Imagine this: you're at the zoo, entranced by the grandeur of nature. The zookeeper tiptoes through the tall grass, encroaching on the domain of the Lion— the indisputable King of Beasts. From his satchel, he retrieves a mouth-watering, raw steak and serves it up to the regal beast. An unwritten agreement underlies their interaction: Peace reigns as long as the King of Beasts, his Queen, and their appetite are kept satisfied. In return, they exhibit a surprising docility, a jovial spirit even.
But let's flirt with the 'what ifs.' What if our trusty zookeeper starts taking his majestic charges for granted? What if he wakes up one morning, feeling a tad bit daring, and decides to skimp on their gourmet meals?
Well, the King and Queen will quickly remind him— with their teeth and claws— that their gentle facade doesn't erase their primal nature. After all, even the most domesticated beast remembers its wild instincts.
Isn't that the same with love? Your partner—be it your wife, husband, or significant other— mirrors the traits of these beasts. They are your King or Queen— gentle and tame, yes, but never forget that beneath lies a fierce spirit. They haven't forgotten who they are, and neither should you. Kindness is not a weakness, and a gentle beast isn't synonymous with being feeble. Remember Buck from Jack London's 'Call of the Wild?' Even he couldn't resist the primal call.
So, let me ask you a bold, spicy question: Have you been taking your King or Queen for granted? And, what's the cost?
Picture me, muscles flexed, wrestling a mountain of dirty dishes at the sink. Yup, this man knows his way around a sponge and a bottle of Fairy Liquid. My wife, true to her mom's old-school practices, believes in letting the dishes "soak." And by the time I'm ready for the wash, the water's turned a shade of murky brown.
As I turn on the tap, a burst of crystal-clear water rushes out. One by one, I pick the "soaking" dishes, give them a thorough scrub, and then place them in the dishwasher to dry. And yes, I confess, I use the dishwasher as a drying rack. Old habits die hard.
Now, here's where things get interesting. As I drain the brown water with clear water still gushing, a realization hits me like a jet spray.
A lot of us are stewing in dirty water—or rather, our minds are. Have you been feasting on the toxic broth of negative memes about how terrible men are? You might find yourself nodding in agreement. A meme flashes, saying something about a man's hollow love declarations if his actions say otherwise. Your inner voice goes, "Preach! I knew he was a jerk." You're buying into this because your mind is soaking in this negative soup—let's call it what it is—propaganda. This negativity is making your ideas and perceptions (aka dishes) grime-laden.
Don't forget that a man's love language might not resonate with yours, but it doesn't mean his feelings are any less real. The dirty water is playing tricks on your mind!
Here's the game plan: extract those dishes from the dirty water, scrub off the negativity, rinse them with the fresh stream of positivity, and let them dry in the sunshine of optimism. Then, pull that plug. Let go of the negativity. Cleanse your mental space.
How about a detox? Stay away from negative social media for 30 days, and instead, immerse yourself in positivity. I promise you, not only will your love life take a turn for the better, but you'll witness a complete transformation in your life.
Now, the million-dollar question: Who's game for a dishwashing challenge?
Pop on the television or flick through a magazine, and you'll notice a pattern. Big men are often painted as lazy, solitary beings. If we're seen with a stunning woman, what's the verdict? Must be rich, they say. It's an unsettling trend that some label as 'fatphobia'. But here's where they've got it all wrong - we have an advantage.
Imagine you're out and spot a radiant woman. You stride over and hit her with a cheery "Hi!" Your confident tone throws her. It's not what she was expecting. Forget the throng of 'Sexy Flexis' around. None had the courage to approach her. But you did.
Her internal relationship barometer goes haywire. Like a compass thrown off by a powerful magnet, she's disoriented because you were not part of her script. All the 'Sexy Flexis' in the room, and you, the unexpected hero, made the first move. Just by saying "Hi," you've taken the lead.
Consider yourself the Alpha Dawg, the front runner. Fashion and how it aids your advantage is a topic for another day. But, let's look at the usual suspects in any social scenario. First, there's the 'Yard Dog'. He knows the ropes, is familiar with everyone, and generally plays the dominant alpha. Then, there's the 'Guerilla Pimp'. His unconventional style wakes everyone up but also puts the 'Yard Dog' on high alert.
So, where do you fit in? You are the 'Smooth Operator'. Your size, regardless of how you're dressed, only intrigues the women and not seen as a threat by the 'Yard Dogs'. You're the quiet storm of confidence. By the time the 'Yard Dogs' take notice, you're already leading the dance with the belle of the ball. And that, my friend, is the advantage of the 'Big Fella'.
Can you relate to this? Share your experiences! I can tell you; when other men see me with my wife, I know they're left scratching their heads in bewilderment.
Picture this – you're at the racetrack, and the contenders are a hare, representing the modern man, and a tortoise, epitomizing the contemporary woman. If you've ever read Aesop's Fables, you know how this race ends. But have you ever pondered what this age-old tale signifies about our relationships today? This is where our focus key phrase - Unseen Advantage of the Tortoise - comes into play.
Most men, much like the hare, burst onto the dating scene with zest and energy, taking an early lead in the relationship race. They make grand gestures, promise the moon, and dazzle their partners with their seeming dedication. But like the hare, they slack off midway, falling into complacency. These are the men who let their ego and a false sense of superiority cloud their consistency. Their heedlessness gives rise to an unfortunate societal by-product - toxic masculinity.
Enter the tortoise - the woman. She might not be flashy or fast, but her strength lies in her consistency. She tirelessly progresses in the relationship, making her presence felt, carrying the load when the hare – the man – falls asleep. Herein lies the Unseen Advantage of the Tortoise. Women aren't becoming stronger. They have always been strong, only their strength has been overlooked and underestimated by men who have chosen to sleep on the job.
As a father, I've observed this societal dynamic closely. I'm here to tell you that a man is not a man until he upgrades to fatherhood - not merely through biological means, but through emotional investment, accountability, and consistent presence. If men shy away from these responsibilities, they leave the nurturing to women or other men, creating a vacuum that leads to either toxic femininity or masculinity.
The world has shifted to championing independence, but it's vital to understand that independence doesn't apply to emotional connectivity and family structure. It’s about time men wake up from their slumber and rejoin the race. Rather than grumbling about women's rising power, men should re-evaluate their stance and up their game. The tortoise is not the enemy; it's the alarm bell, reminding men of their dwindling lead in the race.
Consider this - what's the score when it comes to your relationship? You've probably heard that love is a 50/50 game but let me be the one to break the news - that mindset is killing your relationship. In school, if you scored a 50%, you flunked, right? So, why are we applying failing standards to our love lives?
Love is not a game where you can get by on half-effort. Applying a 50/50 approach to your relationship is like getting a constant "F". In our society, "F" stands for failure! So why are you setting your relationship up to fail?
We've all been taught gender norms - men are supposed to do this, women are supposed to do that. The problem? This mindset is dated and counterproductive. It's time to debunk these myths and shift your mindset to saving your relationship.
Take a page from Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen's playbook. They didn't achieve six championship rings by each putting in 50%. No, each of them showed up, game after game, giving 100% effort. If Pippen only gave 20% during Jordan's infamous flu game, the Bulls wouldn't have won the title.
In relationships, success lies in both parties committing to giving 100%. If you're only showing up with 50%, then you're just averaging out to a "C" - and who wants an average love life?
To truly experience a fulfilling and successful relationship, strive to give 100%, and encourage your partner to do the same. It's about both of you contributing fully to create a flourishing relationship.
So there I was, struggling with sharing my wisdom on confidence, my hands poised over the keyboard, my mind buzzing like a hive. Yet, the age-old question of credibility was my speed bump - was I genuinely in a position to preach about confidence?
Pivoting from the mental gridlock, I decided to turn to our trusty digital sensei, Youtube. I was diving into the Youtube loop, my eyes feasting on clip after clip, my brain synthesizing data faster than a supercomputer. The algorithm sure knew its game.
My screen was aglow with sneakers and fashion videos when I awoke, and a term kept popping up - "personality types". My neurons fired, and I recalled taking a personality test at work. The result had implied that I was a rare breed, a species almost on the brink of extinction.
Driven by curiosity and a tinge of skepticism, I decided to retake the test. No overthinking. No analyzing. Just gut reactions. With a drumroll playing in my head, I clicked on the results - I was still an INFJ, COVID humor included.
INFJ, a collection of four innocuous letters representing one of the rarest personality types globally. It felt like someone finally got me, beyond the mask, beyond the societal expectations, beyond the family ties. I felt seen, not just by Myers Briggs, but also by my fellow Youtubers.
And why not? With adjectives like altruistic, passionate, principled, insightful, creative, perfectionistic, and an aversion to the ordinary defining us, being an INFJ was like wearing a badge of honor. I wasn't just excited; I was turbo-charged.
Have you tumbled down the Youtube rabbit hole? How does it feel to uncover layers of your personality that were hitherto unknown? Go on, take the test, and let me know if your personality type fits you!
YouTube fame, I'm coming for you, right? Hang on, it's not that straightforward. I had my YouTube channel up and running, but it felt void. It echoed my words, but where was the soul, the fire, the essence of "me"?
In this conundrum, I did what any ambitious man wrapped in confusion would do: I dialed up my brothers. We spoke, and boy, did we speak. Each conversation felt like a marathon, not a sprint. The question on repeat was: How do I infuse my YouTube screen with my personality?
My middle brother, ever the straightforward one, said, "Stick to five minutes, max." The youngest, a pragmatist at heart, suggested a hook to intrigue viewers but emphasized brevity. Finally, my eldest brother (yeah, we're Irish twins) advised me to visualize my audience and connect directly to them. In essence: Be exciting, be concise, and please, stop rambling.
You see, we were raised by a warrior's code: no bragging rights for being a fighter unless you've weathered a few brawls. This motto shaped me into a real-life warrior, but how to weave those experiences into a captivating narrative was my challenge. My baby brother's advice? "Be you, but in less than 10 minutes." Short and sweet - got it.
My middle brother, ever the custodian of the code, warned against "snitching," or oversharing. Yet, he also proposed sharing tales that truly help others, following a "narrate first, elucidate later" strategy.
On the other hand, my eldest brother highlighted my ability to empathize. He advised me to leverage my emotional intelligence and confidence to make a real impact. "You've always been the protector of your loved ones with tenacity. So, do just that," he said.
So, here's the grand plan: I'm bringing all of that to my channel. I'll share my warrior stories, my learnings, my fervor, and my persona, all in under 10 minutes. YouTube, brace yourself, I'm coming for you!
Appreciation: a loaded word, isn't it? Do you truly comprehend its depth? More importantly, do you feel appreciated? Relationships, much like everything else, operate within a value system, a system we often fail to understand fully. Allow me to guide you through it.
Let's go on a little virtual journey, shall we? A quick search on the mighty internet, our all-knowing friend Google, yields the definition of appreciation as "the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something." Merriam-Webster offers similar sentiments, highlighting admiration, approval, gratitude, and intriguingly, an "increase in value."
That's right, appreciation translates to an increase in value. I delved deeper into the concept of value in my previous post, where I explored the adage, "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" It essentially emphasized the human tendency to invest in things that yield benefits, and ignore those that don't.
Now, here's where the plot thickens: the value concept is two-fold, comprised of intrinsic and extrinsic components. Intrinsic value, or self-worth, hinges on confidence. Your level of self-assuredness influences your perceived worth in any situation. Extrinsic value, on the other hand, is the worth society assigns to you.
Consider a penny: an unassuming coin, right? However, its intrinsic value lies in the copper it embodies. Yet, most of us overlook its potential, focusing on the nominal value instead. Similarly, we often undervalue our intrinsic worth and let society dictate our value.
Here's a revelation: you can't truly appreciate anything if your self-worth fluctuates with societal opinions. You might idolize others based on their societal standing, thinking that their pedestal is the ultimate goal. But, my dear friend, true appreciation begins when you start valuing yourself, independent of the world's judgement.
So, should you be appreciated? Absolutely, especially if you've contributed value beyond the baseline, uplifting others and the world around you. Should you feel appreciated? Again, yes, if you acknowledge your growing self-confidence. Lastly, do you understand appreciation? I believe, after this enlightening exploration, the answer is a resounding "Yes!"
Scrolling through Instagram, a thought-provoking post caught my attention. It featured two contrasting images, one depicting a mother and daughter dressed as dancers, while the other showcased an educated woman celebrating her daughter's graduation. Yet, something crucial was missing from both pictures—the presence of a male figure. This absence raised questions about the role of fathers in shaping the lives and aspirations of their daughters.
In this scenario, we can speculate that the stripper's father was not actively involved in her life, continuing a cycle of absent father figures. Without sufficient information, it's possible that the same holds true for the daughter's father. The repercussions of such absence can perpetuate the cycle of limited opportunities and unfulfilled potential.
On the other hand, the image of the professor and her daughter suggests a different narrative. While we cannot make definitive assumptions, it is likely that the professor's father played a significant role in her upbringing. However, her mother's strength and support were vital in directing her towards her goals and empowering her to achieve academic success.
The absence of men in these pictures is the crux of the issue. It highlights a larger problem: the lack of active male involvement in shaping the lives of their children. This absence perpetuates negative cycles and limits opportunities for growth and empowerment.
Rather than focusing solely on what men don't want, it's crucial to address the underlying issue—the absence of men in the lives of their children. Men have the power to make a positive impact, to be present, supportive, and actively involved in nurturing their daughters' aspirations.
Have you come across a similar post that raises questions about absent fathers? What are your thoughts on the implications of such images? Let's open up a dialogue and explore the significance of male presence in shaping the lives of young women.
Imagine reconnecting with a charming gentleman after years of lost contact. He invites you to a dinner he prepared to prove his culinary skills. As you enjoy the delicious meal, a question arises—what comes after dinner? This story delves into the dynamics of self-worth, relationships, and the price we put on ourselves.
After savoring an exquisite meal, you faced a choice. Do you leave after grading his cooking skills? Do you suggest watching Netflix? Or do you consider going out for dessert? Ultimately, you decided to pay him with more than just attention or physical cash. The value placed on the dinner and effort led to a deeper connection—the intimate exchange of emotions, a dinner smash.
But here's the twist. Despite the connection formed, you found yourself left alone, unsatisfied. It doesn't matter how incredible the intercourse was or how much the meal cost. What truly matters is how much you value yourself. Did you come at too low a price? Did you sell yourself short?
It's time to increase your self-esteem and expand your bucket. Relationships should be based on mutual respect, appreciation, and genuine value, not a mere transactional exchange. The worth you assign yourself sets the standard for how others will perceive and treat you.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar scenario? How did it make you feel? Share your experiences and join the discussion on valuing oneself in relationships.
Welcome to an extraordinary journey of transformation, where the majestic Lion yearns to become an agile Gazelle. In the realm of relationships, the Lion's hunger for success drives the pursuit of greatness. But as the Gazelle dances gracefully amidst the chase, it's time to explore your true potential and claim your place among the legends. Get ready for a thrilling adventure that will redefine your understanding of love and propel you towards an extraordinary destiny.
Within the depths of your being lies the untamed spirit of a Gazelle, eager to break free from the confines of the Lion's hunger. In this section, we will unlock the secrets to tapping into your inner Gazelle and unleashing your unique gifts in the world of relationships. Prepare to witness your transformation unfold.
Greatness beckons, and the Gazelle within you is ready to sprint towards the pinnacle of success. Join the ranks of renowned relationship gurus by challenging the status quo and carving your own path to glory. Embrace your unwavering belief in your understanding of relationships and prepare to make history.
Picture this—a world ablaze with excitement, where your wisdom and insights ripple through generations. As I embarked on my own journey from Lion to Gazelle, I felt the fire of passion ignite within me. The pursuit of greatness became an exhilarating dance, propelling me towards a destiny I never thought possible.
In the realm of relationships, the torch of wisdom passes from one legendary figure to the next. Just as Magic paved the way for Jordan, and Kobe followed in their footsteps, it's time for you to step onto the stage as the next torchbearer. Embrace the opportunity to shape the landscape of relationships and leave an indelible mark on the world.
A legacy that transcends time—this is the true essence of becoming a Gazelle. Imagine your wisdom etched into the pages of history books, your teachings shaping the minds of future generations. As Einstein and Freud, the Gazelles of their time, left an enduring impact, it's your turn to craft a legacy that will echo throughout eternity.
Remember, the journey from Lion to Gazelle is one of audacious dreams and unwavering determination. Embrace the chase, unleash your inner Gazelle, and pave the way for a new era in the realm of relationships. The world awaits your legendary transformation!
Picture this - a casual Instagram scroll. You tap into that handy search bar and type in #RelationshipGoals. Boom! The first thing to hit your retina? The who's who of relationship gurus.
So, you, my friend, do what any curious soul would do. You tap on the first account. And what's their most recent gem of wisdom? Drumroll, please... "Don't beg for love or friendship. If the effort isn't mutual, pack your bags and hit the road, Jack (or Jill)."
Now, doesn't that just blow your socks off with its profound insight? I'm not throwing shade at the account, but I mean, really? Isn't it about time we start offering cures instead of band-aids?
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not asking you to point fingers. It's more of a rhetorical musing. And we both know the answer: zip, zero, zilch.
Okay, indulge me for a second. Suppose you see a rose sprouting right out of a solid concrete slab. Now, would you say that rose had to hustle more than a garden-grown rose?
Honestly, I wouldn't know. Last time I checked, I wasn't a rose. But it's easy to judge the rough 'n' tough environment and assume life's been hard for our concrete rose. I mean, it’s got to be a rough ride for a delicate bloom to break through solid concrete, right? Maybe. Maybe not.
This concrete rose, blooming against all odds, becomes the center of attention. Folks stepping over and around it to admire its resilient beauty. When night falls, it’s a sight to behold. Bathed in the soft glow of street lights reflecting off the concrete, it's a symbol of how rough beginnings can't dim true inner radiance.
But hang on, have we forgotten our garden rose? Amidst beetles, mites, caterpillars, and grasshoppers not to mention those predators who snack on them! Oh, and don’t forget the friendly neighborhood insecticide showers. Isn't this rose's journey equally tumultuous?
So, I pose the question again: who's had to work harder to grow?
This is why I'm a bit skeptical of these typical social media relationship nuggets. To really level up your love game, you've got to do some serious self-discovery. Why did you judge the situation in the first place? The moment you comprehend your own nature, only then can you start evaluating the efforts put into your relationship. It'll all boil down to what you need to flourish.
So, my friend, which rose are you? Are you breaking through concrete slabs or gracefully dancing around garden bugs?
Remember, my friend, love isn't about treatment, it's about cure. The journey starts with you! "If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."
Imagine this. You're stunning. You've got the job, the physique, and the charm. Whenever you make an entrance, you're like a dazzling light in a room full of shadows. So why the hell are you single (insert perplexed emoji)?
Well, allow me to spill the secret. It's the discord between who you are and your self-esteem. You've got this little thing called a mis-match.
Because of this mis-match, you're stuck in a maze of self-confusion. You're wearing a mask, fibbing to yourself about your identity. And honey, if you're lying to yourself, you're inevitably lying to him too.
Sure, you're desired. You're aware that you're a knockout, brainy and seductive. But the moment you step outside, all these certainties fade.
To paint a picture, let's say you're looking for fellow basketball enthusiasts. But instead of hitting the courts, you march straight into a soccer field. Crazy, right? But guess what? You're doing exactly that.
Most of us spend our time where we feel at home. There's a reason you're cozy in that spot. The desire to fit into a group drives you. It's intertwined with your self-esteem and confidence.
Now, let's spin this differently. Picture yourself as a hotshot doctor, a maestro in your field like Dr. Strange. Your Lamborghini's sleek, your home's nestled in a secluded forest sprawl. Post-work, where would you hang out? A swanky, elite lounge, right? Not downing cheap beers in a college town.
You won't be there because you don't vibe with the common folk. You don't belong.
Now, I hear your thoughts whirring. Let's clear the fog.
If you're hunting for basketball players in a soccer field, you might just be the worst soccer player out there. And that's okay. You're interested in basketball, not soccer. But here's the catch. The soccer enthusiasts might assume you're ace at basketball, making you the best basketball player in a soccer field.
But when it's time for some basketball action, they're all about soccer. So, you either join the soccer team or play solo until you find a basketball crew. But if you find that crew, you'll have to confront your shortcomings and improve to stay in the game.
Making sense of this whirlwind can be tricky. But let's untangle the mess. There's a little voice inside your head, a voice only you can hear. When you learn to hang with this voice, you'll find your groove.
Replace the basketball court with anything you love to do. The quest for love becomes simpler when you know where to look. Enjoy a drink or two at the bar, an art exhibition, or a movie with that voice. That's how you own yourself.
Be the Dr. Strange of your life. Hang where the elite of the elite - people like you - chill. You're likely to meet your match there. Find your happy place and spend your time there. If it's a movie theater, go watch a movie. If it's an art museum, head there.
Remember, the universe conspires to give you what you love.
How did they achieve that level of success? What mystical force binds them? Is there a hidden advantage to exploit?
I asked all these questions until the answer unveiled itself, just like a bewitching secret held amongst the most affluent. When you ascend the throne, your focus shifts from ruling your empire to discovering the perfect queen. The wealthiest harbor a hidden asset: their wives.
Amongst the uber-wealthy, all except one are blissfully married or have mastered the art of a long-standing relationship. Curious, isn't it?
You attempt to emulate their success, but it seems elusive. Why, you ask? Their wives might just be the source of their genius. Napoleon Hill, in his wisdom, wrote about the 'transmutation of sex.' It's not about celibacy and channeling the pent-up energy into your objectives. I say it's about amplifying your energy towards your goals.
Once you have a wife, two energies come into play. First, you stop expending energy to attract the "baddest chick" at the club - you already have her. You conserve that energy - and we all know how draining it can be to remember each one's likes, dislikes, and sweet spots.
Secondly, you harness an additional energy source - your wife, who fuels your goals, bolsters your confidence, and provides insights that might never have crossed your mind.
Take a look at the list of the world's top ten wealthiest men, all with their secret weapon by their side:
Jeff Bezos (Mckenzie), Bill Gates (Melinda), Warren Buffet (Astrid), Bernard Arnault (Helene Mercier), Mark Zuckerberg (Priscilla), Amancio Ortega (Flora), Carlos Slim Helu (Soumaya), Charles & David Koch (Liz, Julia), Larry Ellison (Nikita – Long Time Girlfriend), Michael Bloomberg (Diana).
We are a team, gentlemen, and as your coach, I propose we take a leaf from Pacino's book. We fight for our goals, inch by inch. We sacrifice for the team because we know the team will do the same. That's the millionaire's secret.
Life, like football, is a game of inches. A half-step too early or too late, and you miss it. We claw, fight, and tear ourselves apart for that inch because we know, adding up those inches makes the difference between winning and losing, between living and dying.
So, what are you going to do? Will you fight for that inch, for your success, for your relationship? Because that's what living is - the six inches in front of your face. And remember, the person by your side, they're willing to go the extra inch with you.
"If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."
Who knew that the divine tale of Genesis had such an alluring secret hidden in plain sight? Grab a glass of wine, get cozy, and prepare yourself for an enticing revelation you won't soon forget. Could it be? Let's dive into this mystery together.
We've all heard about the Holy Trinity: The Father, The Son, and the Holy Ghost. It's a tale as old as time and the heart of our faith. But who exactly is God talking to in Genesis? Himself or someone else? Or, better yet, a charming companion? Let's take a peek.
Then there's our original power couple, Adam and Eve, who set the stage for all of humanity. They committed the first sin, but was it just a naughty twist in a divine love story? Could it be?
The truth is, every tale - whether in the Bible or the latest blockbuster - eventually winds down to a love story. Could it be that everything we've been taught is the result of relationships? Now, that's a saucy thought to simmer on.
Looking at the six days of creation, I can't help but see a passionate partnership at play. From illuminating the world with light to painting the skies and seas with vibrant life, God accomplishes it all, and what does He do on the seventh day? He rests, just like any good husband would after ticking off his honey-do list.
Here's where the mystery unravels. The Holy Trinity, right? Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. But who could a Father and Son be without a Mother? I think I just heard a collective gasp. Could the Holy Ghost be the divine feminine? It's all making sense now.
To learn more about this sultry revelation, you'll have to check out my upcoming E-Book, "Plucked From Heaven".
So, there it is. The secret ingredient in every grand narrative - the role of the woman. It's not just the presence of a woman, but the profound power of marriage, the spark that sets everything ablaze. The story of Adam and Eve takes a completely different turn when viewed through this lens, doesn't it?
And there you have it! I hope you enjoy this fun and flirty take on Genesis. And remember, love is everywhere, sometimes in the places you least expect it! "If you can't see your success, change your vantage pointe."