, you still create profits for the Master. Just as much as you hate them, they hate you. It's only when the machine dies or can no longer tend to the garden that they both will see the beauty. This removes the Master and Slave insignia and they both together become something else.
The Master and the Slave is in every aspect of our lives. Most case its blatant because of titles that indicate to everyone who is the Master and who is the Slave. However, there are other places this mental warfare shows up... Since I AM your Swagger Coach, the most important to me are your everyday relationships.
When you have two people the Master and the Slave relationship comes when someone needs the other. I don't have a car so I need someone to drive me around. He gets all the girls so I want him to be around. She lets me where all her fancy clothes so I need to keep her around. She does my hair for free so I need to keep her around. All the guys flock to her so I need to be around her. These are just a few quick examples.
The cliche' when you both get money, you will know if they were your real friend is what happens when you are no longer a Slave and they are no longer a Master. If they were unappreciative Masters then you will not have anything but separation. Alternatively, the Slave is no longer a Slave and the Master is no longer a Master and the two of you become true friends. Friendship can come about because you already respect and understand each other. I hope it is clear that the Master and the Slave battle is mental who's foundation is rooted in the appreciation.
Boys are taught to be Masters', I mean after all boys grow up to be men who are supposed to be protectors and providers. Domination is necessary. I told you that boys want to spend their time where they have the most fun, which so happens to be where they are most appreciated. That is until they meet a girl who appreciates them just as much as his friends does. If the man isn't the head of the house, he will find a house to be the head of. What do you think I was referring too. The head of the household is the Master of that household, hence the reason you call him Mister. Mister was Master until the emotional trigger made it no longer politically correct. Master and Mistress were married. Now the mistress is unmarried and has a negative connotation, but I digress.
He wants to be in the relationship and this is indicated by the commodity that he is willing to give to be in your space, his time. But being Master he doesn't understand that you can't see the fruit of your labor. You don't see the beauty in the garden and therefore he doesn't see you as his equal only his machine. So the unappreciative or appreciative Master then drives and drives, pushes and pushes the slave to death, if they leave the company to the Master it is still like death. As long as you don't see the beauty that you produce you are doomed to be a Slave. He will then engage in a new Master-Slave relationship.
When you appreciate the beauty that is you, he will give up the ideology of being Master; you will give up the ideology of being a Slave; something new will come about and that is marriage. Since we are in a world fixated on titles I'll call you'll husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride.
Let's say that you are a "Dependant Women" but you want to control as though you were a Master. If I want you to appreciate me, I am a former Slave because I appreciate the beauty of my garden; you will soon find yourself as the "unappreciative Master" who is doomed to be a Slave. Then you will only realize the beauty of the garden once the machine is dead. Husbands fall victim to this role reversal often. Then the Master will try to gain some sort of profit from the garden, missing the entire point and is still doomed to be a Slave. If all he is concerned about are the things he is doing and doesn't appreciate the garden he will remain a Slave to you.
Please understand that the Master-Slave relationship is a mental one and is evident in every aspect of our everyday life. The idea is that you'll appreciate one another because you can't see from their vantage point. If you only focus on the ripple of the water you will miss the beauty of the ocean. We have grown into this "what have you done for me lately" society. Operating this way we fail to see the big picture. Since we don't know how the actions of yesterday let to today then we must appreciate all of them.