Consider this - what's the score when it comes to your relationship? You've probably heard that love is a 50/50 game but let me be the one to break the news - that mindset is killing your relationship. In school, if you scored a 50%, you flunked, right? So, why are we applying failing standards to our love lives?
Love is not a game where you can get by on half-effort. Applying a 50/50 approach to your relationship is like getting a constant "F". In our society, "F" stands for failure! So why are you setting your relationship up to fail?
We've all been taught gender norms - men are supposed to do this, women are supposed to do that. The problem? This mindset is dated and counterproductive. It's time to debunk these myths and shift your mindset to saving your relationship.
Take a page from Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen's playbook. They didn't achieve six championship rings by each putting in 50%. No, each of them showed up, game after game, giving 100% effort. If Pippen only gave 20% during Jordan's infamous flu game, the Bulls wouldn't have won the title.
In relationships, success lies in both parties committing to giving 100%. If you're only showing up with 50%, then you're just averaging out to a "C" - and who wants an average love life?
To truly experience a fulfilling and successful relationship, strive to give 100%, and encourage your partner to do the same. It's about both of you contributing fully to create a flourishing relationship.
Listen closely, because I know why you're here, yearning for answers. You've been dancing around this question: why aren't you good enough? You're craving more, wanting to uncover the secret to becoming enough, to becoming irresistible. You're eager to satisfy his needs, yet you're left thirsty for your own desires. But darling, what do both of you truly crave?
The answer? "Old School Love". And here’s how to capture it.
Cast your mind back to childhood – we're frolicking on the playground, and I'm engrossed in a game of football or maybe basketball with the boys. You're there, ostensibly with your friends, but your gaze is on me. Unknown to you, my eyes are stealing glances back.
You’re amidst the radiant sun, a field dotted with dandelions ready to be blown into the wind, and honeysuckle's sweet scent wafts on the breeze. You scoff at us boys sucking the nectar from the honeysuckle, but when I coax you into trying it, you discover its hidden sweetness. That's the birth of trust. I dash off to rejoin the game, leaving you behind with a sweet memory. That’s “Old School Love”, the flavor of trust, of sweet moments and the creation of a bond that time cannot erase.
Gentlemen, we are eternally children at heart, craving fun and camaraderie. When we meet our "Great White Buffalo", our match in wit and joy, we can't help but commit. A perfect balance forms when you effortlessly blend into our social circle, earning their respect, their laughter, and their admiration. Suddenly, his friends become yours, and vice versa.
Become the source of positivity, and people will flock to your energy. It’s simple, really: men seek fun. And when you match his friends in joy and carefreeness, he’ll have no option but to commit.
Stay atop the fun hierarchy by involving yourself in his world. Pretend, if you must. Over time, you'll come to enjoy his passions, further strengthening your bond. Remember, we men are creatures of emotion. These feelings can shift, but when you integrate into our interests, you ensure your position in our lives. Look at the bigger picture of our actions and understand our peculiar habits. We're like electrons in a chaotic dance - decipher our patterns, and you'll find meaning.
Recreate that old school love every day. You see, darling, we may not vocalize our commitment, but our actions speak volumes. You need to listen, to understand our non-verbal cues.
Mirror us, as we mirror you. When you inject fun into our lives, we reciprocate by stepping up. Together, let's keep the flame of old school love burning.
Lupe Fiasco said it best:
"Give me that old school love right now I'm leaving it all up to you darling, giving you everything you want And give me that old school love right now You know when I hold you, you won't be alone..."
The drumroll before the curtain rises. That's where we find ourselves when we're presented with options. It's a tantalizing dance between what could be and what is. Is the availability of choices a divine gift or an insidious curse? That's the puzzle I've been contemplating since my last post.
The price tag for these musings? Merely the minutes ticking away as you read and digest my thoughts. But, am I satisfied with this arrangement? The answer is a muddled yes and no. Sure, I pledged to dispense my wisdom freely, but don't mistake that for lack of desire for substantial compensation. The 'free' approach keeps my expectations low but should I be hungrier?
I'm a sucker for painting vivid mental pictures, so bear with me. Imagine yourself peckish, not ravenous, just enough to stir from the couch and saunter to the fridge. You swing open the door, greeted by a feast fit for a king. So, what do you do? You close the door, retreat to the couch, and wait till starvation strikes. Then you grab whatever will satiate your hunger fastest.
This metaphorical dance mirrors the quandaries of those 'commitment-phobe' men. The men who have "the threecies," that irresistible cocktail of charm, charisma, and confidence, find themselves in a unique conundrum—the dilemma of options. The buffet of potential partners stretches out before them, tempting and tantalizing. Is broccoli appealing when you're hungry? Absolutely, unless there's pizza.
With a smorgasbord of choices, committing feels like inviting regret. The angst of making a decision, followed by the depression of potentially making the 'wrong' one, is the byproduct of having options. When you have a single option, your expectations are modest, and decision-making is stress-free. But the more options you have, the higher your expectations skyrocket.
In the world of commerce, there's this term called 'opportunity cost'—the potential benefit lost by not choosing the alternative. This could only be determined by comparing one option to another, thus creating a new option. Let's picture this: You play the Mega Millions, you hit the jackpot and win a million dollars. Hooray! But wait, what if you could've won eighty million?
This concept spills over into why some men cheat or avoid commitment. When you choose a partner based on fleeting moments of confidence, the dynamics change post-marriage. The security of having someone at home fuels your confidence, leading you down the path of desiring more.
So, what's my advice? Embrace the binary—life or death, chase dreams or don't, make a choice or not. When faced with multiple choices, pick confidently, knowing that it's the right choice at that moment. Learn from every decision and realize there's no such thing as a 'wrong' choice. As Jay-Z puts it, "I will not lose for even in defeat, there's a valuable lesson learned." So, let's embrace our options, and remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Boom!