Imagine you're at the Zoo watching in aww. The Zookeeper walks slowly through the high grass of which the Lion, King of Beasts, dwells. He reaches in his bag to grab what appears to be a super-juicy uncooked steak, to which he hands off to the King of Beasts. He carefully walks away to live another day. The Zookeeper and the King of Beasts dwell together in harmony so long as the Zookeeper keeps the King of Beasts with a Queen of Beasts and plenty of delicious food to eat. The King and Queen of Beasts remain docile and jovial. 

What would happen should that Zookeeper begin to take for granted that he's dealing with a docile and jovial King and Queen of Beasts?

What would happen if the Zookeeper should elect, on any given day, not to appreciate the King and Queen of Beasts?

What would happen if the Zookeeper consciously decides not to feed the Royal Couple super-juicy uncooked steaks.

I'll tell you what happens. The King and Queen of Beasts will remember that they are Beasts and then attack as Beasts do.

When you're in a relationship, it's important to understand that your wife, husband, or your partner are Kings and Queens, human animals, and should be treated as such. Just because they have been docile and jovial doesn't mean they completely forgot who they are. It would be best if you never mistook kindness for weakness. It would help if you never mistook tamed, gentle, subdued Beasts for being soft and weak. Even Buck responded to the Call of the Wild.

Far too often, you may have gotten used to their demeanor. Have you ever forgotten that you were dealing with a King or Queen? What was the result?


Thinking everything should be 50/50 is killing your relationship! If you remember back to school or maybe you're still in school, but a 90-100% is an "A," 80-89 is a "B," 70-79% is a "C," 60-69 is a "D," and anything below a "D" is an "F." That means that if you received a 50% on anything, you got an "F." "F" stands for failure!

Your relationships are doing what!? Failing. I know you were taught because you're a man, you're supposed to do certain things. You were taught as a woman, and she's supposed to do certain things. That's completely false, and it's killing your relationship.

The break-down. Jordan didn't expect Scottie to bring 20% of his energy to the game each night. If he did, they wouldn't have won six rings. At this point, the answer should be obvious they won six rings because Jordan brought 100%, Pip brought 100%, and each member of the team brought 100% every night. If Pip only brought 20% of the energy that night Jordan played with the flu, we would not be talking about the Bulls and their six rings.

I want you to be successful in relationships, but to do that, you have to stop thinking you're splitting everything down the middle. You need 100%, and she needs 100% to get a 100%. If she brings 100% and you bring your 50% together, you're 75%, that's a "C," which is average at best! 


Appreciation hmmm. Should you be appreciated? Should you feel appreciated? Do you even understand appreciation?

Relationships, just like everything else, have a value system.

We teach this value system without understanding how the system works. Allow me to explain

If you do a quick search on the World Wide Web, meaning Google it, the word appreciation Google will define appreciation by giving the following definition “the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.

Webster (online) offers a couple of definitions:

A feeling or expression of admiration, approval, or gratitude

Increase in value.

Google’s definition is what the world has accepted without any details. Webster’s first explanation is just like Google, no details, but the second is where the big clue lives.

“Increase in Value”

In another post about the idiom, why buy the cow if the milk is free? I talked about the way you think or were taught to think. What I said was “if it has a value you buy it and if it has no value it’s free. If you restate it properly the idiom would be “don’t invest in anything that doesn’t produce a benefit.”

Let’s see how this works.

When you know your value then and only then can you start to appreciate. There is intrinsic value and extrinsic value. You weren’t taught the understanding of intrinsic value so you have no clue how that works, therefore, you look extrinsically for your value.

First, this is a flawed way of viewing things because there is not one person in the world that can see the world from your vantage pointe. The only person that can see from your vantage point is God.

What is an intrinsic and extrinsic value?

Intrinsic value in this context is another word for self-worth. Its how you think of yourself. It all boils down to confidence. Your level of confidence determines your worth in any situation.

An extrinsic value in this context is the value that the world has placed on you.

You are taught that intrinsic value will never match extrinsic value so you use extrinsic value to base your evaluation. Think of a penny. This penny can be boiled down to form copper and now to form zinc and copper. The way you were taught was that the copper from the penny is worth less than the one cent the penny is valued at or you would just melt the penny. If you translate that to you, then that would mean that you’re worth less than the value the world puts on you for being you.

What do you do? You base your confidence on how you’re treated in the world, not your confidence. If the world thinks you’re worthless you allow your confidence to reflect the world’s view of you.

In this vein of thought, you can never appreciate because the value of you is always changing based on the pictures you’re seeing. This is the real reason why you have idols. You see them and based on the way the world treats them you believe you will be treated if you can reach their pedestal. This also explains stereotypes because the pictures you see tell you who you are loud and clear. Also, you hear it over and over again so you believe you see confirmation.

The opening questions lead to totally different views on appreciation and ultimately why you’re not appreciated. It’s not until you start to value you then you can appreciate. Everyone has a baseline and anything above that baseline is appreciation.

Should you be appreciated? Yes, if you have provided value to someone or the world above the baseline. Think of it this way, while you’re dating you hang out spending time together helping build the confidence of the other person. The baseline is hanging out but because they are gaining confidence that you help to instill then to them you’re gaining value – being appreciated.

Should you feel appreciated? Yes, if you understand that you’re more confident today than you were yesterday. Think of it this way, while you’re dating you hang out spending time together. Because time is mental cash that when spent you can’t get back only invested you’re gaining confidence – felling appreciated.

Do you understand appreciation? Abso-freakin-lutely!


Daughter of the Woman You Chose

I saw an Instagram post either yesterday or today, I'm not sure, but it has been on my mind. It showed two pictures. One was of a woman and her daughter dress like dancers and was presented as if the mother was a stripper and her daughter was dressed just like her. The other was what appeared to be an educated woman who was putting a graduation cap on her daughter.

I commented on the post and said "there is no male in either picture". The reason for the comment was this. We are looking at the result of a series of males. For the sake of this post, we'll say she was a Stripper and the other picture was that of a Professor.

My guess is that the Stripper father wasn't in her life. Or, if he was he wasn't active or expanded her bucket as he should have. Without any information, you would assume that her father wasn't in her life and neither was her daughter's father. So the cycle continues.

In the case of the Professor, more than likely her father was in her life. You could make the assumption that her father wasn't in her life either but her mother was strong enough to direct and support her on her goals.

The majority of the comments were about what men don't want. I can't stand seeing content like this because again there are no men in the picture. To me that's the biggest problem, there are no men in the picture.

Have you seen a post like this? If you have seen a post like this, what are your thoughts?


Dinner smash? What do I mean? Dinner's meaning is obvious. Smash is slang for sharing emotions, intercourse, sex, and insert explicative.

Imagine several years ago, let's say seven, you met a handsome gent. You lost connection. There was never a real connection, to begin with, so it's not like you were Ghosted. When the two of you randomly linked back up he explained that somehow he had lost your number, but found it now (insert confused emoji). You chat for a bit then he suggests that the two of you should have dinner. After some petty verbal discourse, a challenge gets made to which he insists that he himself could be considered somewhat of a Chef. He desperately wants to prove it to you. The setting for this dinner competition is at his place. You agreed. You show up for dinner and he has in fact cooked a stupendous meal for the two of you.

What should happen next?

Should you leave after grading his dinner?

Should you stay maybe watch Netflix?

Should you suggest that the two of you go out for dessert?

What did you decide to do?

You decided to pay him for his meal and the effort he put in. You didn't decide to pay him with attention. You didn't decide to pay him with physical cash?

You decided that this meal and the effort that was put in was worth your body. Yes, you shared emotions with him. In other words, the two of you had sex.

Did you get to at least stay the night? Nope.

Here's my point. Over and over again I explain that relationships have a cash value.

Instead of searching through my hundreds of posts, I'm going to detail what I mean here.

How much do you think the meal was worth, in terms of actual cash? Let's say he spent a thousand dollars on the 1973 Chateau Montelena Chardonnay, Wagyu beef meatball stuffed with foie gras and truffle cheese and topped with White Truffle Marinara Sauce, and Homemade Tagliolini Pasta.

Even though that sounds absolutely delectable it doesn't match you. No, I'm not talking about the taste of you. It doesn't match the value of you.

The absolutely most important point is how much do you value yourself?

You gave him your body for the cost of dinner and the effort that was put in. He's left satisfied in every sense and you're left alone, which is unsatisfying. I don't care how good the intercourse was. I don't care how much the meal cost. I don't care how much effort he put in. You should not have come at such an inexpensive cost.

Please increase your self-esteem! Expand your bucket!

Have you ever been in a scenario similar to this one? How did you feel?





Let's talk about Social Media for a second. I open up Instagram. I type in "Relationships". The first thing I see is the account leaders, I guess. I click on the first account. Guess what I see as their latest post? I'm paraphrasing but it says something to the effect of don't beg for a friendship or relationship; you should receive the same effort as you give or let them go.

I thought wooooooooow that was so insightful. I'm not hating on the account but c'mon man people need cures, not treatment.

I ask you what do you gain from hearing this?

It's a rhetorical question because I know the answer, nothing.

Ok, let me ask you this, If you see a rose grow from concrete did the rose put in more or less effort than a rose that grows out of the ground in a garden?

I don't know because I'm not a rose.

So you judge the environment in which the rose grew and make assumptions about how difficult it was for the rose. I mean it had to be difficult for a rose to grow through concrete. Right? Maybe.

Everyone sees this broken concrete and through it blossomed a pretty rose. Everyone steps over the rose moves around the rose to admire the rose's beauty all day. At night the rose is a sight to see. The way the street lights bounce off the concrete to shine on the rose tells you although the rose's life has been rough you can't stop its shine.

But what about the beetles, mites, caterpillars, and grasshoppers in the garden? Not to mention the predators that eat them while they are eating. Oh, insecticides showering the rose to hopefully get rid of all of that.

Now, who has to put in more effort to grow?

This is why content like this doesn't serve to help you with your #relationshipgoals. You have to understand why you made the judgment in the first place. You have to understand you, then it will be easier to judge how much effort was put in because it will be based on how much you require.

Out of curiosity which rose are you?


You’re beautiful. You have the job, the body, and personality. When you walk into any room instantly you become one of the desirables. Then why the fuck are you single (insert angry emoji).

I’ll tell you why you’re single. Who you are doesn’t match with your self-esteem. There’s a mis-match.

Because of this mis-match you live in a confused world. By being confused you lie to yourself about who you are and because you’re lying to yourself you’re inadvertently lying to him.

You know you’re desired. You know you’re beautiful and smart. You know you’re sexy. You know all of those things until you leave the house.

Think of it this way, if I want to find people who love to play basketball I’m not going to go to the soccer field. Even if I sucked at basketball I would potentially find other people that suck too but love the game. That’s less likely at the soccer field. At the soccer field, you’re going to find people who love soccer.

Why would you go to the soccer field trying to find b-ball players, you wouldn’t, right? Oh, but you are.

The majority of people spend time where they are comfortable. There is a reason you feel comfortable there. Belongingness is wanting to be a part of a group. Where you go is driven by your self-esteem or confidence. By my example you went to the soccer field looking for people who love to play basketball, right?

Ok, let me put it another way. Let’s say you’re a Doctor. Let’s say you’re really sweet with it like Dr. Strange. You drive a black on black Lamborghini. You have a home hidden in the woods on a gazillion acres of land. If you were to hang out after work, where would it be? My guess is that it would be at some high-end lounge where only the elite of the elite can get into, you know, people on the level of Dr. Strange. You would not hang out downtown in Collegetown, USA. Would he?

The reason you wouldn’t is that you believe you are the best at what you do and people who are the best at what they do wouldn’t dare go there. Mentally you don’t have anything in common with commonfolk so you wouldn’t fit in. The sense of belongingness wouldn’t be there.

Right now your mind has shut off and it’s what is largely responsible for your relationship status. Let me explain, then I will tell you how to get past this bullschit.

If you go to the soccer field to look for basketball players then you may be the worst soccer player there and that’s ok. The reason it’s ok is that you aren’t that interested in soccer you’re interested in basketball. If they decide to teach you to play soccer it’s ok because there is no expectation because everyone already knows you suck. But here’s the trick. Because everyone there is really good at soccer it’s less likely they’re also good at basketball. So even without being tested, they assume you’re really good at basketball. This makes you the best basketball player on the soccer field.

How well do you feel? Comfortable remember.

So for the moment, you learn to play soccer but every time you want to play basketball they want to play soccer. So there is this disconnect. You either play soccer with the crew or play basketball alone until you find a crew that loves basketball. But if you found a crew that loved to play basketball then the fact that you suck will get put on Front Street and you will be forced to deal with the fact that you suck and get better if it’s what you love.

You want to be like Dr. Strange and hit the court knowing you’re the best or at least hang with the best.

Here’s how to make sense of this confusion. Unless being single is a choice most people will never understand this. There’s a little voice in your head that no one other than you can hear or talk to. She’s always with you. I know this sounds crazy but when you get comfortable hanging out with her then you will begin to properly align yourself. When you’re on the court practicing by yourself you’re getting better at hanging with her. Now let’s exchange the basketball court for anything you love to do. Finding love is easy when you know where to look and I just told you where to look. If you went to the bar with her (the person inside your head) then you’re not alone. So you two enjoy a drink or two or three and enjoy yourself.

Take ownership of yourself.

Be like Dr. Strange I spoke about. Hangout where people like you, the elite of the elite, hang out. More than likely you’ll find someone just like you there. Pick a place you love that’s where the elite of the elite like you hang out. If it’s the movies, go to the movies. If it’s an art museum go to the fucking museum.

Luck happens when the Universe spots love.


How did they do it?

What binds them all together?

There has to be something that you could use to your advantage, right?

I asked all the same questions and then it hit me.

There’s a not-so-secret, secret amongst the wealthy.

When you become King the importance diverts from being a leader of your country to finding a suitable wife. When you look amongst the wealthy there is something that is hidden.

It’s their wives.

Every last one of them is married with the exception of one, who has maintained a long-lasting relationship with one girl after four tries at marriage.

You want to emulate what did to gain success but success eludes you, why?

I’m not taking away any of their genii but I do believe the wife is where their brilliance comes from. Napolean Hill wrote about the transmutation of sex most think it’s about not having sex and using the extra “energy” to focus on accomplishing your goals.

I think it’s about adding energy to your focused goal.

When you have a wife two things can be said. One, you no longer focus energy on getting the baddest chick in the club ‘cause you already have her and she’s your wife.

That equals energy savings because if you know like I know it takes a lot of energy to remember what this one likes, how to excite that one, and what’s important to the other one. And two you have another energy source supporting your goals by giving you confidence and providing insight that you might not have ever thought of.

This list of the top ten richest men (and their wives) are as follows:

  1. Jeff Bezos (Mckenzie)
  2. Bill Gates (Melinda)
  3. Warren Buffet (Astrid)
  4. Bernard Arnault (Helene Mercier)
  5. Mark Zuckerberg (Priscilla)
  6. Amancio Ortega (Flora)
  7. Carlos Slim Helu (Soumaya)
  8. Charles & David Koch (Liz, Julia)
  9. Larry Ellison (Nikita – Long Time Girlfriend)
  10. Michael Bloomberg (Diana)

We’re a team gentleman and as your coach, this passage from Pacino in the longest yard (apply it to relationships) about sums it up. This is the millionaire’s secret. You can do what you want. Anything you have a passion for she will help you achieve it. Not too often do you find a family that remains poor forever that stays together?

I don’t know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time.

Now I can't do it for ya, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One-half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when adding up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight, it's the guy who's willing to die who's gonna win that inch.

And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. You’re gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?


When you read Genesis in the Bible God is talking to someone. Who? Himself or someone else? Could it Be?

Adam and Eve committed the first sin. Could it Be?

The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit equal the Holy Trinity. Could it Be?

Every single movie turns out to be a love story. Could it Be?

The difference between yours (single) and ours (plural) is y (why), right? Could it Be?

Could it be that everything that we were taught is the result of relationships? That sounds absurd, I know, but could it be?

When we learned the creation story we learned that the first day He said “let there be light” and the light was good that was day one. Then on day two, he separated the sky from Earth. Ok, the Bible uses firmament but firmament is a sphere which then creates imagery of a snow globe and within that snow globe we have separation of the water from below and water from above which means clouds in the sky or heaven. Then on the third day, He sowed and reaped, right? He planted grass with seeds and fruit trees which resulted in seeds falling back to earth. The fourth day He said in the Heaven (sky) the sun will be the light of day and the moon along with the stars be the light of night. He looked and yeah that looks good.

Using the sun and moon to distinguish signs and seasons, days and years. The fifth day in the creation story God created all the living creatures of land and sea. He then says be “fruitful and multiply”. The sixth day gives clue to the fact that God is not alone. God said look I gave you every herb with seeds and I gave you trees with seeds. To all the beasts I have given them herbs to eat. He noticed everything he had done and said it was very good. Then the seventh day he rested.

When I hear that I think of The Father who has been given a honey-to-do list by His Wife (The Holy Ghost).

Ok, wait.

The Holy Trinity is The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.  You can't be a Father without a Son and you can't have a son without a Mother and since Mother isn't mentioned directly that means...

I explain this in more detail in my upcoming E-Book Plucked From Heaven

Back to the interpretation.

He got his chores on day one. Day two he prioritized. Day three he went to work planting the grass and fruit tree seeds. He felt he not only did a good job but he could see in the future of how beautiful they were going to look. Day four He worked tirelessly day and night to get everything done. He realized that he used the sun to see everything in the daytime but he could also see in the night using the moon and the stars. Day five He created the names of all these things, therefore, he made them exist.

He said, “go be fruitful and multiply”. That’s how you show appreciation for your work! Day six after completing the list he says look Woman (The Holy Ghost). I planted the grass that has seeds so this grass will continue to grow on its own, boom. I planted the fruit trees. Not just any fruit trees but the fruit trees with seeds so when the seeds drop they are going to create more fruit trees, boom. Oh wait, there’s more. I fed all the animals with herbs. I gave names to the creatures of the land, sea and the sky (Heaven). Tomorrow I’m chilling. God's to-do list was completed and that made him feel good. The Holy Ghost is pleased because he has done so.

The point of all this is that what is missing from and ties everything to every story is the role of the Woman. Not only the role of the woman but marriage. Adam and Eve would have never committed the sin had they waited and gotten married or if nothing else the approval from God, The Father. As should be even in modern-day marriages.

Not only was he married but he was able to accomplish so much once given direction. (*wink-wink*)


I’m sitting in my office when it suddenly hit me. Was I taught to take advantage of people if they let me? Should I charge for everything that I do for anyone? On the flipside, could I possibly be better off financially if only I took advantage? Was this ideology taught to me with one simple idiom?

Then I asked three different people from three completely different backgrounds what they thought the idiom meant.

Wouldn’t you know it they all had the same exact explanation.

They all explained to me that it meant, to put it simply, “don’t be a hoe”. They all turned their nose up to look down on the cow for giving her milk away for free.

I was like wait, what?!

But then it all makes sense when I thought about it. I can’t stand the way in which you are taught relationships. It reminds me of the scene in Boys N’ Da Hood when Doughboy played by Ice Cube says to Cuba Gooden Jr. (Trey) after Ricky (Morris Chestnut) got killed as a result of senseless gang violence, “either they don’t know, don’t show or don’t care about what be going on in the hood.”

If you haven’t figured out what idiom I’m referring it’s, why buy the cow if the milk is free?

This idiom wasn’t built on the idea of promiscuity. It is not because men will never commit to a girl who is rather carefree, sexually. The emphasis is on two words buy and free”. It actually depicts a story of an even exchange.

I argue.

If you buy her a drink are you paying for the milk? The cow? If you pay for dinner and a movie did you just pay for the milk and the cow?

I don’t know and you don’t know either.

What do we know? We do know that if you pay for something you should get something in return.

Not understanding the foundation behind that one statement has ruined countless potential marriages. A marriage can be viewed as a lucrative deal. This can be very confusing if the message goes untaught or explained.

If you simply say to your daughter “why should he buy the cow if the milk is free” you, inadvertently, teach your daughter that if he pays for something then he should get something. You don’t tell her what he should get or what he is paying for or even what the payment method or terms are if we are considering this a lucrative deal.

As far as she’s concerned if he pays for the milk he should get the cow!

If you simply say to your son “why should you buy the cow if the milk is free” just like with your daughter you taught your son that if he pays for something he should get something. So he’s quick to buy milk knowing that he’s going to get the cow! On top of that if he doesn’t pay for the cow but he gets the milk, to him that means no one owns the cow so the milk is free for everyone! So he doesn’t want the cow and he’s damn near scared to drink the milk.

The idiom in itself is ambiguous but should be explained with context. No, you shouldn’t try to “get over” or exploit anyone in any deal.

The first thing that you have to know is that there are two forms of cash, mental and physical. Mental cash is all the things that don’t have a physical representation like time. Physical cash is something tangible, you can touch it.

If you don’t explain the two forms of cash then the idiom is taken literally. “Buy and free” are the only words that make sense to any situation because that picture applies directly to you and everyone. The image of milking a cow doesn’t do anything for you. You understand that if it has the value you buy it. And if it has no value it’s free.

I have to say that one more time because it depicts the way you think. You understand that if it has the value you buy it. And if it has no value it’s free. If you've bought a drink, dinner, movie, jewelry - whatever he’s paying for your time.

To help this make sense let’s picture you’re fifteen and you want to purchase your first car. You know the exact car you want. You go to the dealership. It’s your lucky day, the owner of the dealership is there to greet you when you show up to the lot. The car you want costs twenty-five thousand dollars. He says to you that you could either take out a loan for the twenty-five thousand dollars or you can come by every weekend for the next year and from open to close wash cars and then the car is yours.

If you chose to take the loan because you wanted the car right now, you pay twenty-five thousand dollars for the car, physical cash. You will get the car right away. The value of the car to you is twenty-five thousand dollars.

If you take the better deal of coming by every weekend for the next year to wash cars and the car is yours, was the car actually free?

You didn’t pay anything for it? Or did you?

This is the way in which we need to explain or understand relationships or if nothing else the idiom. Physical cash may speed up the end result, which ultimately should be marriage, a lucrative deal. Since the idiom wasn’t explained more often than not if he pays for something he gets something so this leads to sex. He paid with something physical and he got something physical just like going to the store and buying a pair of sneakers. When those sneakers get old or worn out what do you do with them? If he doesn’t pay for anything at all… well, we all know what we do with free.

Swagger Coxch is essentially about helping you change your vantage pointe to see exactly how beautiful you are.
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You may not even understand transmutation let alone the transmutation of sex.

There you are sitting on the couch contemplating relationship suicide or to watch porn. You have involuntarily abstained from sexual intimacy with your wife.

You're on your favorite couch. Legs up on the ottoman. The t.v. is on the news channel but that's not what you're seeing.

You're remembering that one time when you came home from work stressed out.

Suffering from the tension of spreadsheets, I will get that right over to you, and meetings for meetings about meetings that prep you for meetings.

She came downstairs in your favorite lingerie, you know the one she wore when she was role-playing as your mistress of sexual domination and walked right over to you started slowly, sensually, kissing on your neck then down the rest of your body.

She straddled you and began riding your excitement like its sophomore year on spring break after a night of tequila sunrises and corona's.

Where had she gone?

Had she died?


No, she's just "tired".

What is the transmutation of sex?

I learned this concept through my reading of Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. The meaning of the word "transmute" is, in simple language, "the changing, or transferring of one element, or form of energy, into another." To further define it, its the switching of the mind from thoughts of physical expression, to thoughts of some other nature.

This tool can help you achieve your dreams!

You know when men get to be in their fifty's they start spending a ton of time in the garage working on cars. They are extremely amped to cut the grass, wash the cars, and build stuff.

Typical mid-life crisis right.

Well, they might not realize what's happening. They have so much energy because they are no longer thinking about or engaging in sex so they come up with something else to occupy their time or target their energy.

That's a redirection of sex energies.

What you will notice is their new level of concentration and focus that leads to above average achievement levels.


When your wife is not letting you release your sexual energy, and it can be frustrating, but relationship suicide is not the way.

Instead, focus all that extra energy to achieve a goal that you may have been in the back of your mind. If you focus your energy on that idea instead of releasing the sexual energy you will be able to achieve more!

Stop focusing on the physical.



You completely missed this concept while watching Think Like A Man.

When two people meet, in whatever capacity, the "Bar of Equality" is set, meaning you see eye-to-eye. It doesn't matter that you're a Doctor and they're a fry cook. Let's say one of you got a promotion or gain a new perspective, one of you is growing. The reciprocal of that is one of you is remaining to stagnate or at least not growing at the same rate. Metaphorically speaking the one growing can see over the head of the other. That translates to being able to see a whole new class of people that you couldn't see before. This could mean relationship potential for friendships or lovers.

What should happen?

What should happen is that the person that is growing is to help the other grow as well. When this doesn't happen you grow apart. At this point, you either stay in an unhappy situation which both parties stop growing because their energies are attracting, not propelling. Or you leave and by leave, that means you find a new relationship or new group of friends. I'm not saying you have to be doing the same things but appreciate and embrace the changes a person makes in life.

What does any of that have to do with the movie, Think Like A Man?

Do y'all remember Think Like A Man? There was a Dreamer and an "Independent Woman". She wants to be a boss so bad that she initially doesn't think she could be happy with a Dreamer. She leaves him for someone who thinks similar to her. She, later on, realizes how she treated him. She didn't understand or appreciate his dreams until his dreams became a reality that she could see or be a part of. There initial break-up was a result of them not growing at the same rate. She eventually learns to appreciate him and it's happy-ever-after. That's the part of their battle that you didn't catch and now you're equipped with the tools to understand the storyline of all your relationships.

Swagger Coxch is essentially about helping you change your vantage pointe to see exactly how beautiful you are.
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Spoiler Alert: Ghosting has more to do with the entrance rather than the exit!

We have all watched several seasons of POWER.

In this Starz drama about a drug dealer trying to go legit. Ghost is the street name of Jamie St. Patrick. Mr. St. Patrick, trying to go legit owns a nightclub named Truth. Jamie "Ghost" St. Patrick is married with two kids at this point. Jamie's high school sweetheart, Angie Valdez, a Federal Agent, gets transferred abruptly by her father to another school.

Angie Valdez wonders into his nightclub hunting down a major druglord Kingpin and that's where the drama began

That's the backstory.

When Angie reemerges all of the feelings that Jamie had in high school surfaced as well.

As I explain in the episode Ghost gets Ghosted podcast if you do not completely close the door, then it's open.
What is being Ghosting?
Ghosting is when you fall deeply in love or just get really engaged in a person and then they disappear. That's the short version.

Ghosting is when you get your bucket or nozzle filled with premium energy then subsequently source disappears. Like a ghost.

Imagine you're as happy as you've ever been. Your life has all of sudden became the Usher sound "You Got It Bad". You're with that person day and night in what appears to be relationship bliss.

Then this person disappears and you don't know why.
Ghosting effects you mentally.
It leaves you stuck.

All of the most negative thoughts about yourself are now laughing at you and you can't get them to shut the fuck up.

This causes depression and low self-esteem. It places a brick in your bucket or nozzle.
How and why do people employ this awful technique?

The how is simple. You don't answer any phone calls, text, email, dm's, snaps or tweets.

The why is key.

You're dealing with this guy and you're so into him.

However, he disappears resulting in a mass culmination of all the aforementioned emotional hangups. By him leaving a brick in your bucket and disappearing he never gives you closure.

If the door isn't closed its open.

He discovered that his reason for cutting off all communication with you was unwarranted or the grass he thought was green had shades of brown on it. He wants you back.

He'll tell you that whatever the reason he disappeared was about him and not you.

You're perfect!

He dared to utter the words "you're perfect". You took the bait. What you hear next will be exactly what you need to hear to swing the door wide open and let him back in.

Ghosting has more to do with the entrance rather than the exit!

Ghosting is a result of someone who wants to be in your life but is unsure. He needs to have a seamless way back into your life. This is done by just leaving. Just leaving does not give you closure and creates self-doubt. This self-doubt is like a key to the back door. Returning out of nowhere, removing the self-doubt, you inadvertently open the door to allow him back in.

When he "ghosts" you as in the case of Angie Valdez and Jamie St. Patrick they disappear without a trace. Seemingly for no reason at all.


You meet a guy and you think the world of him. He's around when you're up and when you're down. He's your shoulder to cry on. His house is your safe haven. His arms protect you. He listens attentively to all of your gripes about the world.

You for some reason placed him in the friendship zone.

Instead of you giving him the title of boyfriend or husband, he's relegated to bestie.

Does that sound familiar?

What this guy is trying to show you because he isn't bold enough to tell you is that he's the one for you.

They hook you up with other people.

He’s a good guy. Here’s a good one, she’s a good girl. Have you ever heard those words before?

Whos lips vibrated to generate the sounds that when translated equated to those statements?

Chances are it was your “best friend” as they were introducing the two of you.

They have way too many pictures of you.

Think back to those carnival nights where the temperature was about a cool eighty-eight. You’re having the time of your life. You know these are the making of memories that are going to last a lifetime.

Then one day you’re at your friends' house feeling nostalgic, so you pull out those moments. Your senses are aroused as though the images are live.

Something interesting is happening.

You start to notice a recurring theme hidden deep within each pixel.

Ignore your thoughts. Keep looking at the pictures.

It's like watching a train about to wreck, you can’t look away.

Can’t shake the thought.

This thought could make things extremely awkward. It could ruin the relationship.

But you have suffered so many failed relationships and they have been there the entire time.

Could it work?

Nah I’m losing it, you think to yourself.

There has to be a way to see if they’re thinking the same thing.

You gather all the courage you can muster. Ignore that feeling in your gut. Settle your breathing that’s racing like Dale in a Nascar race.

Your lips utter the words, “why haven’t we dated”.

Their response shocks you.

They react as though the door to the pearly gates have been opened and they are being welcomed by God himself.

They play it cool and say “I don’t know, it could work”. That leads to a bunch of follow-up comments confirming how perfect the two of you have been for each other. You both are painting and believing the beautiful dream.

You guys go out for your first official date. Y’all have been to this spot a thousand times. It’s your spot. You share extremely passionate emotions that night. In the morning everything appears to be all good.

Your first argument and a situation from the past gets thrown in your face. You quickly realize that you experienced that incident with someone else. To make things worse they’re throwing it in your face as if it were them, but instead, it was with someone they hooked you up with.

Those pictures in which you were the focal point is now creepy. Your mind re-images everything you thought was nostalgic.

The lens gets wider.

You recognize all the moments and comments with something that was just slightly off-color.

You think about every failed relationship and how they were always right there to comfort you.

They always had exactly what you needed when you needed it.

You wonder how did they know? Boom you wake up and now know all those relationships ended or started because of them.

They punished you for not recognizing them in the first place.

How could you not see?

You're perfect for each other. If you do not see this as a term of endearment it will ruin the relationship, friendship, or whatever it is you believe you have. It will cause severe trust issues because the vale was kept up for so many years. That person should be your best friend and continue to be your best friend after the Officiator at your elaborate wedding has named you'll husband and wife.

Have you experienced best-friend sabotage or bliss, let me know in the comments below.


I bet you didn't know Lions did this. What? Tell us already.

I went to see the 1994 movie titled The Lion King about six times in the theatre.

Yes, I paid to see it that many times.

Yes, I cried all six times when Mufasa died. You better leave me alone.

That sparked an interest because I realized that I knew nothing about Lions.

Lions are King, but why not tigers?

Why are Lions the subject of about 80% of all motivational quotes?

Lions love the fight.

Tigers want to end the fight quickly and when they can’t they become uninterested, in other words, quit. Lions are the epitome of don’t rush, persevere.

Here's what you didn't see in the movie but really happens.

When the male cub reaches puberty, in human terms, he is sent out to fend for himself to build a new pride. He is sent out either on his own or with his friends, they are called a coalition.

When the cub comes across another pride he is killed. But if he should survive he becomes the Lion King. In the movie, we are led to believe that this happens by lineage. You have to challenge for the throne.

Here's where it gets interesting.

When there is a new Lion King he and his coalition will kill all the males in that pride.

Yes, that includes babies.

All of the women within that pride immediately get horney, go into heat or estrus.

The Lion King then goes to impregnate as many Lionesses as he has the energy for. Then after he can't go any longer his coalition get to pick from the rest in order of command. The next strongest gets to keep going until he's tired so forth and so-on.

Sound familiar? Let me show you.

It's now Saturday night.

You're out at the club.

You look around and suddenly you realize that you are surrounded by several "crews" or coalitions.

There's always that one crew that everyone knows in the club. He demands respect from most.

The Lion King.

The music starts to have those strong bass rifts and you can feel the tension building. You find yourself at the center of two coalitions because Lioness you're abnormally attractive.

As the beat picks up the arguing ensues. A fight breaks out.

The loser embarrassed and no longer respected as the Lion King has two options either shoot up the club or never return as the King.

All of the women get horney, go into heat or estrus as there is a new King on the block.

I hope you understand.

There is a reason why you choose the same mate and that is the same reason he can’t help himself.

As leader of the pack, you chose him because he would have the strongest genes.

Which means the highest chance of survival.

When your body starts sexually energizing you search for the strongest, most capable, prominent male figure you can find.

At that point it’s all animal instinct, secure the perpetuity of the pride.

This means that your unborn fetus is directing you to whom it wants its daddy to be.

In our society, we deny this is the case. We shame each other for our animalistic instinct. As men, we employ this naturally.


In the society of Lion's the social structure is the same as us. When there is a new Lion King there is a challenge for the throne. Beta males may get to choose from a lot of Lionesses that did not get impregnated by the King or his coalition. Lioness you're driven by your unborn offspring to choose the Lion King, as he will be most suited for their survival.