Love Isn't a 50/50 Game: Why Full Effort is Essential in Relationships

Couple holding hands symbolizing full effort in relationships

Consider this - what's the score when it comes to your relationship? You've probably heard that love is a 50/50 game but let me be the one to break the news - that mindset is killing your relationship. In school, if you scored a 50%, you flunked, right? So, why are we applying failing standards to our love lives?

The "F" in 50/50 Stands for Failure

Love is not a game where you can get by on half-effort. Applying a 50/50 approach to your relationship is like getting a constant "F". In our society, "F" stands for failure! So why are you setting your relationship up to fail?

Challenging What We Were Taught

We've all been taught gender norms - men are supposed to do this, women are supposed to do that. The problem? This mindset is dated and counterproductive. It's time to debunk these myths and shift your mindset to saving your relationship.

The Winning Formula in Love

Take a page from Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen's playbook. They didn't achieve six championship rings by each putting in 50%. No, each of them showed up, game after game, giving 100% effort. If Pippen only gave 20% during Jordan's infamous flu game, the Bulls wouldn't have won the title.

Striving for 100%

In relationships, success lies in both parties committing to giving 100%. If you're only showing up with 50%, then you're just averaging out to a "C" - and who wants an average love life?

To truly experience a fulfilling and successful relationship, strive to give 100%, and encourage your partner to do the same. It's about both of you contributing fully to create a flourishing relationship.

Key Points

  1. Redefining Relationship Expectations: The idea that relationships should be 50/50 is an outdated mindset that can harm the health and growth of a partnership. In reality, successful relationships require 100% effort from both parties.
  2. Challenging Gender Norms: It's important to debunk the traditional gender norms we've been taught. Both parties in a relationship should contribute fully, regardless of gender.
  3. The Power of 100% Commitment: Much like a successful sports team, where every player must give their all for the team to win, both parties in a relationship need to give their all for it to thrive. Using the metaphor of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, they won six rings because each brought their 100% every night.
  4. Failure with 50%: When you bring only 50% to the relationship, it averages out to 75% when paired with your partner's 100%. This is comparable to a "C" grade, or just average – and who wants an average love life?
  5. Strive for Success: In order to experience a fulfilling and successful relationship, both partners must strive to give 100% to each other and the relationship.

Mastering the Art of Old School Love: Your Secret to Lasting Happiness

Cassette tapes with love songs written on it to symbolize old school love

A Lovers' Quest: Searching for Enough

Listen closely, because I know why you're here, yearning for answers. You've been dancing around this question: why aren't you good enough? You're craving more, wanting to uncover the secret to becoming enough, to becoming irresistible. You're eager to satisfy his needs, yet you're left thirsty for your own desires. But darling, what do both of you truly crave?

The answer? "Old School Love". And here’s how to capture it.

A Golden Flashback: The Roots of Love

Cast your mind back to childhood – we're frolicking on the playground, and I'm engrossed in a game of football or maybe basketball with the boys. You're there, ostensibly with your friends, but your gaze is on me. Unknown to you, my eyes are stealing glances back.

You’re amidst the radiant sun, a field dotted with dandelions ready to be blown into the wind, and honeysuckle's sweet scent wafts on the breeze. You scoff at us boys sucking the nectar from the honeysuckle, but when I coax you into trying it, you discover its hidden sweetness. That's the birth of trust. I dash off to rejoin the game, leaving you behind with a sweet memory. That’s “Old School Love”, the flavor of trust, of sweet moments and the creation of a bond that time cannot erase.

The Key to His Heart: Bring on the Fun!

Gentlemen, we are eternally children at heart, craving fun and camaraderie. When we meet our "Great White Buffalo", our match in wit and joy, we can't help but commit. A perfect balance forms when you effortlessly blend into our social circle, earning their respect, their laughter, and their admiration. Suddenly, his friends become yours, and vice versa.

Become the source of positivity, and people will flock to your energy. It’s simple, really: men seek fun. And when you match his friends in joy and carefreeness, he’ll have no option but to commit.

The Secret to Lasting Love: Involve Yourself

Stay atop the fun hierarchy by involving yourself in his world. Pretend, if you must. Over time, you'll come to enjoy his passions, further strengthening your bond. Remember, we men are creatures of emotion. These feelings can shift, but when you integrate into our interests, you ensure your position in our lives. Look at the bigger picture of our actions and understand our peculiar habits. We're like electrons in a chaotic dance - decipher our patterns, and you'll find meaning.

The Power of Re-creation: Old School Love

Recreate that old school love every day. You see, darling, we may not vocalize our commitment, but our actions speak volumes. You need to listen, to understand our non-verbal cues.

Mirror us, as we mirror you. When you inject fun into our lives, we reciprocate by stepping up. Together, let's keep the flame of old school love burning.

Old School Love: The Lyrics that Capture it All

Lupe Fiasco said it best:

"Give me that old school love right now I'm leaving it all up to you darling, giving you everything you want And give me that old school love right now You know when I hold you, you won't be alone..."

Key Points

  1. Seek out the foundations of “Old School Love”.
  2. Understand the importance of fun in your relationship.
  3. Involve yourself in his interests.
  4. Listen to non-verbal cues.
  5. Rekindle the flame of old school love every day.

Decisions, Decisions: The Sweet Torture of Having Options

Man contemplating choices

The Delicious Dilemma of Decision Making

The drumroll before the curtain rises. That's where we find ourselves when we're presented with options. It's a tantalizing dance between what could be and what is. Is the availability of choices a divine gift or an insidious curse? That's the puzzle I've been contemplating since my last post.

The Cost of Cognition: Paying with Time

The price tag for these musings? Merely the minutes ticking away as you read and digest my thoughts. But, am I satisfied with this arrangement? The answer is a muddled yes and no. Sure, I pledged to dispense my wisdom freely, but don't mistake that for lack of desire for substantial compensation. The 'free' approach keeps my expectations low but should I be hungrier?

Picture This: A Fridge Full of Food and No Appetite

I'm a sucker for painting vivid mental pictures, so bear with me. Imagine yourself peckish, not ravenous, just enough to stir from the couch and saunter to the fridge. You swing open the door, greeted by a feast fit for a king. So, what do you do? You close the door, retreat to the couch, and wait till starvation strikes. Then you grab whatever will satiate your hunger fastest.

Choices, Choices: The Paradox of Plenty

This metaphorical dance mirrors the quandaries of those 'commitment-phobe' men. The men who have "the threecies," that irresistible cocktail of charm, charisma, and confidence, find themselves in a unique conundrum—the dilemma of options. The buffet of potential partners stretches out before them, tempting and tantalizing. Is broccoli appealing when you're hungry? Absolutely, unless there's pizza.

The Side Effects of Options: Regret and Anxiety

With a smorgasbord of choices, committing feels like inviting regret. The angst of making a decision, followed by the depression of potentially making the 'wrong' one, is the byproduct of having options. When you have a single option, your expectations are modest, and decision-making is stress-free. But the more options you have, the higher your expectations skyrocket.

Opportunity Costs: The Unseen Price Tag

In the world of commerce, there's this term called 'opportunity cost'—the potential benefit lost by not choosing the alternative. This could only be determined by comparing one option to another, thus creating a new option. Let's picture this: You play the Mega Millions, you hit the jackpot and win a million dollars. Hooray! But wait, what if you could've won eighty million?

The Dangerous Dance of Desire: Infidelity and Commitment

This concept spills over into why some men cheat or avoid commitment. When you choose a partner based on fleeting moments of confidence, the dynamics change post-marriage. The security of having someone at home fuels your confidence, leading you down the path of desiring more.

The Art of Decision Making: Black and White

So, what's my advice? Embrace the binary—life or death, chase dreams or don't, make a choice or not. When faced with multiple choices, pick confidently, knowing that it's the right choice at that moment. Learn from every decision and realize there's no such thing as a 'wrong' choice. As Jay-Z puts it, "I will not lose for even in defeat, there's a valuable lesson learned." So, let's embrace our options, and remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Boom!

Key Points:

  1. Having options can feel both liberating and overwhelming.
  2. With many choices, decision-making can induce anxiety and regret.
  3. Opportunity cost is the potential gain we lose by not choosing the alternative.
  4. Confidence in decision making leads to learning and growth.
  5. Embrace your choices, and remember, no choice is ever 'wrong'.