Get your mind out of the gutter - this isn't about what you might be thinking! 'Cumpromise' is an interesting blend of the Latin word 'cum', which means 'and' or 'with', and the English word 'promise'. Just as 'cum' in Latin brings together two nouns, 'cumpromise' serves two purposes: it encapsulates the two perspectives within a relationship, and represents the concept of mutual agreement.
You might see yourself as a 'Popular Junkie', someone who thrives in social situations, basking in the energy of a crowd without necessarily needing to be the center of attention. On the other hand, your partner might be a 'homebody', who finds comfort in the warmth of family, friends, and familiar surroundings. Initially, this contrast might not be evident or troublesome, as you find common ground in shared environments, such as a lively home full of roommates or small gatherings with mutual friends. The shift from 'lost' to 'lust' to 'love' in the relationship brings you two closer, and you find joy in the constant companionship. But, the harmony starts to fade as the relationship transitions into a more committed phase.
The problem arises when the 'love phase' introduces new 'rules', particularly from your partner who prefers the comfort of home over the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Your once-adventurous outings dwindle to rare occurrences, and when you do get the chance to go out, you find yourself soaking up every moment, unsure of when the next opportunity will arise.
So, where did it all go wrong? Did anyone misrepresent themselves throughout the phases of the relationship? Not necessarily. The issue lies in differing perceptions and expectations.
In the initial phase of the relationship, when you spent time at your partner's home, you enjoyed the social aspects, while she cherished the homey vibes. She viewed you as a reformed social butterfly, content with quieter surroundings, while you saw the socializing as an extension of your outgoing persona. As the relationship evolved, these contrasting perspectives created friction.
But, there's hope. There's nothing inherently wrong with either of you or your preferences. The key to resolving this issue lies in the art of 'cumpromise'. It's about balancing your time, understanding each other's needs, and setting realistic expectations for the relationship. The goal isn't to suppress one's needs for the other, but to find a mutual ground that satisfies both.
Remember, you can only see things from your perspective, but through communication, you can understand your partner's view and work together towards a solution.
"If you can’t see your success, change your vantage point."