Let me put on my chauvinistic hat for a moment. Back in the not so distant past women didn’t work they stayed home tending to the kids, home, and husband when he gets there. When men went to work in the factory or on a farm, we didn’t have options. We were around each other all day, so we couldn’t wait to get home to our wives, who know their value. Somewhere along the lines women misunderstood their value and began working outside the home. You’ll begin wanting credit for your great ideas. All of the most successful men in the world did not reach that status until he found love, which means to me all of the great ideas of the world were either inspired or invented by women.
Now you’re in the market place, everywhere. It’s a smorgasbord of women, with various packaging, it’s like being three and walking into Toys R’ Us for the first time. Think of it this way; go to the buffet, grab you a plate of one thing, sit down, and see how long you can resist grabbing a plate of something else. Now relate that to why relationships now last three years or less. But imagine the only store in town who sells my favorite food at a really premium price. See what I won’t do, or what price I’m willing to pay, for my favorite food, get it, good. It has a high value to me so therefore I will make the sacrifice for it.
In all successful negotiations, there is something that they’re willing to give up for something they want. I want to have a reason to spend big bucks in both mental and physical cash. The key is that it has to have a high return on investment. This means that whenever I spend cash on, be it mental or physical, it has to appreciate. This means that the value has to increase. You’re selling a relationship or better yet marriage and I’m buying if the price is right. In exchange for your relationship, I have to give up time, affection, and all other options for YOU. See in this fashion you gave up something and I gave up something. These items must have a perceived equal value. If they are not then you will eventually have a conflict of interest, which is disastrous in terms of the deal.
There are three levels to this negotiation. At each level, the exchange must be equal and mutually agreed upon. At each level, the man must be the buyer.
- Man and Woman
- Boyfriend and Girlfriend
- Husband and Wife
If both sides of the agreement feel in any way that the sacrifice and benefits are organized in a way to gain interest for one party, then this will end in doom. Think of your most perfect relationship in which the couple always seems to be in bliss. You will notice that they both feel equal in all aspects. This happens whether or not she goes to work or any such barrier in today’s relationships. There is nothing more encouraging to a man than when he realizes the value of his woman is appreciating.
I want to do all my thinking at work and you do all your thinking at home. The plight of today’s women is this; women nowadays have to think at work and at home, and I only want to think at work. This creates a double duty for the woman. This creates an imbalance in the negotiations. If she has to perform double duty, what then is the need from me? There is only one thing that she will need from me if she has to perform double duties. Couples that are unbalanced can’t come to compromise in arguments. There is always going to be one left feeling subordinate. This will end in doom.
Men remember although we are less in volume and in quality, there are still options in the market place for her to upgrade. “Going soft is a habit, you have to keep yourself mean” this is an interesting quote and one I use every day. This quote is from the movie “Sleepers” but it applies to all aspect of life. If you do not keep in tip-top shape in regards to everything something will inevitably fall to the way side. As the statement goes, how you do one thing is how you do everything.